20 Hilarious Red Forman Quotes

Everyone with a tough, sarcastic father will relate to these Red Forman quotes!

Red Forman is a fictional character played by Kurtwood Smith and is one of the main characters on That 70s Show.

Tell us your favorite Red Forman quote in the comment section below.

Learn more about Red Forman

In the show, Red is the father to Eric and Laurie and the husband to Kitty.

Red is middle-aged and balding.

While he is bald now, his mother gave him the nickname “Red” when he was a little boy because of his hair color, and it stuck.

Red’s full name is Reginald Albert Forman.

He is a tough, no-nonsense kind of guy that is a Veteran of WWII and the Korean War.

Red is hard on his son Eric who he often refers to as “dumbass,” but he is loving and easy on his daughter Laurie.

Red and Kitty’s house is the main hangout for Eric’s friends, and we see throughout the show they annoy Red with their presence, yet they all fear his wrath.

Enjoy these funny Red Forman Quotes that will leave you wanting to watch That 70s Show!

Sarcastic Red Forman quotes

Red is a very sarcastic dad, as seen in the following quotes.

1. “So does a swift kick in the ass.” — Red Forman

2. “Kelso, you make Eric look like Einstein.” — Red Forman

3. “Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy!” — Red Forman

4. “What are you going to put on your Resume – dumbass?” — Red Forman

5. “The reason bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumbass.” — Red Forman

6. “I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses.” — Red Forman

7. “Well, that’s, that’s perfect, Eric. Use that line when you’re up for Miss America.” — Red Forman

8. “Thanks for the help. You seem to have a natural talent for handling luggage.” — Red Forman

9. “Let me get this straight – Donna told you she wanted to get back together, and you said NO?” — Red Forman

10. “If the government decides to stick a tracking device up your ass, you say ‘thank you, and God bless America!’” — Red Forman

Demeaning Red Forman quotes

When you ticked Red off, you heard about it.

11. “That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.” — Red Forman

12. “We’re all gonna go to church, and we’re gonna have a damn nice Sunday.” — Red Forman

13. “You mean with that ungrateful daughter, our dumbass son, and that drunk foreign kid?” — Red Forman

14. “If you ever do anything like that again, I will kick your ass so hard, your nose will bleed.” — Red Forman

15. “You morons just hung vacancy signs on your asses… and my foot’s looking for a room!” — Red Forman

16. “Eric, didn’t I tell you to wash up for dinner? I know it’s difficult to hear with your head up your ass.” — Red Forman

17. “Without our government, you’d be stuck in Siberia now, sucking the juice from a rotten commie potato!” — Red Forman

18. “So, this is how an immature, engaged, high school dumbass, with no car, no job, and no money trims the hedges.” — Red Forman

19. “When My Time Comes, I Want To Be Buried Face Down, So That Anybody That Doesn’t Like Me Can Kiss My Ass.” — Red Forman

20. “Oh, would you stop! Luke Skywalker this, Luke Skywalker that, I’m sick and tired of hearing about that little fruit!” — Red Forman

Gruff, tough, and loving

Red is an excellent representation of the generation of fathers who were tough and gruff on the outside but still loving on the inside.

He loves his wife, and even though they annoy him, he loves his kids and even likes a few of their friends.

Although, he would never say that.

Please share these Red Forman quotes with family and friends that could use a good laugh, and share your favorites in the comment section below.