Have you noticed there is a new catch phrase in town? Yes, the term ‘it’s all good’ seems to be a common phrase used during, or as a way, to end conversations.
For those of you who may not be familiar, the phrase is another way of saying “no worries” or “it is not all bad”. I recently started noticing how and when people use it. As I observed, I wondered if stating it’s all good, really did make things better.
Can it help you to wipe the slate clean, or could this be just another way people are learning to avoid their feelings?
Why It’s All Good Doesn’t Always Feel Good
Before you decide, let me give you an example. Let’s say you locked your keys in the car and this made you late for work. You had to pay a service to come unlock your car. You get to work, spew your frustrations, and then end the conversation with, ‘it’s all good’.
Now certainly, this can be a nice way of leaving things on a better note, redirecting your attention to look on the brighter side of things. However, you have to wonder: what happens to all those emotions? Do they really go away? The answer is – it depends. It depends on how stressed out you got about it in the first place.
So if you locked your keys in your car and started cursing and stomping your feet, it is likely these feelings did NOT go away. Instead, they were only pushed aside. On the other hand, if you were somewhat calm throughout the process, were able to maintain some sense of composure, or shrugged it off so to speak, then chances are that you really did feel like it was all good.
Here’s the thing: it is really not so much about the words but the intention and energy they carry. When phrases and comments are ingrained into your system, they – over time – become reflexive in nature. Like a knee jerk response, they pop out of your mouth without much awareness.
I have learned it is the awareness (not so much the words) that really makes it all good. Without awareness, these incidences and emotions are likely to resurface at another time. Often, they come up at some of the most inconvenient times. Like in the middle of the night, at a company party, or while making dinner for your kids.
Now I am not suggesting you stop using the phrase. However, what I do recommend is that you watch how quickly you use it.
Consider taking a breath before stating that it’s all good. When you are quick to move on, your emotions get minimized. When you minimize your feelings, your needs become obsolete. Many people treat needs like weaknesses. They see pushing through and getting to the next thing as a sign of strength. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Your feelings are your soul’s expression. Your needs help you to expand the way in which you contribute and connect to the world – whether you are a high profile career person overseeing a large company, or a stay-at-home mother – we ALL have needs. When you brush your feelings aside with quick statements, you may be preventing yourself from gaining the wisdom and energy these life experiences have to offer.
If you are outside, feel the air on your skin, soften that frown, unwind your shoulders by rolling them around, stretch your arms out wide, and open your heart to the goodness around you. Let all the tension and frustrations melt away.
It’s all good.