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Hilarious The Hangover Quotes About The Wolf Pack

The Hangover is one of the most popular comedy movies of the 2000s. The Hangover quotes below detail the incredible first adventure of Phil, Stu, and Alan. 

What’s the most memorable scene in The Hangover? 

The Hangover stars Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis as three friends who attend another friend’s bachelor party in Vegas.

After waking up the next morning with no memory of the previous night, they must find the missing groom to ensure the wedding goes as planned.

Along with being a box office hit, The Hangover received the Golden Globe Award for Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy in 2009. 

Hang out with the Wolf Pack by reading the hilarious quotes below! 

Don’t forget to also check out these Happy Gilmore quotes from Happy, Shooter, and more.

The Hangover quotes from Phil (Bradley Cooper) 

1. “Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.” –  Phil (Bradley Cooper) 

2. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’m a schoolteacher, I got a family, okay? I’m all for secrecy, but I’m not going to torch a f**king cop car.” – Phil (Bradley Cooper) 

3. “It’s rock, paper, scissors. There’s nothing more fair.” – Phil (Bradley Cooper) 

4. “You know what, Doug? You should enjoy yourself because come Sunday you’re going to start dying, just a little bit, every day.” – Phil (Bradley Cooper) 

5. “Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question?” – Phil (Bradley Cooper) 

6. “Whose f**king baby is that?” – Phil (Bradley Cooper) 

7. “Jesus, he’s like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.” – Phil (Bradley Cooper) 

8. “To a night the four of us will never forget!” – Phil (Bradley Cooper)

9. “Oh! Holy f**k! He’s not kidding! There’s a tiger in there!” – Phil (Bradley Cooper)

10. “Let’s just get some coffee and get the f**k out of Nevada before housekeeping shows.” – Phil (Bradley Cooper)

11. “What’s the problem? We’re just riding an elevator. Why, is this Jeopardy? What the f**k is this bullshit!” – Phil (Bradley Cooper)

12. “You know, I just have to say I have never seen a more beautiful, elegant, just regal creature.” – Phil (Bradley Cooper)

The Hangover quotes from Stu (Ed Helms) 

13. “You are literally too stupid to insult.” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

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14. “Hey, Phil, am I missing a tooth?” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

15. “I don’t know, Phil. Apparently, I’m a guy who marries complete strangers. This whole situation is completely f**ked. These mugs. This hat.” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

16. “Phil, we’re not even going to be in the room. It’s one night, we can share beds. It’s no big deal.” – Stu (Ed Helms)

17. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You just nailed the baby.” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

18. “I’m sorry, you mean the drug dealer at the liquor store wasn’t a good guy?” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

19. “Why are you peppering the steak? You don’t know if tigers like pepper.” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

20. “Yeah, we’re stuck in traffic in a stolen police car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back seat. Which part of this is fun?” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

21. “Phil, we’re not going to leave a baby in the room, there’s a f**king tiger in the bathroom!” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

22. “Oh, my God! That is my tooth! Why do you have that? What else is in your pockets?” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

23. “Wow! You are the world’s shittiest drug dealer.” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

24. “I can’t believe I gave my grandmother’s Holocaust ring to someone I just met. What was I thinking?” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

25. “You know, everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he’s kind of a sweetheart.” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

26. “Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

27. “Don’t let the beard fool you. He’s a child!” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

28. “You’re such a bad person. Like, all the way through to your core! Alan, shall we dance?” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

If you’re enjoying these quotes, check out our dance quotes to inspire you to get your body moving.

29. “What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit?” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

30. “By the way, we’re all gonna die.” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

31. “I look like a nerdy hillbilly!” – Stu (Ed Helms) 

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The Hangover quotes from Alan (Zack Galifianakis) 

32. “It’s not a purse. It’s a satchel. Besides, Indiana Jones has one.” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis) 

33. “You better walk on. I’ll hit an old man in public.” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis) 

34. “There’s a jungle cat in the bathroom!” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis) 

35. “It’d be so cool if I could breastfeed, you know?” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis) 

36. “Four of us wolves, wandering the desert together in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine.” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis) 

37. “What are you talking about? I’ve found a baby before.” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis) 

38. “Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It’s not gambling when you know you’re going to win. Counting cards is a foolproof system.” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis) 

39. “This isn’t the real Caesar’s Palace is it?” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis) 

40. “Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis) 

The Hangover quotes from others

41. “Yeah, that’s the point! It’s funny!” – Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong)

42. “Not you, fat Jesus.” – Officer Franklin (Rob Riggle) 

43. “Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit’ll come back with you.” – Sid (Jeffrey Tambor) 

44. “Okay, kids. You’re in for a real treat today. These gentlemen have kindly volunteered to demonstrate how a stun gun is used to subdue a suspect. That’s right.” – Officer Franklin (Rob Riggle) 

45. “Have you ever seen monkey in jail?” – Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong)

46. “I do. It’s at the corner of ‘Get A Map and F**k Off’. I’m a doctor, not a tour guide. Figure it out yourself, okay? You’re big boys.” – Dr. Valsh (Matt Walsh) 

47. “So after we take the mug shots, we bring them on down here where they wait to be interviewed by the arresting officers. Trust me, kids, you do not want to be sitting on these benches. We call this place ‘Loserville’.” – Officer Foltz (Brody Stevens)

48. “Nothing hurts Chow. I am invisible!”– Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong)

49. “There you go. That’s the stuff. I like the intensity. Eye of the tiger. Good. You’re holding fifty thousand volts, little man. Don’t be afraid to ride the lightning.” – Officer Franklin (Rob Riggle) 

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50. “Don’t worry about it, man. Like you said, we all do dumb shit when we’re f**ked up.” – Mike Tyson (Mike Tyson) 

51. “We can’t be friends anymore. When we get together, bad things happen and people get hurt.” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis)

52. “We’ve been on a lot of adventures together but it seems like you haven’t learned anything.” – Alan (Zack Galifianakis)

53. “Oh, you are having a bad day. Did you die?”- Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong)

The Hangover quotes and one-liners

54. “Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don’t, but do me a favor: don’t text me, it’s gay.” –Phil (Bradley Cooper)

55. “Not at the table, Carlos!” -Alan (Zack Galifianakis)

56. “I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust…” –Alan (Zack Galifianakis)

57. “Shut that baby up!” –Officer Franklin (Rob Riggle)

58. “You gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy.” –Doug (Justin Bartha)

59. “Oh wait, next weeks no good for me, the Jonas brothers are in town.” –Alan (Zack Galifianakis)

60. “Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.” -Alan (Zack Galifianakis)

61. “I want you to know, Doug, I’m a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, I will never, ever, ever speak a word of it.” –Alan (Zack Galifianakis)

62. “He’ll be fine. I cracked a window.” –Phil (Bradley Cooper)

63. “Hey! There are Skittles in there!” –Alan (Zack Galifianakis)

When’s the last time you took a risk? 

The Hangover is one of my favorite comedy movies of all time. Many comedies can seem formulaic. Their jokes often fall flat because of it. 

The Hangover is far from unoriginal. From Stu’s missing tooth to the random baby, the movie isn’t afraid to take risks for genuine laughs. I still remember the first time I saw the tiger in the bathroom and busted out in laughter. 

I find a lot of value in the fact that The Hangover wasn’t afraid to take risks. Its creative decisions that other people may find strange are what set it apart. 

Which of these The Hangover quotes and lines is your favorite? What’s the next movie that we should feature on Everyday Power? Let me know below!

Nia Simone McLeod
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