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Maddening Mad Hatter Quotes to Make You Laugh

Looking for the best Mad Hatter quotes?

The Mad Hatter is one of the most unique characters in literary history! Lewis Carroll introduced the world to Alice in Wonderland in 1865. The young girl falls through a rabbit hole, where she meets several interesting characters, one of them being The Hatter. Since then, there have been many renditions of the story.

Hit TV show Once Upon a Time gave The Mad Hatter a new backstory. Tim Burton’s version had many whacky things to say. An interesting thing to note is that Carroll never referred to the character as The Mad Hatter; he was simply The Hatter.

The phrase ‘mad as a hatter’ had already been around before Carroll’s work, and the character was clearly crazy, so it stuck. If you wonder what some of the maddest things The Hatter has said are, then check out these 43 Mad Hatter quotes.

Marvelously Mad, Mad Hatter quotes

1. “I want a clean cup,′ interrupted the Hatter: `let’s all move one place on.′”— Mad Hatter

2. “If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?” ― Lewis Carroll

3. Mad Hatter: “Have I gone mad?” 

Alice: “I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.” ― Tim Burton

4. “Of course you’re here, in my- sanctum sanctorum. You always have been. You always will be. You’re the Nonsense in my head that mustn’t be ignored. You’re the piece of me that maddens everyone, my sister the most.” The Hatter gave her a tired smile and said nothing- which might have been the wisest thing he ever said.” ― Liz Braswell

5. “Clean cup, clean cup! Move down!” — Mad Hatter

6. “Yes, yes, but you would have to be half-mad to dream me up.” — Mad Hatter

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7. [Referring to the White Knight] “OK, he’s as mad as a box of frogs.” — Mad Hatter

8. “There is a place, like no place on earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger. Some say, to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter. Which, luckily, I am.” — Mad Hatter

Mischievous Mad Hatter quotes

9. “You mean you can’t take less. It’s very easy to take more than nothing.” — Mad Hatter

10.  [He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.] “Your hair wants cutting.” — Mad Hatter

11. “Why is a raven like a writing-desk?”

“Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

“No, I give it up,” Alice replied: “what’s the answer?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea.” — Mad Hatter

12. “My response to that is both profound and meaningful: get your hair cut!” — Mad Hatter

13. “Why is it you’re always too small or too tall?” — Mad Hatter

14. “Down with the bloody Red Queen!” — Mad Hatter

15. “Egad, you learn something new every day. Make a note of that, Marchy, it might come in useful.” — Mad Hatter

16. Alice: “Who are you?”

Mad Hatter: “A friend. I hope.” — Mad Hatter

17. “Pieces of paper! *whispers* Pointless.” — Mad Hatter

18. “Not the same thing a bit! You might just as well say that, I see what I eat, is the same thing as I eat what I see!” — Mad Hatter

Timeless Mad Hatter quotes

19. “If you knew Time as well as I do, you wouldn’t talk about wasting it. It’s him.” — Mad Hatter

20. “Ah! that accounts for it. He won’t stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he’d do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o’clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you’d only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!” — Mad Hatter

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21. “No wonder you’re late. Why this watch is exactly two days slow.” — Mad Hatter

22. “Two days wrong!” I told you butter wouldn’t suit the works!” — Mad Hatter

23. “Yes, yes. And when you come to the end… STOP. See?” — Mad Hatter

24. “Yes, that’s it! *sigh* It’s always tea time.” — Mad Hatter

25. “The last uhm, the last time a girl called Alice came here from your world, she brought down the whole House of Cards. Oh yeah. Made quite an impression. Although, it was 150 years ago. It can’t be the same girl. Oysters don’t even live that long.” — Mad Hatter

26. “Trust me. I know a thing or two about liking people, and in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, ‘like’ turns into ‘what was his name again?” — Mad Hatter

So ‘much’ Mad Hatter quotes

27. “You used to be much more…’muchier.’ You’ve lost your muchness.” — Mad Hatter

28. “Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.” — Mad Hatter

29. “When that day comes I shall futterwacken… vigorously.” — Mad Hatter

30. “You can draw water out of a water-well,” said the Hatter; “so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well—eh, stupid?”  — Mad Hatter

31. “I’ve been considering words that start with the letter M. Moron. Mutiny. Murder. Mmm-malice.” — Mad Hatter

32. Alice: “This is impossible.” 

Mad Hatter: “Only if you believe it is.” — Mad Hatter

33. Alice: “Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” Mad Hatter: “That is an excellent practice.” — Mad Hatter

34. “Personal remarks are rude?” — Mad Hatter

35. “What’s the matter, my dear, don’t you care for tea?” — Mad Hatter

36. “The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame, Jaws that bait and claws that catch, Beware the Jabberwock, my son, The frumious Bandersnatch He took his vorpal sword in hand The vorpal blade went snicker-snack He left it dead, and with its head, he went galumphing back. It’s all about you, you know.” — Mad Hatter

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37. “Mustard! Yes, mu- MUSTARD? Don’t let’s be silly! Lemon, that’s different…” — Mad Hatter

Hat quotes from the Mad Hatter

38. “I keep them to sell. I’ve none of my own. I’m a hatter.” — Mad Hatter

39. Mad Hatter: “Your carriage, my lady.”

Alice: “A hat?”

Mad Hatter: “Of course. Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute best way to travel is by hat. Have I made a rhyme?” — Mad Hatter

40. “What a regrettably large head you have. I would very much like to hat it!” — Mad Hatter

41. “What is the hatter with me?” — Mad Hatter

42. “No. Because I’m always there when they pass the hat, so to speak.” — Mad Hatter

43. [the Executioner tries to take off the hat of the Mat Hatter at the beheading platform] “I’d like to keep it on.” — Mad Hatter

Did you enjoy these Mad Hatter quotes?

Interestingly, Carrol was surrounded by hatters growing up, as the chief trade in Stockport was hatting. The character that The Hatter is based on, however, sold furniture and not hats.

The man’s name was Theophilus Carter, and he was somewhat eccentric. It is rumored that Carter invented the ‘Alarm Clock Bed,’ a maddening device that woke the sleeping occupant by dumping them in a cold water vat.

That sounds exactly like something that the character would own, in case his watch failed! I wish that had made it into the book! 

Which version of The Mad Hatter is your favorite? Do you have favorite Mad Hatter quotes and lines you would like to share? Feel free to leave your answers in the comment section below!

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor
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