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Funny Birthday Quotes Sure to Make You Smile

The marking of a special time and a reminder that life is precious, these funny birthday quotes will brighten that big day.

Some birthdays indicate that you have reached an important milestone, such as a 1st, 16th or 21st birthday. After those birthdays, what are some perfect words to wish someone on their birthday?

What makes birthdays special?

When we are young, birthdays are full of promise and presents. As we get a little older, we tend to approach a birthday with a little less gusto. Some of us have even lied about just how many birthdays we have celebrated!

Here are some zingers meant to remind you that every birthday is worth celebrating and leave a smile on your face. So, take a deep breath, and laugh heartily. Save just enough air to blow out the candles on your cake!

50 Funny Birthday Quotes Sure to Make You Smile

We also have a collection of happy birthday quotes for a friends on wishes and success. Don’t forget to also read that.

Funny birthday quotes from actors and comedians

1. “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

2. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

3. “That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.” – Bob Hope

4. “When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.” – Joan Rivers

5. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

6. “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” – Bette Midler

7. “Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.” – Rodney Dangerfield
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Rodney Dangerfield quotes and famous one-liners.

8. “The older you get the better you get, unless you are a banana.” – Betty White

9. “The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” – Doris Day

10. “Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” – Billie Burke

11. “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty Collins

12. “If you survive long enough, you’re revered-rather like an old building.” – Katherine Hepburn

13. “Eventually you reach a point where you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers

14. “Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!” – Kate Summers

Also read these insightful age quotes for the young and young at heart.

Funny birthday quotes about cake, candles, and gifts

15. “A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.” – Erma Bombeck

16. “All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.” – George Harrison

17. “Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.” – Steven Wright

18. “Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.” – Aziz Ansari

19. “I like birthdays because we celebrate with life with cakes. It’s so cool. Sometimes, when I see a baby, I’m like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I’m like the cake streak is over.” – Demetri Martin

20. “When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lit you know you are getting up there.” – Catherine Pulsifer

21. “Birthdays are a great time to stop an appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room, so you don’t have to chase it.” – Greg Tamblyn

22. “You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.” – Felix Severn

23. “For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier…I put them in my room and let them fight it out.” – Steven Wright
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Steven Wright quotes to make you laugh.

24. “I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So, I got a cake!” – Mitch Hedberg

Funny birthday quotes to make your special day

25. “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.” – Anonymous

26. “We must both, I’m afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars-more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” – C.S. Lewis

27. “Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.” – Unknown

28. “I’m not aging, I’m marinating.” – Unknown

29. “Middle age is when a man is warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman.” – Unknown

30. “Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday and it said that I needed an upgrade.” – Unknown

31. ” A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” – Robert Frost

32. “Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.” – Ogden Nash

33. “This birthday when someone refers to your many years, you can tell them you are now a classic, and classics are priceless.” – Catherine Pulsifer

34. “Just remember once you are over the hill, you start to pick up speed.” – Charles Schultz

35. “We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Funny birthday quotes that will make you laugh out loud

36. “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – H.V. Prochnow

37. “For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.” – John Glenn

38. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain

39. “You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday!” – Catherine Pulsifer

40. “From our birthday, until we die, is but the winking of an eye.” – William Butler Yeats

41. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash

42. “It’s better to be over the hill than under it.” – Unknown

43. “You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.” – Irish Saying

44. “Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Danish Proverb

Other special and funny birthday quotes

45. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” – Golda Meir 

46. “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” – Charles Schulz

47. “Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” – Nicky Gumbel

48. “At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.” – Unknown

49. “It’s better to be one month older than one month late!” – Unknown

50. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Rev. Larry Lorenzoni

Which of these funny birthday quotes made your day

These funny birthday quotes have hopefully given you the inspiration for a worthy birthday card inscription. Or maybe little sticky notes, one for each day, on the month leading up to someone’s birthday. Maybe, you were feeling a little blue about getting older and needed a pick me up.

A birthday is the one day a year that we get to celebrate ourselves, or our loved ones, and it should be enjoyed to the fullest extent possible! Here’s some final words of advice on birthdays: husbands, don’t get her an appliance of any kind (unless she asks), enjoy the cake on your special day, and laugh a lot at whatever life threw at you the previous year!

Did you enjoy these funny birthday quotes and sayings? Which of the quotes is your favorite? Tell us in the comment section below. We would love to hear all about it.

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor
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