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Best Michael Scott Quotes from The Office

These Michael Scott quotes will make you laugh out loud and inspire you at the same time.

Michael Scott (played by Steve Carrell) is a fictional character from the sitcom The Office, which ran from 2005-2013.

Why is Michael Scott such a beloved TV character?

Michael Scott’s personality is “quirky” to say the least (some think he suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder)!

He often overestimates his self worth, offends his employees with crude remarks, and causes chaos in, you guessed it, the office!

Regardless of what you think of the character, Michael Scott has an unlimited supply of funny quotes about work, life, love, and management theory.

He also misquotes common phrases, and hysterically so at that!

Below you’ll find our collection of hilarious Michael Scott quotes and sayings to give you a good laugh.

We also have a compilation of funny quotes from Elf.

Be sure to check them out as well.

If you like this article, we suggest you explore our most popular quotes article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily encouragement.

Look through our complete collection of inspirational quotes here.

Michael Scott quotes about quitting and being let go

1.) “I’m running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.”- Michael Scott

2.) “You should have burned down this place when you had a chance.” – Michael Scott

3.) “They say on your deathbed you never wish you spent more time at the office, but I will.” – Michael Scott

4.) “And I’m optimistic because everyday I get a little more desperate.” – Michael Scott

5.) “There’s no such thing as an appropriate joke. That’s why it’s called a joke.” – Michael Scott

6.) “I don’t want to work. I just want to bang on this mug all day.” – Michael Scott

Michael Scott quotes on how to live life

7.) “Saved a life. My own. Am I a hero?… I really can’t say, but yes!” – Michael Scott

8.) “Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.” – Michael Scott

9.) “And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.” – Michael Scott

10.) “Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering.” – Michael Scott

12.) “No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them.” – Michael Scott

4.) “I declare bankruptcy! When it all becomes too much and you feel that just saying it is enough to get you out of trouble.” – Michael Scott

13.) “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” – Michael Scott

14.) “Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing.” – Michael Scott

15.) “Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.” – Michael Scott

16.) “You should never settle for who you are. Always go for better if it exists. Sometimes this is all there is to improve yourself.” – Michael Scott

Also check out these hilarious quotes from Talladega Nights.

Michael Scott quotes on love and marriage

17.) “Well, it’s love at first sight. Actually, it was… No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.” – Michael Scott

18.) “Webster’s Dictionary defines “wedding” as: The fusing of two metals with a hot torch.” – Michael Scott

19.) “All my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parents’ dream.” – Michael Scott

20.) “I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say ‘no’ to being my friend.” – Michael Scott

21.) “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” – Michael Scott

22.) “Presents are the best way to show how much you care. It’s a tangible thing you can point at and say, ‘Hey man, I love you. This many dollars worth.’” – Michael Scott

23.) “There is no greater feeling than when two people who are perfect for each other overcome all obstacles, and find true love.” – Michael Scott

Michael Scott quotes about management and his employees

24.) “An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… An office is a place where dreams come true.” – Michael Scott

25.) “If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.” – Michael Scott