50 Norm Macdonald Quotes That Are Mindfully Hilarious

Check out these mindfully hilarious Norm Macdonald quotes.

Norm Macdonald is beloved by many fans because of his deadpan comedy style and poetry.

Tell us your favorite Norm Macdonald quote in the comment section below.

What are the benefits of reading these Norm Macdonald quotes?

One of the most celebrated Saturday Night Live alums, Macdonald had a successful career as a stand-up comedian, actor, poet, and writer.

Known for his appearances in over 20 movies and his ability to crack people up, he made jokes about regular mundane experiences that made life funnier.

He was a talented poet who created moving philosophical observations such as “Few people love with the violence they hate.”

Simple enough advice, but also a profound observation of how we are conditioned to believe hate is an action word and love is not.

His death reminds us that life is about more than net worth or how many people attend our funeral.

These Norm Macdonald quotes will:

  • offer you new perspectives on life’s challenges
  • give you a good laugh
  • remind you about what is important in life

Here are some of his most memorable quotes and observations.

Short Norm Macdonald quotes

1. “Few people love with the violence they hate.” Norm Macdonald

2. “The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.” Norm Macdonald

3. “If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.” Norm Macdonald

4. “He that searches for praise will often find contempt.” Norm Macdonald

5. “I’m not gay, so I don’t know much about Broadway musicals.” — Norm Macdonald

6. “Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.” Norm Macdonald

7. “Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.” Norm Macdonald

8. “Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.” Norm Macdonald

9. “You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.” Norm Macdonald

10. “I don’t know anything about politics. I wouldn’t put too much into my prediction on politics.” Norm Macdonald

Norm Macdonald quotes fears, talents, and other situations

11. “We often suffer more from our fears than from the dangers of our situation.” Norm Macdonald

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12. “Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!” Norm Macdonald

13. “Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.” Norm Macdonald

14. “I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.” Norm MacDonald

15. “They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.” Norm Macdonald

16. “There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is everything desirable, and that bad is even better than none.” Norm Macdonald

17. “Love is an artful arrangement of artless pretensions, whereby we labor to appear innocent in what we desire to be most cunning.” Norm Macdonald

18. “The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.” Norm Macdonald

19. “In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.” Norm Macdonald

Norm Macdonald comedy quotes

20. “Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.” Norm Macdonald

21. “If you cannot patiently bear correction, endeavor to avoid fault.” Norm Macdonald

22. “Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.” Norm Macdonald

23. “The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.” – Norm Macdonald

24. “Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.” Norm Macdonald

25. “Never raise expectations in others that you cannot realize: promise is less pleasing than disappointment is vexatious.” — Norm Macdonald

26. “My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don’t know. Probably died.” Norm Macdonald

27. “They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside, you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.” Norm Macdonald

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28. “When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.” Norm Macdonald

29. “After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she’s gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.” Norm Macdonald

Norm Macdonald SNL quotes

30. “We advise others better than ourselves.” Norm Macdonald

31. “Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.” Norm Macdonald

32. “Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.” Norm Macdonald

33. “RIP Amy Winehouse. We lost a true heroin addict today.” Norm Macdonald

34. “Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.” Norm Macdonald

35. “It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.” Norm Macdonald

36. “Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!” Norm Macdonald

37. “Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.” Norm Macdonald

38. “Yeah, man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.” — Norm Macdonald

39. “I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.” Norm Macdonald

40. “All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.” Norm Macdonald

Norm Macdonald quotes about a little of everything

41. “I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that.” Norm Macdonald

42. “Whenever I do theaters, I don’t like ‘em. I don’t think they’re right for stand-up.” Norm Macdonald

43. “It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.” Norm Macdonald

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44. “I have always loved Las Vegas. It’s a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.” Norm Macdonald

45. “I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can’t stay in the same place. People think you’re a loser.” Norm Macdonald

46. “If you’re watching a comedian on television and he’s making a political point, I would say he’s gotten too serious.” Norm Macdonald

47. “I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.” Norm Macdonald

48. “I’m a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don’t remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.” Norm Macdonald

49. “You’re trying your best to make people laugh; then, if you fail, they hate you. But your intent’s the same. It’s not like you’re trying to do evil to them.” Norm Macdonald

50. “There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.” Norm Macdonald

Final thoughts on Norm Macdonald

As an educator, I have often admired Macdonald’s observations about our youth.

He once noted, “There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is everything desirable, and that bad is even better than none.”

Parents and caregivers often remind young people of the potential dangers of keeping negative company.

However, this advice applies to all of us.

Who we surround ourselves with directly impacts our mental, physical, and emotional health.

Macdonald reminds us of the power of being content with ourselves and the practicality of carefully considering who we spend our time with.

A perfect example of Norm Macdonald’s comedy style is his now-famous “moth joke,” which highlights his deadpan style and witty delivery.

Unfortunately, in September 2021, Norm Macdonald died because of cancer-related complications.

However, his work lives on through his art and impact.

What is your favorite Norm Macdonald moment?

Let us know in the comments.

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