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Funny Birthday Quotes Sure to Make You Smile

The marking of a special time and a reminder that life is precious, these funny birthday quotes will brighten that big day.

Some birthdays indicate that you have reached an important milestone, such as a 1st, 16th or 21st birthday.

After those birthdays, what are some perfect words to wish someone on their birthday?

What makes birthdays special?

When we are young, birthdays are full of promises and presents.

As we get a little older, we tend to approach a birthday with a little less gusto.

Some of us have even lied about just how many birthdays we have celebrated!

Here are some zingers to remind you that every birthday is worth celebrating and leaving a smile on your face.

So, take a deep breath, and laugh heartily. Save just enough air to blow out the candles on your cake!

We also have a collection of happy birthday quotes for friends on wishes and success.

Don’t forget also to read that.

Funny birthday quotes from actors and comedians

1. “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

Funny birthday quotes about getting old

2. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

Funny birthday quotes on living to be a hundred

3. “That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.” – Bob Hope

Funny birthday quotes about life

4. “When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.” – Joan Rivers

Funny birthday quotes about men and women

5. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

Funny birthday quotes about the secret of staying young

6. “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” – Bette Midler

Funny birthday quotes on life after 30

7. “The older you get the better you get, unless you are a banana.” – Betty White

Funny birthday quotes about the older you get

8. “The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” – Doris Day

Funny birthday quotes about middle age

9. “Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” – Billie Burke

Funny birthday quotes about aging

10. “Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Funny birthday quotes about cake

If you enjoy these quotes, read our collection of Rodney Dangerfield quotes and famous one-liners.

11. “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty Collins

Funny birthday quotes on aging

12. “If you survive long enough, you’re revered-rather like an old building.” – Katherine Hepburn

Funny birthday quotes that will make your day

13. “Eventually you reach a point where you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers

Funny birthday quotes on lying about your age

14. “Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!” – Kate Summers

Funny birthday quotes about memories

Also read these insightful age quotes for the young and young at heart.

Funny birthday quotes about cake, candles, and gifts

15. “A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.” – Erma Bombeck

Funny birthday quotes about friends

16. “All the world is a birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.” – George Harrison

Funny birthday quotes about the world

17. “Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.” – Steven Wright

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Funny birthday quotes about candles

18. “When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lit you know you are getting up there.” – Catherine Pulsifer

Funny birthday quotes to brighten your day

19. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain

Funny birthday quotes about mindset

20. “You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday!” – Catherine Pulsifer

Funny happy birthday quotes

21. “From our birthday, until we die, is but the winking of an eye.” – William Butler Yeats

Funny birthday quotes and sayings

22. “You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.” – Felix Severn

Funny happy birthday quotes on getting old

23. “I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So, I got a cake!” – Mitch Hedberg

Funny happy birthday quotes about candles

24. “For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier…I put them in my room and let them fight it out.” – Steven Wright

Funny birthday quotes from writers

If you’re enjoying these quotes, read our collection of Steven Wright quotes to make you laugh.

Funny birthday quotes to make your special day

25. “Just remember once you are over the hill, you start to pick up speed.” – Charles Schultz

Funny birthday quotes to inspire you

26. “We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Funny birthday quotes on becoming old

27. “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” — Ubie Blake

Funny birthday quotes about long life

28. “If we could be twice as young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.” — Euripedes

Funny birthday quotes that will make you laugh

29. “Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened.” — Jeniffer Yane

Funny birthday quotes and sayings that will make your day

30. “It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.” — Brigitte Bardot

Funny happy birthday quotes and sayings

Funny birthday quotes that will make you laugh out loud

31. ” A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” – Robert Frost

32. “Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.” – Ogden Nash

33. “This birthday when someone refers to your many years, you can tell them you are now a classic, and classics are priceless.” – Catherine Pulsifer

34. “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.” – Anonymous

35. “We must both, I’m afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars-more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” – C.S. Lewis

36. “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – H.V. Prochnow

37. “For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.” – John Glenn

38. “Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.” – Aziz Ansari

39. “I like birthdays because we celebrate with life with cakes. It’s so cool. Sometimes, when I see a baby, I’m like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I’m like the cake streak is over.” – Demetri Martin

40. “Birthdays are a great time to stop an appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room, so you don’t have to chase it.” – Greg Tamblyn

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41. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash

You might also like these birthday quotes celebrating life, age and friendships.

42. “It’s better to be over the hill than under it.” – Unknown

43. “You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.” – Irish Saying

44. “Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Danish Proverb

Other special and funny birthday quotes

45. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” – Golda Meir 

46. “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” – Charles Schulz

47. “Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” – Nicky Gumbel

48. “At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.” – Unknown

49. “It’s better to be one month older than one month late!” – Unknown

50. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Rev. Larry Lorenzoni

Funny Birthday Quotes To Have More Fun As You Celebrate That Special Day

51. “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” — Oprah

52. “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” — Ogden Nash

53. “I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.” — Francis Bacon

54. “A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.” — R. C. Ferguson

55. “Happy Birthday to you, we hope that all year you never feel blue.” — Marcia Goldlist

56. “They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.” — Malcolm Cowley

57. “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” — Tom Wilson

58. “Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.” — Robert Southey

59. “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.“ — Carl G. Jung

60. “Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty.” — Joan Rivers

Funny Birthday Quotes Perfect For a Birthday Card

61. “Don’t regret another birthday, the good news is that you are alive and can celebrate it.” — Catherine Pulsifer

62. “One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you’ve become harmless.” — Liz Smith

63. “Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.” – Unknown

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64. “I’m not aging, I’m marinating.” – Unknown

65. “Middle age is when a man is warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman.” – Unknown

66. “Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday and it said that I needed an upgrade.” – Unknown

67. “The good thing about getting older is if you don’t want to do something you can say, I’m too old to do that!” — Kate Summers

68. “As you get older, though, you realize there are fire extinguishers. You do have an ability to control the flames.” — Chaka Khan

69. “Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.” — Kin Hubbard

70. “You’ve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and you’re looking wonderful.” — Cardinal Spellman

Funny Birthday Quotes For A Friend

71. “May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.” — Frank Sinatra

72. “You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.” — Germaine Greer

73. “When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” — Gracie Allen

74. “It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.” — Ellen Glasgow

75. “When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.” — Steven Wright

76. “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” — Norman Wisdom

77. “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” — Maurice Chevalier

78. “The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.” — Oscar Wilde

79. “Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” — Dr. Seuss

80. “A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.” — Muhammad Ali

Which of these funny birthday quotes made your day

These funny birthday quotes have hopefully given you the inspiration for a worthy birthday card inscription.

Or maybe little sticky notes, one for each day, on the month leading up to someone’s birthday.

Maybe, you were feeling a little blue about getting older and needed a pick-me-up.

A birthday is the one day a year that we get to celebrate ourselves or our loved ones, and it should be enjoyed to the fullest extent possible!

Here are some final words of advice on birthdays: husbands, don’t get her an appliance of any kind (unless she asks), enjoy the cake on your special day, and laugh a lot at whatever life threw at you the previous year!

Did you enjoy these funny birthday quotes and sayings?

Which of the quotes is your favorite?

Tell us in the comment section below.

We would love to hear all about it.

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor
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