25 Moira Rose Quotes From the Matriarch of Schitt’s Creek

Moira Rose is the off-kilter mom of Schitt’s Creek’s Rose family.

To see some of her funniest moments throughout the series, read the Moira Rose quotes below. 

What’s your favorite scene featuring Moira Rose? 

Schitt’s Creek’s Moira Rose is an ex-soap star who’s well-known for her role as Vivian Blake on Sunrise Bay.

She’s married to ex-video store CEO Johnny Rose and has two children with him, David and Alexis.

Moira Rose is portrayed by actress Catherine O’Hara.

O’Hara has received multiple awards for her portrayal of Moira Rose.

They include an ACTRA Award for Best Performance – Female and a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. 

Get in a good laugh by checking out the hilarious quotes below! 

Don’t forget to also check out these hilarious Schitt’s Creek quotes from the Emmy-Winning comedy.

Check out our most popular quote article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily inspiration.

Our inspirational quotes category page has all of our motivational quotes for all the different areas of life.

Hilarious Moira Rose quotes

1. “As much as I would love to contribute to the population growth of this town by way of teen pregnancies I must decline.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Hilarious Moira Rose quotes

You will also enjoy our article on rose quotes.

2. “I didn’t like the matchy-matchy skirt and blazer. No, she looked like an aging stewardess from a Latvian airline.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about the matchy-matchy skirt and blazer

3. “What you did was impulsive, capricious and melodramatic, but it was also wrong.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

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Moira Rose quotes on what you did was impulsive

4. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but is this car your home?” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about don’t take this the wrong way

5. “John, how was I to know you were in peril? You keep everything inside, like a bashful clam!” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about everything inside

6. “Fear not, she hath risen!” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about fear not, she hath risen

7. “Children, keep an eye on these bags. Apparently, in hell, there’s no bellman!”  – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about children, keep an eye on these bags

You will also enjoy our article on Drew Berrymore quotes.

8. “I won’t wear anything with an adhesive backing.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about I won’t wear anything with an adhesive backing

9. “There’s nothing here but hot singles in my area.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about there's nothing here but hot singles in my area

10. “Thank you for your pair of pennies.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about thank you for your pair of pennies

11. “This place is almost charming. Very rustic cottage… I was half expecting early Unabomber.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about this place is almost charming

12. “I can’t feel my tongue. But I know it’s there because I’m talking.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about I can’t feel my tongue

13. “We’re all pitching in these days, dear. Like communists or non-union actors.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about like communists or non-union actors

14. “Alexis, don’t be ridiculous. That’s exactly the kind of paranoia that makes me wary of spending time with you.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about Alexis

15. “Sadly it’s not custom this time around, Alexis. Mommy had to shop off the rack. Fortunately, I discovered something called a promo code.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about promo code

16. “Who put a picture of a ghost on my desk?” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about who put a picture of a ghost on my desk

17. “David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican

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Relatable Moira Rose quotes 

18. “A heavy salad might as well be a casserole.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Relatable Moira Rose quotes

19. “Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up!” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about gossip is the devil's telephone. best to just hang up

20. “Let’s all pray we don’t wake up!” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about let's all pray we don't wake up

21. “Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about oh, I'd kill for a good coma right now

22. “I manned that front desk with the vigor of a wartime radio operator.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes that front desk with the vigor of a wartime radio operator

23. “When one of us shines, all of us shine.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about when one of us shines, all of us shine

24. “This wine is awful. Get me another glass.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about this wine is awful, get me another glass

25. “The world is falling apart around us and I’m dying inside.” – Moira Rose (Catherine O’Hara)

Moira Rose quotes about the world is falling apart around us and I’m dying inside

What do you love the most about Moira Rose?

Moira Rose’s hilarious personality quirks always keep me laughing.

For example, I love her unconventional vocabulary.

She’s always using these rare, five-dollar words that have me chuckling while I Google their meaning.

These words always add an extra dash of drama, which probably connects back to her soap opera roots. 

As a person who has their fair share of wigs, I love her attachment to her wigs as well.

Often, her wig steals the scene before she even gives her line.

Moira Rose will definitely go into the hall of fame as one of the funniest TV moms ever. 

Which of these Moira Rose quotes and lines is your favorite?

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  1. G

    December 16, 2020 at 4:34 PM

    What about “We mustn’t count our poultry before it has incubated”

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