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The Funniest King of the Hill Quotes Every True Fan Will Know

Any true fan is sure to know these hilarious King of the Hill quotes.

For 13 years Hank, Bobby, and Peggy showed us just how funny the life of a mundane, Texas family could be.

The adult animated sitcom was created by Mike Judge and Greg Daniels and follows the life of Strickland Propane Shop’s assistant manager, Hank Hill.

Unlike other adult sitcoms of the early 21st century, King of the Hill took a realistic approach to comedy and found the funny in everyday aspects of life.

Who’d have thought a show about mowing lawns and drinking beer would be so successful?

Despite the humdrum lives of the show’s characters, Judge and Daniels found a way to bring a dark but funny edge to the show by discussing serious issues like education, family, and community through the lens of the show’s redneck crew.

Here are some of the best King of the Hill quotes that sum up the series.

Don’t forget to also check out these Tony Soprano quotes from the boss.

Also, check out our most popular quote article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily wisdom. 

See the rest of our quote database for even more inspirational ideas and thoughts.

Best King of the Hill quotes from Bobby

1. “Why do you hate what you don’t understand?” — Bobby Hill

King of the Hill quotes about Why do you hate what you don't understand?

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2. “Think about it, Luanne. Why would you bring a child to a department store to buy a dryer when his birthday is three-and-a-half weeks away? It just doesn’t make sense!” — Bobby Hill

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King of the Hill quotes from Bobby Hill

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3. “And white people always be walking around like this… LIke they be crushing diamonds in their or something! Look at me! I’m White!” — Bobby Hill

King of the Hill quotes

4. “My dad sure wants me to be at that haunted house. Last time he wanted me to be somewhere so bad, I woke up without tonsils!” — Bobby Hill

King of the Hill quotes about haunted house

5. “Good-bye, Luanne. I j wantd you to know that I never read your diary, even though you suspected I did on June 18th, 1985.” — Bobby Hill

King of the Hill quotes about read

6. “I was getting ready but I worked up an appetite looking for dress pants, so I ordered a pizza, and that ate up a chunk of time.” — Bobby Hill

King of the Hill quotes about pizza

7. “Donuts were one of life’s little joys. If the government bans puppy breath and good yawns, I’ll have nothing left to live for.” — Bobby Hill

King of the Hill quotes about government bans

8. “Luanne, I know we’ve had our differences, but I was kinda hoping we could make up and not get married.” — Bobby Hill

King of the Hill quotes about Luanne

9. “To tell you the truth, dad, that sounds boring. It’s okay if you’re into boring, but I’m not.” — Bobby Hill

King of the Hill quotes about To tell you the truth, dad, that sounds boring. It's okay if you're into boring, but I'm not

10. “That’s my purse! I don’t know you!” — Bobby Hill

King of the Hill quotes about That's my purse! I don't know you!

11. “Git out my house! My boy ain’t much, but he’s all I got!” — Bobby Hill (Mocking his dad)

King of the Hill quotes about Git out my house! My boy ain't much, but he's all I got!

If you enjoy this article, check out our collection of hilarious Boomhauer quotes.

Best King of the Hill quotes from Hank

12. “Bobby, Al Yankovic blew his brains out in the late 80s after people stopped buying his records. He’s not worth getting in trouble over.” — Hank Hill

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King of the Hill quotes about the late 80s after people stopped buying his records

13. “There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed!” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed!

14. “I sell popcorn and popcorn accessories.” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about I sell popcorn and popcorn accessories

15. “I am the mack daddy of Heimlich County!” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about I am the mack daddy of Heimlich County

16. “I have a sense of humor. I laugh at Tony Danza.” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about I have a sense of humor. I laugh at Tony Danza

17. “Can’t you see you’re not making Christianity any better, you’re just making rock and roll worse?” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about making Christianity

18. “So, are you Chinese or Japanese?” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about So, are you Chinese or Japanese

19. “What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he’s white?” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he’s white

20. “An ‘F’ in English? Bobby, you speak English!” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about An ‘F’ in English? Bobby, you speak English

21. “What? No, I sell propane!” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes What? No, I sell propane

22. “There’s something missing, something wrong…it’s like a pretty girl with short hair.” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about There’s something missing, something wrong…it’s like a pretty girl with short hair

23. “Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking.” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking

24. “Bobby, some things are like a tire fire, trying to put it out only makes it worse. You just gotta grab a beer and let it burn.” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes from Hank Hill

25. “Why would anyone smoke weed when they could just mow a lawn?” — Hank Hill

King of the Hill quotes about Why would anyone smoke weed when they could just mow a lawn?

Which King of the Hill character is your favorite?

King of the Hill creator, Mike Judge, initially found success in his first show, Beevus and Butt-Head on MTV.

When Judge pitched the idea for a new show based on a realistic family in Texas to FOX, executives weren’t sure it could be a success.

So, they decided to team up with Simpsons allum, Greg Daniels, who reworked the show to be better suited for television.

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Daniels contributed major character building to Judge’s characters and even came up with a few vital characters of his own— Luanne and Cotton.

In fact, Judge and Daniels worked so well together that Judge decided to give Daniels co-creator status in the credits, rather than just co-writer.

Did you enjoy these King of the Hill quotes and lines?

Which quote was your favorite?

Let us know in the comments below.

Sckylar Gibby-Brown
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