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Fleabag Quotes on Love, Feminism, and More

The British comedy-drama Fleabag offers a raw, honest look into one woman’s peculiar life in modern London.

Below is a selection of Fleabag quotes to relate to every aspect of your day-to-day life. 

What is your favorite episode of Fleabag? 

Premiering in 2016, Fleabag is based on creator, writer, and starring actress Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s popular one-woman play.

The show has spent two seasons on the air, first released on BBC and shown in the USA through Prime Video.

Fleabag has received audience praise as well as critical acclaim. Many praise the acting ability of the lead actors and actresses as well as its eccentric and unique writing. 

Check out the quotes from the Prime Video featured comedy Fleabag below. And after you’re done reading, be sure to also check out our collection of tear-jerking This Is Us quotes.

Fleabag quotes on love and relationships

1. “With all the love I have for her. I don’t know where to put it now.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

2. “We’re not friends. We are sisters. Get your own friends.” – Claire (Sian Clifford)

3. “People are all we’ve got. So grab the night by its nipples and go flirt with someone.” – Belinda (Kristen Scott Thomas)

4. “The only person I’d run through an airport for is you.” – Claire (Sian Clifford)

5. “I want someone to tell me what to believe in, who to vote for, who to love and how to tell them.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

6. “Celibacy is a lot less complicated than romantic relationships.” – The Priest (Andrew Scott)

7. “Don’t make me hate you. Loving you’s painful enough.” – Harry (Hugh Skinner)

8. “I’m not obsessed with sex. I just can’t stop thinking about it. The performance of it. The awkwardness of it. The drama of it.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

9. “I think you know how to love better than any of us. That’s why you find it all so painful.” – Fleabag’s dad (Bill Paterson)

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10. “Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope. I think what they mean is, when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope.” – The Priest (Andrew Scott)

11. “Love is awful. It’s painful. It’s frightening. It makes you doubt yourself, judge yourself, distance yourself from the other people in your life.” – The Priest (Andrew Scott)

12. “I’ll always love you but I just can’t take it anymore. I don’t hate you; I’m scared for you.” – Harry (Hugh Skinner)

13. “After all, sex got us all here. Sex brings life.” – Godmother (Olivia Colman)

14. “People just disappear because it spooks them to be around someone in pain.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

15. “I talk and drink and laugh and give them Bibles, and hope they eventually leave me alone.” – The Priest (Andrew Scott)
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of This Is Us quotes from the award-winning series.

Fleabag quotes on self-esteem

16. “Hair is everything. We’re meant to think that it’s a symbol of power, that it’s a symbol of fertility.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

17. “If you rid a woman of her head and limbs you can’t really expect her to do anything other than roll around.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

18. “Either everyone feels like this and they’re just not talking about it or I am completely fucking alone.” – Fleabag  (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

19. “You’ll always be fine. You’ll always be interesting, with your quirky cafe and your dead best friend. You just make me feel like I’ve failed.” – Claire (Sian Clifford)

20. “People make mistakes. That’s why they put rubbers at the end of pencils.” – Fleabag  (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

21. “I took half an hour trying to look nice and I ended up looking amazing.” – Fleabag  (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

Also read these captivating This Is Us quotes.

Funny fleabag quotes

22. “It’s like having sex with a protractor.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

23. “Tits don’t get you anywhere these days. Trust me.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

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24. “Yeah, he’s horrifically hot. You’re gonna puke when you see him.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) 

25. “Chic” means boring. Don’t tell the French.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) 

26. “Don’t make me an optimist, you will ruin my life.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) 

27. “You don’t go through life with teeth like these, and not know when someone’s pretending.” – Bus Rodent (Jamie Demetriou)

28. “Father, we have a cupcake situation over here!” – Pam (Jo Martin) 

29. “I ate a sausage over there, thinking it was a prune. 15 years of vegetarianism, gone. Like bang, bang.” – Klare (Christian Hillborg)

30. “I’m not a bad guy. I just have a bad personality.” – Martin (Brett Gelman)

31. “I’d spend 40 days and 40 nights in that dessert.” – The Priest (Andrew Scott)

32. “Do I have a massive arsehole?” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

Other hilarious fleabag quotes 

33. “What do guinea pigs do?” – The Priest (Andrew Scott)

34. “My bottom dropped ages ago. My farts used to be like “pah!”. Now they’re just sort of fighting their way out.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) 

35. “If it’s any consolation, you look older than you are.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) 

36. “Let’s keep going, I saw some more stuff she’ll hate over there.” – Martin (Brett Gelman)
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Black Mirror quotes from the long-running series.

37. “I’ve, uhm, read through your application form. It says, you run a cafe for guinea pigs?” – Bank Manager (Hugh Dennis)

38. “If you mention the size of my office, I will scream.” – Claire (Sian Clifford)

39. “I can’t read a ‘Winnie the Pooh’ quote without crying.”  – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

40. “Sometimes I worry, I wouldn’t be such a feminist if I had bigger tits.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

41. “I look like a pencil.” – Claire (Sian Clifford)

42. “I’m a big reader with no friends.” – The Priest (Andrew Scott)

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43. “Is that a bassoon in your hand or are you just pleased to see me?” – Martin (Brett Gelman)

Don’t forget to also read these memorable Mean Girls quotes that will make your life more fetch.

Fleabag quotes on happiness

44. “Maybe happiness isn’t what you believe, but who you believe.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

45. “As long as I can wear it or eat it, I’m happy.” – Boo (Jenny Rainsford)

46. “I take all the negative emotions and just bottle them and bury them and they never come out. I’ve basically never been better.” – Claire (Sian Clifford)

Fleabag quotes on feminism

47. “I have a horrible feeling that I’m a greedy, perverted, selfish, apathetic, cynical, depraved, morally bankrupt, woman who can’t even call herself a feminist.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

48. “Women are born with pain built-in. We carry it within ourselves. Men have to seek it out.” – Belinda (Kristen Scott Thomas)

49. “Either she’s got her period or some serious sh*t has gone down.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

50. “Being proper and sweet and nice and pleasing is a fucking nightmare. It’s exhausting.” – Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge)

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Who’s your favorite character from Fleabag?

Aside from being ridiculously funny, Fleabag doesn’t shy away from being honest with its audience.

Feelings like sadness, anger, and frustration are brought to the forefront and showcased within its main cast.

Those raw emotions aren’t shied away from or glossed over, like many other modern television shows. 

If you are dealing with anything throughout your own life, don’t be afraid to let your feelings known. Nothing comes from keeping your emotions bottled up.

Seek comfort in those who you trust, and don’t forget to appreciate the funny moments in your day-to-day life. 

Is there a Fleabag quote that we missed? Tell us your favorite hilarious or heart-wrenching Fleabag quotes in the comment’s section.

Nia Simone McLeod
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