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Hilarious Schitt’s Creek Quotes From the Emmy-Winning Comedy

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The award-winning Canadian sitcom Schitt’s Creek has received critical and commercial acclaim throughout its six-season run.

Below are 50 of the best Schitt’s Creek quotes to help you relive the hilarious adventures of the Rose family. 

What’s your favorite episode of Schitt’s Creek? 

Schitt’s Creek documents the riches-to-rags story of the wealthy Rose family.

They include former CEO of a video rental store company Johnny, former soap opera star Moira, along with their two adult children David and Alexis.

Over the show’s 5-year run, Schitt’s Creek has won a long list of awards including multiple Primetime Emmy Awards and Canadian Screen Awards. 

Dive back into the lives of the Rose family and reminisce below!

Don’t forget to also check out these classic The Sandlot quotes from Ham, Smalls, and more.

Check out our most popular quote article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily inspiration.

If you enjoy this collection, check out our inspirational quotes category page.

Schitt’s Creek quotes from Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy)

1. “Tweet us on Facebook!” – Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about tweet us on Facebook

You will also enjoy our article on Casablanca quotes.

2. “You see, I’ve got a closet full of suits, but, uh, I don’t wanna be taken advantage of because I’m overdressed, I need to look like I don’t have money.” – Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about I've got a closet full of suits

You will also enjoy our article on rose quotes.

3. “Talk to the hand, son, because the ears are no longer working.” – Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about talk to the hand

4. “Well, David, these kids of parties take time and planning. Now, when I planned that Casablanca-themed party for your mother’s 40th, I had to quarantine the camels for a month.” – Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy)

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Schitt’s Creek quotes about take time and planning

5. “Hope you’re enjoying the cinnamon buns and vodka. We thought it was festive in a Scandinavian sort of way.” – Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about hope you’re enjoying the cinnamon buns and vodka

6. “You know, I remember when Alexis was just a chubby-faced little girl racing around the house in that banned baby walker, and now she’s spending time In a drug lord’s trunk?” – Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes alexis was just a chubby-faced little girl racing around the house

7. “A hashtag? Is that two words?” – Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about a hashtag? Is that two words

Schitt’s Creek quotes from David Rose (Dan Levy)

8. “I’m trying very hard not to connect with people right now.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about I’m trying very hard not to connect with people right now

9. “I haven’t bedazzled anything since I was 22.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about I haven't bedazzled anything since I was 22

10. “Very uninterested in that opinion.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about very uninterested in that opinion

11. The North Korean army could not keep my mother under control when it comes to event planning.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about the North Korean army could not keep my mother under control when it comes to event planning

12. “Like Beyonce, I excel as a solo artist and my mom dressed me well into my teens.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about excel as a solo artist

13. “I’m starting to feel like I’m trapped in an Avril Lavigne lyric here.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about I’m trapped in an Avril Lavigne lyric here

14. “I could not be more at one with nature. I do Coachella every year.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about I could not be more at one with nature

15. “I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit, and falling asleep early.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit and falling asleep early

16. “The idea of me life coaching another human being should scare you. A lot.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about the idea of me life coaching another human being should scare you

17. “You might want to rethink the nightgown first — there’s a whole Ebenezer Scrooge thing happening. My best to Bob Cratchet.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

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Schitt’s Creek quotes about to rethink the nightgown first

18. “Come in, come in. Make yourself at home. There’s nothing in the fridge, and I marked the booze so I’ll know if you touch it!” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about make yourself at home

19. “It’s just one long string of really bad luck and I don’t know what kind of carnage I inflicted in my past life to deserve it. I must have been Dracula or a spin instructor or something.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about long string of really bad luck

20. “He told me he doesn’t want my help, so I’m just going to play the supportive partner and watch him fail.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about he told me he doesn’t want my help, so I'm just going o play the supportive partner and watch him fail

21. “Fall off a bridge, please.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about fall off a bridge, please

22. “I’ve been burned so many times I’m like the human equivalent of the inside of a roasted marshmallow.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about i'm like the human eqivalent of the inside of a roasted marshmallow

23. “I was perfectly fine not trusting people. Not trusting people is what I’m used to. It is my comfort zone.” – David Rose (Dan Levy)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about I was perfectly fine not trusting people

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Schitt’s Creek quotes from Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

24. “Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about I'd kill for a good coma right now

25. “A heavy salad might as well be a casserole.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Schitt’s Creek quotes about a heavy salad might as well be a casserole

What do you love about your favorite TV shows? 

Schitt’s Creek is a master at juggling gut-busting comedy along with emotional drama.

You may have come for the funny jokes, but you’ll stay for the friendships, romance, and familial bonds that Schitt’s Creek highlights. 

Although the Rose family may seem larger-than-life, those deep connections are what make the show universally relatable.

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That’s why audiences keep coming back for more, time and time again.

Be sure to share these quotes with your favorite Schitt’s Creek fan! 

Which of these Schitt’s Creek quotes and sayings is your favorite?

Which TV show should we feature next on Everyday Power?

Let us know your thoughts below!

Nia Simone McLeod
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