35 Classic The Sandlot Quotes From Ham, Smalls, and More (2020)
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35 Classic The Sandlot Quotes From Ham, Smalls, and More

Published on November 3, 2020 7:00 AM EST
35 Classic The Sandlot Quotes From Ham, Smalls, and More

The Sandlot is a classic coming-of-age sports film that has inspired generations of kids to pick up a baseball bat. The Sandlot quotes below feature some of the funniest moments from the movie. 

Which character from The Sandlot do you resonate with the most? 

The Sandlot follows a group of neighborhood kids during one eventful summer in the 1960s. Its memorable ensemble cast includes Tom Guiry as Scotty Smalls, Patrick Renna as Hamilton “Ham” Porter, and Mike Vitar as Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez.

35 Classic The Sandlot Quotes From Ham, Smalls, and More

The movie has had such a large cultural impact that there’s currently a The Sandlot reboot TV series in the works at Disney+. 

Laugh along with the gang from this 90s family movie below!

Don’t forget to also check out these hilarious Schitt’s Creek quotes from the Emmy-Winning comedy.

The Sandlot quotes from Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

1. “You’re killin’ me, Smalls!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

2. “You know, if my dog was as ugly as you. I’d shave his butt and tell him to walk backward.” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

3. “You mix your Wheaties with your mama’s toe jam!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

4. “First you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the ‘mallow. When the ‘mallows flaming… you stick it on the chocolate. Then cover with the other end. Then you scarf. Kind of messy, but good! Try some!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

5. “This pop isn’t workin’, Benny! I’m bakin’ like a toasted cheese-it! It’s so hot here!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

6. “Hurry up batter. It’s gotta be a short game, then I gotta get home for lunch.” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

7. “Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She’s naked?” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

8. “You call that pitching? This is baseball! Not tennis!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

9. “You play ball like a girl!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

The Sandlot quotes from Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

10. “Smalls, Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player that ever lived. People say he was less than a god but more than a man. You know, like Hercules or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth, well, more than your whole life.” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

11. “Man, this is baseball, you gotta stop thinking! Just have fun. If you were having fun, you would have caught that ball!” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

12. “Just stand out there and stick your glove out in the air. I’ll take care of it.” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

13. “Man, base up you blockheads!” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

14. “What are you laughing at Yeah-Yeah? You run like a duck.” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

15. “Anyone who wants to be a can’t-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama’s bra, raise your hand.” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

The Sandlot quotes from Scotty Smalls (Tom Guiry, David Mickey Evans)

16. “We all lived in the neighborhood for a couple of more years – mostly through junior high school – and every summer was great. But none of them ever came close to that first one. When one guy would move away, we never replaced him on the team with anyone else. We just kept the game going like he was still there.” – Scotty Smalls (David Mickey Evans)

17. “Oh yeah, the Great Bambino. Of course! I thought you said the Great Bambi.” – Scotty Smalls (Tom Guiry)

18. “Not another one among us would have ever in a million years even for a million dollars have the guts to put the move on the lifeguard. He did. He had kissed a woman. And he had kissed her long and good. We got banned from the pool forever that day. But every time we walked by after that, the lifeguard looked down from her tower, right over at Squints, and smiled.” – Scotty Smalls (David Mickey Evans)

19. “It wasn’t really the pool honeys, like we said; because, if any one of them had come up to any one of us, we’d have just pee’d our pants. We all went because, well, because Wendy Peffercorn – was the lifeguard.” – Scotty Smalls (David Mickey Evans)

20. “Even though none of us had ever seen a Playboy magazine, which we constantly lied about, we figured going to the pool was the next best thing to being there.” – Scotty Smalls (David Mickey Evans)

The Sandlot quotes from Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

21. “I’ve been coming here every summer of my adult life, and every summer there she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling… smiling. I can’t take this no more!” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

22. “For-ev-er! For-ev-er! For-ev-er!” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

23. “Quiet. Are you trying to wake it up? It just went to bed.” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

24. “About time, Benny, my clothes are goin’ outta style.” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

25. “This kid is an L7 weenie!” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

The Sandlot quotes from others

26. “Smalls, you mean to tell me you went home, swiped a ball that was signed by Babe Ruth, brought it out here and actually played with it?” – Timmy Timmons (Victor DiMattia) 

27. “You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!” – Phillips (Wil Horneff)

28. “Baseball was life! And I was good at it… real good.” – Mr. Mertle (James Earl Jones)

29. “Remember kid, there’s heroes and there’s legends. Heroes get remembered but legends never die, follow your heart kid, and you’ll never go wrong.” – The Babe (Art LaFleur)

30. “Let me tell you something kid; Everybody gets one chance to do something great. Most people never take the chance, either because they’re too scared, or they don’t recognize it when it spits on their shoes.” – The Babe (Art LaFleur)

31. “God, he looks like a dead fish.” – Bertram Grover Weeks (Grant Gelt)

32. “Little pervert!” – Wendy Peffercorn (Marley Shelton)

33. “You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!” – Phillips (Wil Horneff)

34. “We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain’t good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.” – Phillips (Wil Horneff)

35. “I take it back. You’re not in trouble, you’re dead where you stand.” – Mr. Mertle (James Earl Jones)

What does your community look like? 

The Sandlot shines over 25 years later because of the connections and comradery between the main cast. Whether it’s between family, friends, or coworkers, having a strong sense of community is very important. They can hold you accountable, help you talk through your problems, and support you in your time of need. 

If you don’t have that community IRL, try searching for an online community. There are many ways you can stay in contact online, including through platforms like Discord and Zoom. 

Did you enjoy these The Sandlot quotes and lines? What’s your favorite quote from this cult classic? What’s the next movie we should feature? Let us know your thoughts below!

35 Classic The Sandlot Quotes From Ham, Smalls, and More
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