These Mrs. Doubtfire quotes will remind you that help is on the way.
Mrs. Doubtfire is a comedy-drama movie starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, and Pierce Brosnan. This beloved film has earned a spot on the “AFI’s 100 Years…100 Laughs” list and Bravo’s “100 Funniest Movies of All Time” list. These Mrs. Doubtfire quotes will brighten your day and make you smile.
In this outrageous movie, Robin Williams dresses up as a nanny so that he can continue having a relationship with his children after his recent divorce. As this collection of quotes shows, the film is filled with lots of laughs along with many touching moments.
Are you a Robin Williams fan?
Reading these Mrs. Doubtfire quotes is a great way to relive some of his funniest lines and comedic scenes.
These Mrs. Doubtfire quotes were all said by Robin Williams. Share them with someone who loves the movie and the actor.
Mrs. Doubtfire quotes from your favorite movie
1. “No it’s not a job, it’s a joy being your father, I don’t have to play the part of your father, I am your father, I may act like a fool, but I am your father, okay?” – Mrs. Doubtfire
2. “I’m a hip old granny who can hip-hop, bebop, dance til ya drop and yo-yo, make a wicked cup of cocoa.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
3. “In regards to my behavior, I can only plead insanity, because ever since my children were born, the moment I looked at them, I was crazy about them. And once I held them, I was hooked. I’m addicted to my children, sir. I love them with all my heart, and the idea of someone telling me I can’t be with them, I can’t see them every day… it’s like someone saying I can’t have air. I can’t live without air, and I can’t live without them. Listen, I would do anything. I just want to be with them. You know I need that, sir. We have a history. And I just— they mean everything to me, and they need me as much as I need them. So please, don’t take my kids away from me. Thank you.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
4. “My first day as a woman and I’m getting hot flashes.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
5. “Euphegenia Doubtfire, dear. I specialize in the education and entertainment of children.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
6. “Did you ever wish you could sometimes freeze-frame a moment in your day, look at it and say this is not my life?’” – Mrs. Doubtfire
7. “Dear Miranda, wake up and smell the coffee. Can’t you see the lust in that man’s eyes?” – Mrs. Doubtfire
8. “Oh, sir. I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff, Did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting. I’ll get them, sir. Don’t worry.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
9. “Help is on the way, Dear!” – Mrs. Doubtfire
10. “Once the father of your children is out of the picture, the only solution is total and lifelong celibacy.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
Mrs. Doubtfire quotes to make you smile
11. “Touch me again and I’ll drown you, you bastard.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
12. “Dear, I always say, a flawed husband is better than none at all.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
13. “Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics?” – Mrs. Doubtfire
14. “Sorry I’m late. After all those scotches I had to piss like a racehorse.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
15. “God bless you. You know I’m feeling fabulous because I met this beautiful Cuban. Every night is like the Bay of Pigs.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
16. “Well, we’ll move. That way our problems won’t follow us.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
17. “Carpe dentum. Seize the teeth.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
18. “Your Mercedes, dear, you own that big expensive car out there? Oh, dear. Well, they say a man who has to buy a big car like that is trying to compensate for smaller genitals.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
19. “Broke my bag, the bastard. Ooh!” – Mrs. Doubtfire
20. “Well, I hope you’re up for a little competition. She’s got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It’s her own personal jackhammer. She could break sidewalk with that thing. She uses it and the lights dim, it’s like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn’t chipped her teeth.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
Mrs. Doubtfire quotes that will open your heart
21. “All my love to you, Poppet.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
22. “Hello, boys and girls, today we’re gonna talk about dinosaurs. It’s a dino-sorus line!” – Mrs. Doubtfire
23. “This isn’t a way of life; it’s just a job. I don’t go to old-lady bars or anything like that after work, you know. It’s just the only way I can see you guys every day.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
24. “The fact the Pudgy the Parrot has a cigarette shoved into his mouth is morally irresponsible!” – Mrs. Doubtfire
25. “If there’s love, Dear, those are the ties that bind.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
26. “I hope you bring cocktail sauce. She’s got the crabs, dear, and I don’t mean Dungeness.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
27. “Oh, as I hold this cold meat, I’m reminded of Winston.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
28. “I just want to know one thing. Are your kids well-behaved? Or do they need like, a few light slams every now and then?” – Mrs. Doubtfire
29. “Ooooh, you wicked, wicked monkey!” – Mrs. Doubtfire
30. “There was a time when I found myself funny, but today you have proven me wrong. Thank you.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Fleabag quotes that relate to every aspect of your day-to-day life.
