25 Moira Rose Quotes From the Matriarch of Schitt’s Creek

Moira Rose is the off-kilter mom of Schitt’s Creek’s Rose family.

To see some of her funniest moments throughout the series, read the Moira Rose quotes below. 

What’s your favorite scene featuring Moira Rose? 

Schitt’s Creek’s Moira Rose is an ex-soap star who’s well-known for her role as Vivian Blake on Sunrise Bay.

She’s married to ex-video store CEO Johnny Rose and has two children with him, David and Alexis.

Moira Rose is portrayed by actress Catherine O’Hara.

O’Hara has received multiple awards for her portrayal of Moira Rose.

They include an ACTRA Award for Best Performance – Female and a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. 

Get in a good laugh by checking out the hilarious quotes below! 

Don’t forget to also check out these hilarious Schitt’s Creek quotes from the Emmy-Winning comedy.

Check out our most popular quote article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily inspiration.

Our inspirational quotes category page has all of our motivational quotes for all the different areas of life.

Hilarious Moira Rose quotes

1. “As much as I would love to contribute to the population growth of this town by way of teen pregnancies I must decline.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

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2. “I didn’t like the matchy-matchy skirt and blazer. No, she looked like an aging stewardess from a Latvian airline.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

3. “What you did was impulsive, capricious and melodramatic, but it was also wrong.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

4. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but is this car your home?” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

5. “John, how was I to know you were in peril? You keep everything inside, like a bashful clam!” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

6. “Fear not, she hath risen!” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

7. “Children, keep an eye on these bags. Apparently, in hell, there’s no bellman!”  – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

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8. “I won’t wear anything with an adhesive backing.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

9. “There’s nothing here but hot singles in my area.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

10. “Thank you for your pair of pennies.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

11. “This place is almost charming. Very rustic cottage… I was half expecting early Unabomber.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

12. “I can’t feel my tongue. But I know it’s there because I’m talking.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

13. “We’re all pitching in these days, dear. Like communists or non-union actors.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

14. “Alexis, don’t be ridiculous. That’s exactly the kind of paranoia that makes me wary of spending time with you.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

15. “Sadly it’s not custom this time around, Alexis. Mommy had to shop off the rack. Fortunately, I discovered something called a promo code.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

16. “Who put a picture of a ghost on my desk?” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

17. “David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

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Relatable Moira Rose quotes 

18. “A heavy salad might as well be a casserole.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

19. “Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up!” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

20. “Let’s all pray we don’t wake up!” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

21. “Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

22. “I manned that front desk with the vigor of a wartime radio operator.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

23. “When one of us shines, all of us shine.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

24. “This wine is awful. Get me another glass.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

25. “The world is falling apart around us and I’m dying inside.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

What do you love the most about Moira Rose?

Moira Rose’s hilarious personality quirks always keep me laughing.

For example, I love her unconventional vocabulary.

She’s always using these rare, five-dollar words that have me chuckling while I Google their meaning.

These words always add an extra dash of drama, which probably connects back to her soap opera roots. 

As a person who has their fair share of wigs, I love her attachment to her wigs as well.

Often, her wig steals the scene before she even gives her line.

Moira Rose will definitely go into the hall of fame as one of the funniest TV moms ever. 

Which of these Moira Rose quotes and lines is your favorite?

Who should we feature next on Everyday Power?

Let us know below!