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Orange Is The New Black Quotes About Life and Laughs

These Orange is the New Black quotes are too good to miss!

If you’ve never caught an episode of OITNB, you are surely missing out! With relatable characters and hilarious dialogue, these Orange is the New Black quotes will remind you of just how awesome this show is!

You may love this show simply because it is hilarious. You may relate to it on some level. You may perceive it as a humorous, but cautionary tale. Whatever the reason for watching – and perhaps without your even knowing it – these ladies occasionally drop some wit and wisdom on us that is not to be missed.

With that, I give you the best Orange is the New Black quotes from the show.

And once you’re done reading the quotes below, be sure to also check out list of the best American Horror Story quotes.

The Greatest Lines from Orange Is The New Black

1. “All problems are boring until they’re your own.” – Red

2. “No offence, but, uh, men being in charge has never done me any good.” – Pennsatucky

3. “No. This year I’m loving someone who deserves me: Me.” – Suzanne

4. “Sometimes people just don’t want to play with you. And that’s OK!” – Suzanne

5.  “You don’t go Jessica Simpson when you’ve got Rihanna.” – Morello

6. “If you’re not building a future, it’s because you don’t believe there is a future.” –Vee

7. “Yeah I said stupid twice, only to emphasize how stupid that is!” – Pennsatucky

8. “It’s so disappointing being underestimated as you age.” – Irma

9. “The second you’re perceived as weak, you already are.” – Red

10. “I’m scared that I’m not myself and I’m scared that I am.” – Piper

11. “Before I met you the sun was like a yellow grape. But now, it looks like fire in the sky. Why? Because you light a fire inside me!” – Suzanne

12. On love: “It’s just chilling, you know? Kickin’ it with somebody, talking, making mad stupid jokes. And like, not even wanting to go to sleep ‘cuz then you might be without ’em for a moment and you don’t want that.” – Washington

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13. On winning a mock job fair: “This isn’t a contest. You do your best because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Why is it so hard for you people to understand? You’re like babies! “Where’s my present?” “Pay attention to me!” “Give me things!” “Fix the heat!” “Build a gym!” I’m not your goddamn mommy. Grow up! In acknowledgment of your hard work and success, an award of $10 will be added to your commissary fund. Enjoy.” – Natalie

14. “I’m thankful for you girls who remind me every day that self-forgiveness is possible.” – Yoga Jones

15. On getting the full story: “I mean, she told me how she traveled after college. But she failed to mention the lesbian lover who ran an international drug smuggling ring. Imagine my surprise.” – Larry

16. “A lot of people are stupid and still live full, productive lives.” – Alaida

17. Blanca on Love: “Diablo says there are no perfect couples but each couple is perfect in its own way.”

Also, read these thought-provoking quotes from Black Mirror.

Orange Is The New Black Quotes and Funny One-Liners

18. On coming to reality: “I used to think you were a yellow dandelion, but you are all dried up with the puff blown off.” – Suzanne

19. “You rage, I eat. We all have our way.” – Cindy

20. “Leaving her like this, you’d think they’d have some humanness in them.” – Gloria

21. “I forgave him. And you know what? It ain’t about him. I forgave him for me.” – Doggett

22. “Look, I still got some time left here, but I’m getting out eventually, and it feels like it’s time to start focusing on that. Make sure I have a plan.”

23. “Do you ever feel like a person without a country?”  – Doggett

24. On the voices in your head: “I know they’re not real, but it don’t mean they don’t have nothing to say.” – Lolly

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25. “Everyone wants to go back in time sometimes. To go back to the moment when everything was still possible, before they made a wrong turn, so that they could go on the right path. But it’s not possible. All we can do is make the most of right now.” – Healy

26. “I don’t have rage. I’m just sad.” – Pennsatucky

27. “It was fun for a while, but the fun just started to seem like everyone was covering up the empty feelings.” – Leanne

28. “More often than not, people believe what you tell them.”

29. “You take a woman’s power away. Her work, her family, her currency. You leave her with one coin…the one she was born with. It may be tawdry and demeaning, but if she has to, she will spend it. But you’re right, your feelings count, too.” – Red

30. “I refuse to be invisible, Daddy. Not for you, not for Mom, not for anybody.” – Big Boo

31. “Maybe this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now. Maybe this, right now, is making me a better person.” – Piper

33. “Prison is not cool. Being here is not cool. It’s not brave or admirable or courageous, it’s stupid. I feel stupid for being in here.”- Soso

34. “God. This is the loneliest place I’ve ever been and I lived in a tree for eight months.” – Soso
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of This Is Us quotes from the award-winning series.

More Orange Is The New Black Quotes

35. “Did it ever occur to you that we don’t want to get in touch with our feelings? That feeling our feelings might make it impossible to survive in here?”

36. “We were never friends. Not for a second. I loved you.” – Piper Kerman

37. “We have a racially biased justice system that overpunishes, fails to rehabilitate, and doesn’t make us safer.” – Piper Kerman

38. “Two hundred women, no phones, no washing machines, no hair dryers, it was like Lord of the Flies on estrogen.” – Piper Kerman
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Lord of the Flies quotes that will remind you of why we need structure and rules.

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39. “Do you have to find the evil in yourself in order to truly recognize it in the world?” – Piper Kerman

40. “When you are deep in misery, you reach out to those who can help, people who can understand.” – Piper Kerman

41. “Prison is quite literally a ghetto in the most classic sense of the world, a place where the U.S. government now puts not only the dangerous but also the inconvenient people who are mentally ill, people who are addicts, people who are poor and uneducated and unskilled.” – Piper Kerman

42. “Faggots make the best friends, she said philosophically. They’re very loyal.” – Piper Kerman

43. “From a young age I had learned to get over to cover my tracks emotionally, to hide or ignore my problems in the belief that they were mine alone to solve.” – Piper Kerman

44. “Maybe, because all these good people loved me enough to help me, maybe I wasn’t quite as bad as I felt. Maybe there was a part of me that was worthy of their love.” – Piper Kerman

45. “How important it is to stay true to yourself even in the midst of an adventure or experiment.” – Piper Kerman

Which of these Orange Is The New Black quotes is your favorite?

While mixed with hilarity, there is humanity.  I think that is what resonates with people so much about the show. I will never forget the finale with the hole in the fence, and the simple joy to briefly go in the lake, that for a moment they had freedom and humanity.

If nothing else, learn from them to be grateful for what you have, and that you truly can survive anything…hopefully, with a sense of humor.

Dr. Nikki Martinez, Lead Contributor
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  1. Vatsal Modi

    October 28, 2019 at 4:53 PM

    Toast can never be bread again.

  2. Husikage

    August 2, 2019 at 11:55 AM

    “It’s about character. It’s about who shows up for you and whom you show up for. When you are young, you learn this. When you have children, you teach this. When you are old, you hope you remember.” Red S07 E14

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