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50 Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office

Jim Halpert quotes to put a smile on your face.

Jim Halpert is one of the best, funniest characters from the classic comedy “The Office”. He is masterfully played by John Krasinski.

Jim is a salesman for Dunder Mifflin Paper Company and is famous for his sarcasm and office pranks.

Throughout the series, one of the best parts of the show is seeing what prank Jim is working on and most of the time he is pulling the prank on his annoying coworker Dwight Schrute. Although Dwight and Jim are often going against each other, some of the best episodes are when they team up together.

Don’t forget to also check out these Dwight Schrute quotes that will help you take on a new perspective in life.

Best Jim Halpert quotes from The Office

1. “It’s just that sometimes goodbyes are a bitch.” – Jim Halpert

2. “The point is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible, so technically they are doing parkour as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital.” – Jim Halpert

3. “From time to time I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future.” – Jim Halpert

4. “This is the smallest amount of power I’ve ever seen go to someone’s head.” – Jim Halpert

5. “Congratulations, universe. You win.” – Jim Halpert

6. “Because Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel.” – Jim Halpert

7. “See, you’re always saying there’s something wrong with society. Maybe there’s something wrong with you?” – Jim Halpert

8. “I think it’s time for you to bury the hatchet.” – Jim Halpert

9. “That’s my favorite part of Christmas, the authority.” – Jim Halpert

10. “One day, Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.” – Jim Halpert

11. “The raise isn’t real.” – Jim Halpert

12. “This is literally how they built the pyramids.” – Jim Halpert

13. “Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.” – Jim Halpert

Funny Jim Halpert Quotes About People and Career

14. “My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.” – Jim Halpert

15. “I think it’s great that the company’s making a commercial, because not very many people have heard of us.” – Jim Halpert

16. “I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try.” – Jim Halpert

17. “I had to put more and more nickels in his handset, so he would get used to the weight. Then one day… I took ‘em all out.” – Jim Halpert

18. “I mean I’ve always subscribed to the idea that if you really want to impress your boss, you go in there and you do mediocre work, halfheartedly.” – Jim Halpert

19. “Everything I have I owe to this job. This stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.” – Jim Halpert

20. “Tomorrow I can tell you what a great boss you turned out to be. Best boss I ever had.” – Jim Halpert

21. “Why don’t I wanna go? Didn’t expect to need a reason so let me think here. Um. I don’t know any of these people, it’s an obligation, I don’t like talking paper in my free time (or in my work time), and did I use the word pointless?” – Jim Halpert

22. “He has not stopped working… for a second.” – Jim Halpert

23. “I may not have done so hot on my customer reviews this year.” – Jim Halpert

24. “I mean, I don’t even know what I’d do with all that money.” – Jim Halpert

25. “Okay, well you’re the one who lost the desk.” – Jim Halpert

26. “They don’t ever talk about careers that were made because of unplanned pregnancies.” – Jim Halpert

27. “If I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob, I can pretty much sell anything.” – Jim Halpert

Jim Halpert Quotes About Family and Love

28. “I gotta tell you, this baby is amazing. She gets me out of everything, and I… and I love her. I also love her very much.” – Jim Halpert

29. “Having a baby is exhausting. Having two babies? Now that’s just mean.” – Jim Halpert

30. “You are everything.” – Jim Halpert

31. “Got it a week after we started dating.” – Jim Halpert

32. “Plan A was marrying her a long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her.” – Jim Halpert

33. “I took the role to impress a receptionist who will remain nameless.” – Jim Halpert

34. “Dwight tried to kiss me.” – Jim Halpert

35. “I kinda put it all on the line. Twice, actually. And she said no.” – Jim Halpert

36. “Actually I am in an office relationship. It’s special… She’s nice, she’s shy. She’s actually here if you wanna meet her.” – Jim Halpert

37. “We’re third cousins, which is great for bloodlines and isn’t technically incest.” – Jim Halpert

38. “Do you shower at night? Or do you shower in the morning? ‘Cause I wanna shower when you’re showering…save some water.” – Jim Halpert

39. “She’s amazing. This is very exciting.” – Jim Halpert

Other inspirational Jim Halpert Quotes

40. “I am a black belt in gift wrapping.” – Jim Halpert

41. “And as it turns out, Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.” – Jim Halpert

42. “I ate a tuna sandwich on my first day, so then Andy started calling me ‘Big Tuna.’ I don’t think any of them know my real name.” – Jim Halpert

43. “So this is my life. Until I win the lottery.” – Jim Halpert

44. “You’re looking at the master of leaving parties early.” – Jim Halpert

45. “It’s exhausting, being this vigilant.” – Jim Halpert

46. “Now, exactly how much pot did you smoke?” – Jim Halpert

47. “Really? Hats off to you for not seeing race.” – Jim Halpert

48. “He…is a crime-fighting beaver.” – Jim Halpert

49. “I don’t mean to brag, but New Year’s Eve…I was home by nine.” – Jim Halpert

50. “Wow, you’ve really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic.” – Jim Halpert

Which of these Jim Halpert Quotes is your favorite?

After reading some of Jim Halpert’s quotes, you can probably see that he is a funny and sarcastic character. Jim is that guy who is a natural leader without trying.

He is good at most things and is successful when he puts his mind to it but throughout the entire series Jim battles with trying to decide if he really wants to sell paper all of his life.

Jim is one of the great characters who make The Office such a great show, but he could not do it without his coworkers. From his love interest Pam who is the office secretary and eventually a saleswoman to his arch-nemesis Dwight, his tag along Andy, and his hilarious boss Michael Scott.

Jim gets into and out of a lot of hilarious situations with this crew and you should do yourself a favor and watch the series immediately.

Did you enjoy reading these Jim Halpert quotes and lines? Which of the quotes is your favorite? Let us know in the comment section below.

Stephanie Kirby
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