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‘That 70s Show’ Quotes From the Hit Sitcom About the ‘Me Decade’

These That 70s Show quotes from characters like Steven Hyde, Michael Kelso, Red Forman, Jackie Burkhart, Donna Pinciotti, and Eric Forman will have you laughing and shaking your head at some of the absurdity! It’s almost like you are right in front of your screen watching.

That ’70s Show is an American television period sitcom that chronicled the lives of six teenage friends living in fictional Point Place, Wisconsin, from May 17, 1976, to December 31, 1979. The show originally aired on Fox from August 23, 1998, to May 18, 2006. Keep reading to find out why That 70s Show was canceled.

The plot of the show addressed social issues of the 1970s. These included sexual attitudes, generational conflict, the economic recession, mistrust of the American government, and underage drinking/teenage drug use (as heavily implied by ‘the circle’).

It also highlighted several iconic things like fashion trends, ‘the clicker’ and TV, Star Wars, video games, and even the VCR. You can see a lot of themes in these short That 70s Show quotes, but the episodes do a much better job of capturing the vibe of the 70s.

Don’t forget to also check out these Blues Brothers quotes from the musical comedy.

Best That 70s Show quotes from Steven Hyde that will make you shake your head

1. “Don’t put me in your fantasies. I don’t even like being in your real life.” ― Hyde

2. “I don’t love people. I love Camaros, Zeppelin, and french fries- in that order!” ― Hyde

3. “It’s not the devil, man! It’s congress! They passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records, man! They want to kill rock n’ roll because they know it makes us horny, man!” ― Hyde

4. “Disco is from hell, okay? And not the cool part of hell with all the murderers, but the lame ass part with the accountants!” ― Hyde

5. “I’m telling you, the government has a car that runs on water, man!” ― Hyde

6. “Fez, I don’t know why you are smiling, but I promise you won’t be.” ― Hyde

7. “You know what your problem is? You’re really cute, so no one ever told you to shut your pie hole.” ― Hyde

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8. “I don’t answer stupid questions.” ― Hyde

9. “The three true branches of the government are- military, corporate, and Hollywood.” ― Hyde

10. “Hey, if God didn’t want me to wear this shirt so much, he wouldn’t have made them rock so hard.” ― Hyde

Sarcastic and funny That 70s Show quotes from Red Forman

11. “Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy!” ― Red Forman

12. “When my time comes, I want to be buried face down, so that anybody that doesn’t like me can kiss my ass.” ― Red Forman

13. “Without our government, you’d be stuck in siberia now, sucking the juice from a rotten commie potato!” ― Red Forman

14. “You morons just hung vacancy signs on your asses… and my foot’s looking for a room!” ― Red Forman

15. “If I was a bird, I’d fly into the ceiling.” ― Red Forman

16. “That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.” ― Red Forman

17. “You don’t have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumbass!” ― Red Forman

18. “Well, that’s, that’s perfect, Eric. Use that line when you’re up for Miss America.” ― Red Forman

19. “That’s the thing about marriage… No one tells you about the three rings. There’s the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.” ― Red Forman

20. Kitty: “Red, it wouldn’t hurt you to thank him.”

Red: “It might… I just had a heart attack.”

That 70s Show quotes from Kelso

21. “You know what your problem is? I’m too good looking.” ― Kelso

22. “I’m like ketchup; I am good on everything.” ― Kelso

23. “I have three things that women want: I’m hot and I’m smart.” ― Kelso

24. “Ooooh! Burn! That’s a burn about a burn! That’s a 2nd degree burn!” ― Kelso

25. “Damn, Jackie, I can’t control the weather!” ― Kelso

26. “Just once, I want the right thing and the topless thing to be the same thing!” ― Kelso

27. “Well I was thinking, if a party of 10 would be fun, then a party of 30 would be twice as fun!” ― Kelso

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28. “You have the right to remain BURNED!” ― Kelso

29. “It’s not real English if you speak it with a foreign accent.” ― Kelso

30. “My mind’s always doing things that I don’t even know about.” ― Kelso

That 70s Show quotes from Jackie Burkhart

31. “Look, the sooner you realize I’m a genius, the better off we’ll both be.” ― Jackie Burkhart

32. “If I could run across the beach into my own arms, I would.” ― Jackie Burkhart

33. “You’re watching me live my life, that’s better than any movie.” ― Jackie Burkhart

34. “The beautiful cannot be held responsible for the havoc our looks create.” ― Jackie Burkhart

35. “You don’t just move on from Jackie Burkhart. I’m like the bottle, you need a 12 step program to break my spell.” ― Jackie Burkhart

36. “I’m going to go out, meet some boys, and crush their hearts one by one.” ― Jackie Burkhart

37. “Better to have loved and lost than to be butt-ugly.” ― Jackie Burkhart

38. “I’m everybody’s type, that’s my thing.” ― Jackie Burkhart

39. “He called me ugly on the inside and the outside. I’m sorry but he’s just wrong about the outside part.” ― Jackie Burkhart

40. “I just decided being sad is a waste of time. Yeah, see, a more productive use of my time is revenge.” ― Jackie Burkhart

That 70s Show quotes from Eric and Donna

41. Eric: “I promised to stop acting like such an ass, and give Donna only presents, not cash.”

Donna: “And why’s that?”

Eric: “Because presents are for girlfriends and cash is for hookers.”

42. “I vow to kiss you so hard your pretty little red head pops off.” ― Eric

43. “We’ve lived next door to each other forever. You could’ve had me when I was four.” ― Donna

44. “If you can see a future for yourself without me, and that doesn’t, like, break your heart, then we’re not doing what I thought we’re doing here and you know what? Maybe we shouldn’t even be together at all!” ― Eric

45. Donna: “I love you, Eric.”

Eric: “I love… cake.”

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46. “God, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant B*tch?” ― Eric

47. “So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I can’t, because they’re both idiots.” ― Donna

48. “I can’t believe Laurie bit me. I hope she didn’t give me slut rabies.” ― Donna

49. “Wow! It’s every little girl’s dream to get married out of spite!” ― Donna

50. “I’m not that drunk… I just can’t walk or see… Man, that was a great party.” ― Eric

Which of the above That 70s Show quotes is your favorite?

An interesting fact about the show is the original working titles were all inspired by hit songs of the 70s. One working title was Teenage Wasteland (named after the lyric from Baba O’Riley by The Who). Another The Who song that almost made it as the show’s title was, The Kids Are Alright. Some other contenders included Feelin’ All Right (a Traffic & Joe Cocker song) and Reeling in the Years (a song by Steely Dan).

However, producers were met with song-rights refusals, and co-creator Bonnie Turner suggested that the show should be titled That ’70s Show. She had heard an audience member saying “I loved that show about the ’70s.” While all of those songs are cool, I can’t imagine this show being called anything else!

Beginning in season 5, the show once again picked up the idea for a 70s musical tribute, by naming all the episodes after a song by a famous rock band. For season 5, the lucky band was Led Zeppelin. Season 6 featured titles inspired by The Who, while season 7 paid homage to The Rolling Stones.

Season 8’s episode titles featured songs by Queen, except for the finale. So, just why was That 70s Show canceled? Well, Topher Grace (Eric Forman) and Ashton Kutcher (Michael Kelso) wanted the freedom to expand their film careers.

What was your favorite thing about That 70s Show? Do you have any other That ’70s Show quotes and lines to add? Use the comment section below to share your thoughts or tell us about your favorite episode.

Danielle Dahl, Lead Contributor
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