Our latest collection of The Goonies quotes that will take you on an adventure.
The Goonies is one of my husband’s favorite movies from the 80s, and if you are wondering if it is kid-friendly, the answer is yes! It is a wild, pirate-style treasure hunt movie filled with action, and the kids will probably love it!
However, there are a few drug references, and if your kids scare easily, then you might want to hold off. It is also inspiring and uplifting, so the kids will walk away having learned some life lessons. With that said, these The Goonies quotes, made my husband want to watch it again, so it’s fun for the nostalgic adults too! The Goonies is full of funny quotes from characters like Chunk and Mikey.
The movie, a 1985 Steven Spielberg film, is about a group of kids who live in the “Goon Docks” neighborhood of Astoria, Oregon. The kids are trying to figure out a way to stop the foreclosure of their homes when they discover an ancient treasure map.
Their adventure leads them to unearth the long-lost fortune of One-Eyed Willy, a legendary 17th-century pirate. Their journey is made more perilous because a family of criminals who want the treasure for themselves chases them.
Let these The Goonies quotes take you on an adventure, and keep reading to learn more about the film.
Don’t forget to also check out these ‘Friends’ quotes from the hit 90’s sitcom
The Goonies quotes and lines from Chunk
1. “OK, I’ll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee, and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog… when my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out!” — Chunk
2. “I’m not all alone in the dark. I like the dark. I love the dark.” — Chunk
3. “But I hate nature! I HATE nature!” — Chunk
4. “Hey! I bet you guys think I was going to drop it, huh? I know you would think that from good ol Chunk.” — Chunk
5. “Listen, Sheriff, I know I’ve jerked you around before, but this is for real now. I’m in the Fratellis’ basement, with this guy…” — Chunk
6. “Listen, okay? You guys’ll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!” — Chunk
7. “Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn’t come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.” — Chunk
8. “Sixteen thirty-two. What is that? A year?” — Chunk
9. “Man! You smell like Phys Ed!” — Chunk
10. “Okay, Mouth. I’ve taken all I can stand… and I can’t stand no more!” — Chunk
11. “Honest. We went over to Mikey’s dad’s place and we found this map that said that underneath this place there’s buried treasure.”— Chunk
12. Chunk: “Mikey, Mikey, this ain’t the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in.”
Mama Fratelli: “Why not?”
Chunk: “Because they might have daddy longlegs and, um… dead things, Mikey. DEAD THINGS!”
13. “Mikey, Mikey, come on, our parents are worried. It’s dinnertime. Why don’t we go home?” — Chunk
Famous The Goonies quotes from Mouth
14. [in Spanish] “The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second drawer. And the heroin goes in the bottom drawer. Always separate the drugs.” — Mouth
15. Stef: “Martin Sheen? That’s President Kennedy, you idiot!”
Mouth: “Well, same difference. I mean, he played Kennedy once.”
16. “[in Spanish] Translation – never go up there. It’s filled with Mr. Walsh’s sexual torture devices.” — Mouth
17. “[translating to Rosalita] If you do a bad job you’ll be locked in here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food or water.” — Mouth
18. “Yeah, and you looks are kind of pretty. When your face isn’t screwing it up.” — Mouth
19. “Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn’t come true. So I’m taking it back. I’m taking them all back.” — Mouth
20. “Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather’s pizza, right?” — Mouth
21. “First you gotta do the truffle shuffle.” — Mouth
22. “I want a good fettucini alfredo. I want a bottle of fettucine, a 1981.” — Mouth
23. “You know, I just want to say thank you. For offering to save my life.” — Mouth
24. “Chunk, I’m pretty much OD-ing on all your bullshit stories!” — Mouth
The Goonies quotes that will make you laugh
25. Data: “I’m setting booty traps.”
Stef: “You mean booby traps?”
Data: “THATS WHAT I SAID! BOOBY TRAPS! God. These Guys!”
26. “I’m gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!”
