Stephen Colbert Quotes From The Satire Master

Prepare to crack a smile and laugh with our Stephen Colbert quotes. 

Stephen Colbert has been delivering side-splitting humor for decades. 

Find out what motivates his genius comedian with our Stephen Colbert quotes below. Who is Stephen Colbert?

Stephen Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, host, and political commentator. 

He has won Emmy, Grammy, and Peabody Awards. 

Below are some of Colbert’s most successful television programs:

  • The Colbert Report
  • The Late Show
  • The Daily Show
  • Strangers With Candy

Colbert and the era of news parody

I am old enough to remember when the news was, well, the news. 

There were no clever comedians or guests; it was just the news. 

Times have changed, and with the addition of the twenty-four-hour news cycle, parody news was born. 

Parody is nothing new, but parody news is.

The success of programs such as The Daily Show and The Colbert Report gave rise to a new way Americans consumed their news. 

Recent polls suggest up to twenty-one percent of Americans get their news from parody programs like The Colbert Report.

Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart are now mentioned in the same sentences as Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings. 

Colbert once said the following:

“I’m not here to affect you politically or socially. I’m here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.”

Readers over the age of thirty might think that sounds crazy, but truth is stranger than fiction. 

In fact, a Pew poll released earlier this year found that twenty-one percent of people aged 18-29 cited The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, and Saturday Night Live as places where they regularly got their news from. 

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This trend is interesting because the same poll was taken in the year 2000, and only nine percent responded to consuming news from parody shows. 

Stephen Colbert and the American Dream

People forget that Colbert is doing a character.

The whole idea is that he is supposed to be a caricature of a conservative journalist like Bill O’Reilly. 

If you get offended, he asks you to remember not to take any of it personally. 

He laments, “I’m a comedian from stem to stern: You can cut me open and count the rings of jokes.”

To learn more, check out our Stephen Colbert quotes below. 

Short and funny Stephen Colbert quotes about fraud

We begin with these satirical quotes about media bias. 

1. “I can’t prove it, but I can say it.” — Stephen Colbert

2. “Don’t be afraid to make things up.” — Stephen Colbert

3. “Reality has a well-known liberal bias.” — Stephen Colbert

4. “Never fear being exposed as a fraud.” — Stephen Colbert

5. “Experts make things up all the time; they’re qualified too.” — Stephen Colbert

The best Stephen Colbert quotes about the love of performance

Colbert is a perfectionist who truly loves his craft. 

6. “I love being onstage.” — Stephen Colbert

7. “I love the relationship with the audience.” — Stephen Colbert

8. “I don’t perceive my role as a newsman at all.”  — Stephen Colbert

9. “I love the letting go, the sense of discovery, the improvising.” — Stephen Colbert

10. “I’m a comedian from stem to stern: you can cut me open and count the rings of jokes.”  — Stephen Colbert

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The top Stephen Colbert quotes about the importance of dreams and family

Here, Colbert opens up about his family and life dreams. 

11. “Thankfully, dreams can change.” — Stephen Colbert

12. “Who really wants to be themselves when they’re teenagers?” — Stephen Colbert

13. “All I can do is today and tomorrow and have some idea of what we’re doing next week.” — Stephen Colbert

14. “If we’d all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.” — Stephen Colbert

15. “I’m a junkie for exhaustion, and I’m a junkie for setting up my expectations too high and then trying to meet them.” — Stephen Colbert

Famous Stephen Colbert quotes about his interview style

Colbert clears up some misconceptions about his media style while in character. 

16. “I’m not an assassin.” — Stephen Colbert

17. “Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.” — Stephen Colbert

18. “I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.” — Stephen Colbert

19. “I’m a satirist, so I’ve got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire.” — Stephen Colbert

20. “If that ever happens, it’s only because something happened during the interview that got me going.” — Stephen Colbert

Steven Colbert quotes and sayings about integrity and morality

As a character, Colbert has pushed the limits of discomfort in his comedy. 

21. “I do like thinking.” — Stephen Colbert

22. “I have a morality. I don’t know if it’s the best morality.” — Stephen Colbert

23. “Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It’s certainty.” — Stephen Colbert

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24. “If people perceive that as a moral intellectualism, that’s fine. That’s up to them to decide.” — Stephen Colbert

25. “I’m very comfortable with uncomfortable situations, and I think that can seem odd to people, that I like the thrill of discomfort.” — Stephen Colbert

Stand tall in your power

Colbert reminds us to hold on to our power, noting:

“If you don’t give power to the words that people throw at you to hurt you, they don’t hurt you anymore. And you actually have power over those people.”

What is your favorite Stephen Colbert quote?

Be sure to let us know in the comments. 

Clifton Sankofa has Master's degrees in English, Teaching, and School Leadership. He is a veteran educator and school leader. Clifton has built his career around teaching language arts, social-emotional learning, hip-hop(e), and vegan cooking. Across the country, Black and Brown communities die over preventable diseases. Clifton's aim is to help reverse this trend through cultural shifts. Using hip-hop and cultural-centered activities, he educates young people on how to reclaim their health and heritage through sustainable vegan eating, cooking practices, and literacy skills.
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