The marking of a special time and a reminder that life is precious, these funny birthday quotes will brighten that big day.
Some birthdays indicate that you have reached an important milestone, such as a 1st, 16th or 21st birthday.
After those birthdays, what are some perfect words to wish someone on their birthday?
What makes birthdays special?
When we are young, birthdays are full of promises and presents.
As we get a little older, we tend to approach a birthday with a little less gusto.
Some of us have even lied about just how many birthdays we have celebrated!
Here are some zingers to remind you that every birthday is worth celebrating and leaving a smile on your face.
So, take a deep breath, and laugh heartily. Save just enough air to blow out the candles on your cake!
We also have a collection of happy birthday quotes for friends on wishes and success.
Don’t forget also to read that.
Funny birthday quotes from actors and comedians
1. “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope
2. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen
3. “That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.” – Bob Hope
4. “When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.” – Joan Rivers
5. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
6. “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” – Bette Midler
7. “The older you get the better you get, unless you are a banana.” – Betty White
8. “The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” – Doris Day
9. “Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” – Billie Burke
10. “Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.” – Rodney Dangerfield
If you enjoy these quotes, read our collection of Rodney Dangerfield quotes and famous one-liners.
11. “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty Collins
12. “If you survive long enough, you’re revered-rather like an old building.” – Katherine Hepburn
13. “Eventually you reach a point where you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
14. “Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!” – Kate Summers
Also read these insightful age quotes for the young and young at heart.
Funny birthday quotes about cake, candles, and gifts
15. “A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.” – Erma Bombeck
16. “All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.” – George Harrison
17. “Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.” – Steven Wright
18. “When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lit you know you are getting up there.” – Catherine Pulsifer
19. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
20. “You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday!” – Catherine Pulsifer
21. “From our birthday, until we die, is but the winking of an eye.” – William Butler Yeats
22. “You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.” – Felix Severn
23. “I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So, I got a cake!” – Mitch Hedberg
24. “For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier…I put them in my room and let them fight it out.” – Steven Wright
If you’re enjoying these quotes, read our collection of Steven Wright quotes to make you laugh.
Funny birthday quotes to make your special day
25. “Just remember once you are over the hill, you start to pick up speed.” – Charles Schultz
26. “We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
27. “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” — Ubie Blake
28. “If we could be twice as young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.” — Euripedes
29. “Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened.” — Jeniffer Yane
30. “It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.” — Brigitte Bardot
Funny birthday quotes that will make you laugh out loud
31. ” A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” – Robert Frost
32. “Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.” – Ogden Nash
33. “This birthday when someone refers to your many years, you can tell them you are now a classic, and classics are priceless.” – Catherine Pulsifer
34. “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.” – Anonymous
35. “We must both, I’m afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars-more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” – C.S. Lewis
36. “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – H.V. Prochnow
37. “For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.” – John Glenn
38. “Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.” – Aziz Ansari
39. “I like birthdays because we celebrate with life with cakes. It’s so cool. Sometimes, when I see a baby, I’m like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I’m like the cake streak is over.” – Demetri Martin
40. “Birthdays are a great time to stop an appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room, so you don’t have to chase it.” – Greg Tamblyn
41. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash
You might also like these birthday quotes celebrating life, age and friendships.
42. “It’s better to be over the hill than under it.” – Unknown
43. “You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.” – Irish Saying
44. “Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Danish Proverb
Other special and funny birthday quotes
45. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” – Golda Meir
46. “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” – Charles Schulz
47. “Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” – Nicky Gumbel
48. “At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.” – Unknown
49. “It’s better to be one month older than one month late!” – Unknown
50. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Rev. Larry Lorenzoni
Funny Birthday Quotes To Have More Fun As You Celebrate That Special Day
51. “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” — Oprah
52. “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” — Ogden Nash
53. “I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.” — Francis Bacon
54. “A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.” — R. C. Ferguson
55. “Happy Birthday to you, we hope that all year you never feel blue.” — Marcia Goldlist
56. “They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.” — Malcolm Cowley
57. “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” — Tom Wilson
58. “Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.” — Robert Southey
59. “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.“ — Carl G. Jung
60. “Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty.” — Joan Rivers
Funny Birthday Quotes Perfect For a Birthday Card
61. “Don’t regret another birthday, the good news is that you are alive and can celebrate it.” — Catherine Pulsifer
62. “One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you’ve become harmless.” — Liz Smith
63. “Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.” – Unknown
64. “I’m not aging, I’m marinating.” – Unknown
65. “Middle age is when a man is warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman.” – Unknown
66. “Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday and it said that I needed an upgrade.” – Unknown
67. “The good thing about getting older is if you don’t want to do something you can say, I’m too old to do that!” — Kate Summers
68. “As you get older, though, you realize there are fire extinguishers. You do have an ability to control the flames.” — Chaka Khan
69. “Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.” — Kin Hubbard
70. “You’ve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and you’re looking wonderful.” — Cardinal Spellman
Funny Birthday Quotes For A Friend
71. “May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.” — Frank Sinatra
72. “You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.” — Germaine Greer
73. “When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” — Gracie Allen
74. “It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.” — Ellen Glasgow
75. “When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.” — Steven Wright
76. “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” — Norman Wisdom
77. “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” — Maurice Chevalier
78. “The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.” — Oscar Wilde
79. “Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” — Dr. Seuss
80. “A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.” — Muhammad Ali
Which of these funny birthday quotes made your day
These funny birthday quotes have hopefully given you the inspiration for a worthy birthday card inscription.
Or maybe little sticky notes, one for each day, on the month leading up to someone’s birthday.
Maybe, you were feeling a little blue about getting older and needed a pick-me-up.
A birthday is the one day a year that we get to celebrate ourselves or our loved ones, and it should be enjoyed to the fullest extent possible!
Here are some final words of advice on birthdays: husbands, don’t get her an appliance of any kind (unless she asks), enjoy the cake on your special day, and laugh a lot at whatever life threw at you the previous year!
Did you enjoy these funny birthday quotes and sayings?
Which of the quotes is your favorite?
Tell us in the comment section below.
We would love to hear all about it.
September 27, 2022 5:00 AM EST