Mrs. Doubtfire quotes to brighten your day
31. “Aw I’m so sorry to frighten you, dear, I must look like a yeti in this getup!” – Mrs. Doubtfire
32. “I admire that honesty, Natalie, that’s a noble quality. Never lose that, because it often disappears with age, or entering politics.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
33. “As you can see, I can’t stay with you, dear. I’m melting like a snow cone in Phoenix.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
34. “Oh, my dear Katie. You know, some parents, when they’re angry, they get along much better when they don’t live together. They don’t fight all the time, and they can become better people, and much better mummies and daddies for you. And sometimes they get back together. And sometimes they don’t, dear. And if they don’t, don’t blame yourself. Just because they don’t love each other anymore, doesn’t mean that they don’t love you.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
35. “Could you make me a woman?” – Mrs. Doubtfire
36. “Isn’t this posh? I’ll bet it’s very exclusive, probably need a credit reference just to get in the pool.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
37. “Well, it’s voiceover. It’s an interior monologue. Maybe even the voice of God, that’s even better.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
38. “Yo I’m a Raptor doin’ what I can gonna eat everything till the appearance of man. Yo-yo yo, see me, I’m living below the soil, I’ll be back but I’m comin’ as oil!” – Mrs. Doubtfire
39. “Look, Nattie. That’s called liposuction.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
40. “They should have a little disclaimer that says “Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Watching This Show”. Incredible. This guy used to put me to sleep when I was a kid. Amazing. He has the warmth of a snow pea. He makes Mister Rogers look like Mick Jagger.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
More Mrs. Doubtfire quotes
41. “I hope you don’t mind me being a tad rude, but… how was he? You know, on a scale of 1 to 10?” – Mrs. Doubtfire
42. “So what do you want me to do? You want me to pretend like everything’s all right? Put on a happy face? Smile? Jesus, Miranda. You took my children away from me. I can only see them now with supervision. Some woman who comes and watches me with the kids like I’m some sort of deviant. If I try to hug ’em, she wonders why. You know what that’s like? You just sat there in that courtroom, you knew the truth, you didn’t say a word and you let that judge pass that despicable sentence.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
43. “Yeah, my name is Elsa Emmelman, and I want to know how many children do you have.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
44. “Oh, I thought I saw Clint Eastwood, that would make my day! He is such a stud muffin!” – Mrs. Doubtfire
45. “If you like that handsome rugged type. But personally, I prefer short, furry, and funny.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
46. “There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country – and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months… even years at a time.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of grandparent quotes about the power of family.
47. “Newspaper? Are you taking one of those personal ads: DWF seeks WWM with BMW into light B&D?” – Mrs. Doubtfire
48. “You’re just trying to erase it like it doesn’t exist. You’re trying to destroy the fact that we’re a family.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
49. “It wouldn’t be real. You’d know, you’d know we’d be acting. You can’t act 24 hours a day, I’m not that good an actor, today proved that. No, life’s more real and wonderful and acting is nice, it’s a job.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
50. “They always say the key to a solid marriage is laughter.” – Mrs. Doubtfire
What are your favorite Mrs. Doubtfire script quotes that make you laugh?
Even if you’ve never seen the movie before, these Mrs. Doubtfire quotes will put a big smile on your face. It’s impossible not to see the humor in these Robin Williams lines.
This movie is a classic that many people grew up watching and loving. You will be transported back to the times you watched the film when you read these quotes.
One of the main reasons people love Mrs. Doubtfire is because it has a great script and cast. This masterpiece will open up your heart while also making you laugh until you cry.
This collection of Mrs. Doubtfire quotes contains the best lines from the movie. Share these quotes with your friends and family to remind them about the greatness of Robin Williams and this special movie.
What are your favorite Mrs. Doubtfire quotes and lines from the funny Robin Williams movie? Let us know in the comment section below.
January 18, 2021 7:00 AM EST