25 Lewis Grizzard Quotes from the Humorous Writer

If you enjoy humorous writing, you will love these Lewis Grizzard quotes!

Lewis McDonald Grizzard Jr. was born in Fort Benning, Georgia, in 1946 and died in Atlanta, Georgia, in 1994 at 47.

Grizzard was a talented humorist and author who became the youngest ever executive sports writer when he took the job for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution at the age of 23.

Although Lewis loved sports, he is best known for his work as a writer for the humor/life section of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

After returning to Atlanta from his horrible experience in Chicago, he took this position and used his unique humor and understanding of the South to communicate with his readers.

Additionally, he was a lecturer and stand-up comedian.

He even appeared as an actor on the show Designing Women in 1988.

Look at these Lewis Grizzard Quotes to learn more about the famous writer.

Lewis Grizzard Quotes About the South

Lewis Grizzard loved the South and could explain the essence of the South in his works.

1. “There is no such thing as being too Southern.” — Lewis Grizzard

2. “The South is the last place with a sense of place.” — Lewis Grizzard

3. “Never order barbeque in a place that also serves quiche.” — Lewis Grizzard

4. “If I ever get back to Georgia, I’m gonna nail my feet to the ground.” — Lewis Grizzard

5. “It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.” — Lewis Grizzard

6. “Giving Northerners unbuttered instant grits is an old remedy for getting rid of tourists.” — Lewis Grizzard

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7. “‘Redneck’ has been terribly abused as a term. Where I come from, a redneck was a farmer who worked the fields all day and got his neck sunburned.” — Lewis Grizzard

8. “I love the Waffle House. The food is consistent, they don’t serve anything you can’t pronounce, and the grease in the air cuts down on the amount of mousse I must put in my hair to keep my GQ look.” — Lewis Grizzard

9. “Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.” — Lewis Grizzard

10. “I want my chicken fried, gravy on my steak, and I want my green beans cooked and my tomatoes served raw. Too many fancy restaurants serve their green beans raw, and then they cook their tomatoes – and give you some sort of hard, dark bread with it.” — Lewis Grizzard

Funny Lewis Grizzard Quotes

Check out these funny Lewis Grizzard quotes!

11. “Shoot low, boys. They’re ridin’ Shetland ponies.” — Lewis Grizzard

12. “I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.” — Lewis Grizzard

13. “Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did, somebody else would own the orchard.” — Lewis Grizzard

14. “On a New York subway, you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.” — Lewis Grizzard

15. “I don’t know how I do it, but I’ve written about everything. I’ve written about my shoes.” — Lewis Grizzard

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16. “You can write the best column in the world on Monday, and it does you absolutely no good on Tuesday.” — Lewis Grizzard

17. “There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.” — Lewis Grizzard

More Lewis Grizzard Quotes

Enjoy some more of Grizzard’s most classic quotes.

18. “Springtime is the land awakening.” — Lewis Grizzard

19. “I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.” — Lewis Grizzard

20. “Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.”— Lewis Grizzard

21. “You call to a dog, and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please.” — Lewis Grizzard

22. “The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one.” — Lewis Grizzard

23. “Never tell a woman she doesn’t look good in some article of clothing she has just purchased.” — Lewis Grizzard

24. “Things are more complex today, and I think humor has changed a great deal. People are more sensitive today.” — Lewis Grizzard

25. “The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.” — Lewis Grizzard

Lewis Grizzard’s Personal Life

Grizzard’s father abandoned him and his mother shortly after his birth as his father had post-traumatic stress disorder after his war experiences.

He was divorced three times and died from heart surgery shortly after he married his fourth wife.

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Although Lewis Grizzard battled alcoholism and could be tough to deal with, he was a very talented writer that made a mark with many people that read his work.

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