27. “You know your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn’t screwing it up.” — Stef
28. Mouth: “Is this supposed to be water?”
Mama Fratelli: “It’s wet, ain’t it? Drink it!”
29. Irene Walsh: “Brandon Walsh! If you don’t bring those kids back, I’m going to commit Harri Krishna!”
Brandon Walsh: “That’s Hari Kari, Ma!”
30. Chunk: “What’s all the stuff in the attic?”
Mikey: “It has something to do with my dad being the assistant curly, curny.”
Brandon Walsh: “[smacking Mikey on the back of the head] Curator.”
Mikey: “That’s what I said.”
31. Andy: “I can’t tell… if it’s an ‘A sharp’ or if it’s a ‘B flat’!”
Mikey: “Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we’ll all ‘B flat’!”
32. “You dork! If God made it like that, you’d all be pissing in your faces!” — Brandon Walsh
33. “You guys, I’m hungry. I know when my stomach growls there’s trouble.” — Chunk
The most memorable The Goonies quotes
34. “It’s okay, you’re a Goonie and Goonies always make mistakes… just don’t make any more.” — Mikey
35. Mikey: “What about the loot?”
Brandon Walsh: “What about our lives?”
36. “Home? What home? In a couple more hours, it ain’t gonna be home anymore. Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. We’ve got to.” — Mikey
37. Andy: “Do you think there’s really any treasure here?”
Mikey: “Andy this whole ship is a treasure.”
38. “Because these are somebody else’s wishes. They’re somebody else’s dreams.” — Stef
39. “Ruth! Ruth! Baby! Ruth!” — Sloth
40. Data: “Hey any of you guys ever hear of Detroit?”
Mouth: “Sointenly! Where Motown started. It’s also got the highest murder rate in the country.”
Data: “Well, let me tell you what. That’s where we’re going when we lose the house tomorrow.”
41. “Goonies never say die!” — Mikey
The Goonies quotes from Mikey
42. “Sorry, Dad, we had our hands on the future, but we gave it up just to save our own lives.” — Mikey
43. Mikey: “It was a retropactum!”
Brandon Walsh: “Retrospective!”
Mikey: “See! That’s what I said! You always contradict me… I know what I was saying. It was on the history of Astoria and these are the rejects!”
44. “What are you doing? It took him 376 lawn jobs to get that bike! That’s his most favorite thing in the world!” — Mikey
45. “Okay, this is the little boys’ room, and that cave over there is the little girls’ room.” — Mikey
46. “More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.” — Mikey
47. “Hi Willie. Oh, I’m Mike Walsh. You’ve been expecting me, haven’t you? Well, I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece… so far.” — Mikey
48. “We had a long comment, huh, Willie? You know something, Willie? You’re the first Goonie.” — Mikey
49. “Dad! Dad! It’s my marble bag. The Fratellis forgot to check it. I emptied out all of my marbles and put the jewels in. We don’t have to leave the boondocks!” — Mikey
50. “Don’t you realize? The next time you see the sky, it’ll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it’ll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what’s right for them. Because it’s their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it’s our time. It’s our time down here. That’s all over the second we ride up Troy’s bucket.” — Mikey
What are your favorite The Goonies quotes?
After surviving the Fratellis (the crime family) and several booby traps, the kids are successfully reunited with their parents on the shore of Astoria beach.
Of course, Mikey was able to snag some gems from the ship, The Inferno, and his dad tears up the foreclosure papers. While the Fratellis are hauled off by the police, the audience can see The Inferno being released from its curse and sailing off.
The movie was released theatrically on June 7, 1985, in the United States. It did well at the box office, grossing $124 million worldwide against a budget of $19 million. It has since become a cult film, where people like my husband will mock and twist your arm into watching it when they learn you haven’t seen it… In 2017, the Library of Congress selected the movie for preservation in the United States National Film Registry.
Are you a big fan of this 80s cult classic? Tell us your favorite The Goonies quotes and scenes in the comment section below.
June 15, 2021 7:00 AM EST