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Happy Gilmore Quotes From Happy, Shooter, and More

Starring a young Adam Sandler, Happy Gilmore is a cult classic that has made audiences laugh for over 20 years.

Relive the movie’s hilarious moments through these Happy Gilmore quotes. 

What’s your favorite scene from Happy Gilmore

Happy Gilmore centers around a luckless hockey player.

He shifts his attention towards golf instead of hockey to earn enough money to save his Grandma’s house from being repossessed by the government.

The film’s ensemble cast includes Christopher McDonald as a top professional golfer and Carl Weathers as Happy’s mentor.

Along with being a commercial success, Happy Gilmore has had a large cultural impact that influences many today. 

Dive back into the story of Happy Gilmore through the funny quotes below.

Don’t forget to also check out these hilarious Schitt’s Creek quotes from the Emmy-Winning comedy.

If you like this article, we suggest you explore our most popular quotes article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily encouragement. 

Look through our complete collection of inspirational quotes here.

Happy Gilmore quotes from Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

1. “Hey, why don’t I just go eat some hay, make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may! What’d ya say?” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

2. “You little son of a bitch ball! Why don’t you just go home? That’s your home! Are you too good for your home? Answer me! Suck my white ass, ball!” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

3. “I didn’t break it, I was merely testing its durability, and I placed it in the woods cause it’s made of wood and I thought he should be with his family.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

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4. “But she’s an old lady. I mean, look at her. She’s old. You can’t just take her stuff. She’s too old.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

5. “During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

6. “You’re gonna die, clown!” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

7. “Did that go in? I wasn’t watching, did it go in? I didn’t see it, could you tell me if it went in?” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

8. “Friends listen to “Endless Love” in the dark.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

9. “I’d love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can’t, you know, because I’d get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on “Let’s Make A Deal.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

10. “The price is wrong, bitch.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

More quotes by Happy Gilmore

11. “I’m stupid. You’re smart. I was wrong. You were right. You’re the best. I’m the worst. You’re very good-looking. I’m not attractive.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

12. “I am good. You know what, you’re a lousy kindergarten teacher. I’ve seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they suck.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

13. “That’s my puck, baby, don’t you ever touch my puck.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

14. “Yeah, it is about time! I mean I just couldn’t get the ball in the hole! I wanted to but I just couldn’t do it!” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

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15. “Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy. Tap tap taparoo.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

16. “Whoa, must be Burt Reynolds or somethin’.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

17. “I got into this tournament for one reason: money. And now I have a new reason: kicking your ass!” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

18. “Green jacket, gold jacket who gives a crap?” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

19. “If I saw myself in clothes like that, I’d have to kick my own ass.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

20. “Yeah, well we won’t have to worry about eating anymore, Grandma. See, they gave me this card: free Subway for life.” – Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

Have you seen these Mamma Mia quotes from the musical romantic comedy?

Happy Gilmore quotes from Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)

21. “You’re in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!” – Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)

22. “You lay another finger on me, I burn the house down and piss on the ashes.” – Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)

23. “Damn you people. This is golf. Not a rock concert.” – Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)

24. “I tell you, the real winner today is the city of Portland. Every time I come here it gets hard to leave. I bet you put something to the water.” – Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)

25. “Oh, you can count. Good for you.” – Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)

If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of golf quotes that will give you the motivation to keep playing and practice.

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Does Adam Sandler inspire you?

Adam Sandler is known for starring in comedies where he’s playing the fool, but the business behind the films is far from stupid.

The actor launched Happy Madison Productions in 1999.

The production’s name combines the titles of two of his most iconic films: Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison.

Since then, Happy Madison Productions has produced almost every comedy film Sandler has been a part of. 

Sandler inspires me because he took his unique brand of comedy and transformed it into a flourishing business.

He’s able to cater to his core audience while still retaining the flexibility of going against type, like starring in drama films such as 2019’s Uncut Gems

Which of these Happy Gilmore quotes and lines is your favorite?

Let us know below!

Nia Simone McLeod
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