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New Girl Quotes To Brighten Your Day

These New Girl quotes will have you in stitches from how relatable Jess and her roommates really are.

New Girl was a 2011 sitcom that ran for 7 seasons.

It’s a refreshing show about a smart but dreadfully naive elementary school teacher who moves into a beautiful loft apartment in Los Angeles’ Art District with a group of twenty-something men after a bad breakup.

Over the seasons, Jess and her roommates navigate adulthood together.

The show exploits the awkward adventures of young adults as they try to figure out relationships, careers, and themselves.

Whether you relate more with quirky Jess, underachiever Nick, fastidious Schmidt, charming Cece, sporty Coach, or weird Winston you are sure to love these New Girl quotes.

Don’t forget to also check out these The Golden Girls quotes from one of America’s favorite sitcoms.

New Girl quotes to make you laugh

1. “Because people are the worst.” – Jess

2. “Sometimes I think I’m just a riddle that I can’t even solve.” – Schmidt

3. “You’re a plant killer, and I write songs. We’re weirdos, but that’s who we are.” – Jess

4. “Look, it’s food. I love food.” – Jess

5. “I want to sit at that desk and veto a law.” – Nick

6. “I’m the best with pranks. They call me Prank Sinatra!” – Winston

7. “For the first time in my life, I’m not 100% broke.” – Coach

8. “Look at that font! What is this? Amateur hour? At least use Palatino.” – Nick

9. “I’ve never been an inspiration before. I don’t like this much responsibility.” – Nick

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10. “I might as well call you Bridge to Terabithia because you make children cry.” – Jess

Best New Girl quotes from quirky Jess

11. “So when I do the chicken dance, I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It’s more realistic.” — Jess

12. “Blast from the past, how’s that ass?” — Jess

13. “I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!” — Jess

14. “My first crush was on a Batman cake, but my first sexual feelings were about teenage Simba because he was really hot, and I still actually find him hot.” — Jess

15. “I’ll take the strongest drink you have, and also a wine spritzer on the side in case I don’t like it.” — Jess

16. “It was me. Having sex. I left my body, went up to heaven, saw my grandparents, thought it was weird that I saw my grandparents, came back down. I became a werewolf. I scared some teenagers. I came back into my body. Only thing is, he thinks my name is Katie, and that I’m a dancer and or something involving puppets.” — Jess

17. “You guys are ruling women out based on their breast size? It’s the least important part of a woman’s body! Unless you’re a baby. Are you guys babies?” — Jess

18. “Nick doesn’t have a life plan. He doesn’t have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, ‘Put on pants.’” — Jess

19. “I don’t want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?” — Jess

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20. “I hope you like feminist rants, because that’s kind of my thing.” — Jess

21. “Nick isn’t even a man. He’s some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day I had to tell him not to pull a dog’s tail.” — Jess

22. “I’m only attracted to guys who are afraid of success and think someone famous stole their idea.” — Jess

23. “‘Because once you see my body, you will go brain-dead and have memory loss.’ Send. Oh, no! Autocorrect changed ‘body’ to ‘meat bar.’” — Jess

24. “Everything you say sounds really creepy when you’re not wearing pants.” — Jess

25. “I’m probably fine. But I also might be dead.” — Jess

Which New Girl character do you relate to the most?

Considered widely as one of the greatest sitcoms of modern television, New Girl ran for six successful seasons before being canceled by Fox executives.

The news was shocking to all involved, including showrunners, actors, and fans.

Though the writers and producers were able to give the series a satisfying ending, series creator, Elizabeth Merriwether, called on the cast and crew to campaign for a better finale.

They were successful, and the hit show released an 8-episode final season that flashed forward 3 years.

This allowed the fans to see their favorite characters in their happily ever afters.

Did you enjoy these New Girl quotes and lines?

Which quote was your favorite?

Let us know in the comments below.

Sckylar Gibby-Brown
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