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SuperStore Quotes from the Comedy Series

These Superstore quotes will make you laugh. Share your #1 in the comments.

SuperStore is an American sitcom that aired on NBC from November 2015 to March 2021.

It features a story about what a group of employees in a supersized mega grocery shopping center named Cloud 9 SuperStore encounter on a day-to-day basis— from clueless customers to hustlers of sale shopping, mirroring the American culture of shopping and retail works.

The series is able to showcase the hidden gems found in a workplace such as hilarious interaction with real people and overcoming the challenges of daily work.

And when your work is about dealing with different people all the time, you are bound to have some crazy moments from time to time.

Here are some of the fun SuperStore quotes from the series.

Don’t forget to also check out these Two and a Half Men quotes to remind you of the sitcom.

Superstore quotes from Dina Fox

1. “I cannot physically touch you, but I can get very close.” — Dina Fox

2. “I’m a hunter. Some people like to hunt elk, or deer. I hunt people, and your head is going on my wall.” — Dina Fox

3. “It’s all hands on deck, so quit your Myspacing and get on the register. That’s an order.” — Dina Fox

4. “Is it true that the Olympic Village is basically just a three-week-long Slammerama?” — Dina Fox

5. “A psychopath doesn’t have a conscience. A sociopath knows what he’s doing is wrong but does it anyway.” — Dina Fox

6. “You are a journalist and a rapist, and those are the two worst things any person can be.” — Dina Fox

7. “I’m a Christian too, but in these four walls, my bible is the employee code of conduct.” — Dina Fox

8. “Nobody bothers with the surveys. People only use receipts to spit out gum and for murder alibis.” — Dina Fox

9. “ Look, you’re like the old paper coupons. You’re kind of a nuisance, but arguably served a purpose, and now you’re useless.” — Dina Fox

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Superstore quotes from Amy Dubanowski

10. “Welcome to the no options club. It’s a cool club. Most of America’s in it. We meet on Tuesdays.” — Amy Dubanowski

11. “Tomorrow is gonna be just like today, and I know that because today is just like yesterday.” — Amy Dubanowski

12. “Strawberry blondes should not be allowed to grow facial hair. That should be in our constitution.” — Amy Dubanowski

13. “You know, one second everything’s great and then you step on some invisible land mine and you’re fighting. Boom!” — Amy Dubanowski

14. “I’m going to unleash crazy Amy. You guys can call me “Craymie” — Amy Dubanowski

15. “We can’t just live our lives afraid to offend someone. I think that we, you know, as a society, we need to just lighten up a little bit.” — Amy Dubanowski

16. “We’re all becoming narcissistic attention whores!” — Amy Dubanowski

17. “Yeah, see, Latino parents are different. We don’t really need our kids to like us. We just break their spirit so the world doesn’t.” — Amy Dubanowski

Superstore quotes from Glenn Sturgis

18. “Balloons are like our souls. They want to go up, but can’t, and when you pop them, they scream.” — Glenn Sturgis

19. “God doesn’t make mistakes very often, but when he does, you have to throw them right in the trash.” — Glenn Sturgis

20. “Turns out they had a meth lab in their basement, which, turns out, was just a front for a dog fighting ring.” — Glenn Sturgis

21. “Just want to let you know, I know names besides Steve.” — Glenn Sturgis

22. “People assume all Christians are homophobes. You know, that is ignorant. You can’t imagine how hard it is being stereotyped.” — Glenn Sturgis

23. “Could it be a race riot? It’s so hard to tell in the early stages.” — Glenn Sturgis

24. “Some people might find your voice, octave-wise, to be the teeniest, tiniest, bit high.” — Glenn Sturgis

25. “I used to end these meetings with some wisdom from the Good Book, but then someone reported me to corporate” — Glenn Sturgis

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Superstore quotes from Garrett McNeill

26. “I can’t be around Dina in that costume. It’s like, my rational brain says that’s the same crazy fascist that physically removed gum from my mouth, but my caveman brain says, hey, man, boobs. It’s very confusing.” — Garrett McNeill

27. “Yo, I don’t like working here. Okay. But it’s my job. I do the bare minimum, but I don’t do less than that. And I’m not about to let a bunch of deal-hungry rubes trash our store and make me feel bad for Dina, which I did not think was possible.” — Garrett McNeill

28. “And yeah, I’ma cut corners, and I’ma phone it in, but it’ll never be said that Garrett McNeill did not do just enough to not get fired.” — Garrett McNeill

29. “Dude, you can’t get everybody here to agree to join a union. We couldn’t even agree on a theme for our summer barbecue. Ended up being 1980s Arabian Nights Under The Sea Harry Potter.” — Garrett McNeill

30. “I’ve taken four breaks today, so I guess we both got stuff to brag about.” — Garrett McNeill

31. “I feel like you only ask me how I’m doing so you could talk about your thing, but cool.” — Garrett McNeill

Superstore quotes from Cheyenne

32. “I didn’t set out to have a baby. It came from sex.” — Cheyenne

33. “I can’t be a single mom. I have never even driven on the highway before. What if the baby needs to go downtown?” — Cheyenne

34. “Some days you get the giraffe, and other days you get the wig.” — Cheyenne

35. “I want to show Bo. He’s never seen me in a video with clothes on.” — Cheyenne

Superstore quotes from Jonah

36. “I think it says something about our priorities that we spend so much money on pets when there are literally millions of children without adequate nutrition.” — Jonah

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37. “My point is, there are people who do nothing and there are people who do something, and I am one of those people. The something group” — Jonah

38. “If it makes you feel any better, I turned down sex with a hooker for you.” — Jonah

39. “He looks like a panda and a Disney princess had a baby.” — Jonah

40. “You guys get a mom, you send her my way; I’m gonna get you that positive feedback guaranteed.” — Jonah

Superstore quotes from Mateo Liwanag

41. “It’s just like my mom always said, if you don’t work hard, baby Jesus will cry.” — Mateo Liwanag

42. “There are raises on the line. So sorry, not sorry. I’m not here to make friends.” — Mateo Liwanag

43. “Look, I know you don’t want to hurt me, but not doing this is hurting me. So if you’re really my friend, please, beat the hell out of me.” — Mateo Liwanag

44. “I’ve been busting my butt trying to show you I’m a good worker, but you have your head so far up your own butt you haven’t noticed.” — Mateo Liwanag

45. “If we’re talking about truth bombs, well, take shelter, ’cause I’m about to make it rain.” — Mateo Liwanag

Which of these Superstore quotes is your favorite?

This show gained a good amount of traction with the general audience due to its setting and natural take on Superstore work environment, which many people can relate to. It includes the occasional workplace beefs, chit-chats and significance of essential workers in the retail industry.

Many fans were disappointed because of the cancelation of this show. Only time will tell when we will have another sitcom in this particular niche or this might be the only gem we will ever get.

Let these Superstore quotes and sayings be a reminder that no matter how stressful your work environment is, there are still genuine moments you can share with your colleagues.

Stephanie Kirby
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