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Classic The Sandlot Quotes From Ham, Smalls, and More

The Sandlot is a classic coming-of-age sports film that has inspired generations of kids to pick up a baseball bat. The Sandlot quotes below feature some of the funniest moments from the movie. 

Which character from The Sandlot do you resonate with the most? 

The Sandlot follows a group of neighborhood kids during one eventful summer in the 1960s. Its memorable ensemble cast includes Tom Guiry as Scotty Smalls, Patrick Renna as Hamilton “Ham” Porter, and Mike Vitar as Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez.

The movie has had such a large cultural impact that there’s currently a The Sandlot reboot TV series in the works at Disney+. 

Laugh along with the gang from this 90s family movie below!

Don’t forget to also check out these hilarious Schitt’s Creek quotes from the Emmy-Winning comedy.

The Sandlot quotes from Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

1. “You’re killin’ me, Smalls!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

2. “You know, if my dog was as ugly as you. I’d shave his butt and tell him to walk backward.” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

3. “You mix your Wheaties with your mama’s toe jam!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

4. “Come on! We’ll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

5. “This pop isn’t workin’, Benny! I’m bakin’ like a toasted cheese-it! It’s so hot here!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

6. “Hurry up batter. It’s gotta be a short game, then I gotta get home for lunch.” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

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7. “Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She’s naked?” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

8. “You call that pitching? This is baseball! Not tennis!” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

9. “Hey, hey. I’m just trying to have a little friendly conversation.” – Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna)

The Sandlot quotes from Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

10. “Smalls, Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player that ever lived. People say he was less than a god but more than a man. You know, like Hercules or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth, well, more than your whole life.” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

11. “Man, this is baseball, you gotta stop thinking! Just have fun. If you were having fun, you would have caught that ball!” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

12. “Just stand out there and stick your glove out in the air. I’ll take care of it.” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

13. “Man, base up you blockheads!” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

14. “What are you laughing at Yeah-Yeah? You run like a duck.” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

15. “Anyone who wants to be a can’t-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama’s bra, raise your hand.” – Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar)

The Sandlot quotes from Scotty Smalls (Tom Guiry, David Mickey Evans)

16. “Come on, Squints. You can do it! Pull through, bud!” – Scotty Smalls (David Mickey Evans)

17. “Oh yeah, the Great Bambino. Of course! I thought you said the Great Bambi.” – Scotty Smalls (Tom Guiry)

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18. “I haven’t had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?” – Scotty Smalls (David Mickey Evans)

19. “He had kissed a woman, and he had kissed her long and good.” – Scotty Smalls (David Mickey Evans)

20. “Maybe the shock of his first homer was just too much for him.” – Scotty Smalls (David Mickey Evans)

The Sandlot quotes from Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

21. “I’ve been coming here every summer of my adult life, and every summer there she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling… smiling. I can’t take this no more!” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

22. “It’s about time, Benny. My clothes are going out of style!” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

23. “Quiet. Are you trying to wake it up? It just went to bed.” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

24. “About time, Benny, my clothes are goin’ outta style.” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

25. “This kid is an L7 weenie!” – Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Chauncey Leopardi) 

The Sandlot quotes from others

26. “Smalls, you mean to tell me you went home, swiped a ball that was signed by Babe Ruth, brought it out here and actually played with it?” – Timmy Timmons (Victor DiMattia) 

27. “That’s the way I play—100%. All the time.” – Mr. Mertle

28. “Baseball was life! And I was good at it… real good.” – Mr. Mertle (James Earl Jones)

29. “Remember kid, there’s heroes and there’s legends. Heroes get remembered but legends never die, follow your heart kid, and you’ll never go wrong.” – The Babe (Art LaFleur)

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30. “So, it seems like you’re in trouble.” – Mr. Mertle

31. “God, he looks like a dead fish.” – Bertram Grover Weeks (Grant Gelt)

32. “Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.” – Phillips (Wil Horneff)

33. “You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!” – Phillips (Wil Horneff)

34. “We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain’t good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.” – Phillips (Wil Horneff)

35. “I take it back. You’re not in trouble, you’re dead where you stand.” – Mr. Mertle (James Earl Jones)

What does your community look like? 

The Sandlot shines over 25 years later because of the connections and comradery between the main cast. Whether it’s between family, friends, or coworkers, having a strong sense of community is very important. They can hold you accountable, help you talk through your problems, and support you in your time of need. 

If you don’t have that community IRL, try searching for an online community. There are many ways you can stay in contact online, including through platforms like Discord and Zoom. 

Did you enjoy these The Sandlot quotes and lines? What’s your favorite quote from this cult classic? What’s the next movie we should feature? Let us know your thoughts below!

Nia Simone McLeod
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