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The Simpsons Quotes from the Long-Running Cartoon

The Simpsons quotes below have spanned multiple decades and people are still enjoying them. Let us know your favorite in the comments.

The Simpsons is an animated sitcom series that focuses on satirical concepts of American life. It centers on the story of the Simpson family, which consists of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. The series parodies the topic of American society, pop culture, and even politics.

Because of its relevance and hilarious take on different issues, The Simpsons quickly became a favorite in the ’90s. Since then, it has continued its longevity with newer animation styles and relatable gags.

This series was able to stand the test of time and became a part of entertainment for different generations. Here are some of the most memorable The Simpsons quotes to remind you of your favorite episodes.

Don’t forget to also check out our collection of the best My Girl quotes from the 90s classic.

The Simpsons quotes from Marge

1. “You’re going to stay your current ages for the rest of your lives.” — Marge

2. “I’m so embarrassed I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die.” — Marge

3. “This family has had its differences and we’ve squabbled, but we’ve never had knife fights before. And I blame this house.” — Marge

4. “Halloween is a very strange holiday. Personally, I don’t understand it. Kids worshipping ghosts, pretending to be devils.” — Marge

5. “Today he’s drinking people’s blood. Tomorrow he could be smoking.” — Marge

6. “…if you raised three children who can knock out and hog tie a perfect stranger you must be doing something right.” — Marge

7. “You know the courts might not work anymore, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else justice will be done!” — Marge

8. ” I don’t want to alarm anybody, but I think there’s a little al-key-hol in this punch.” — Marge

9. “Bart! Stop pestering Satan.” — Marge

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10. “Can’t beat a skybox. All the excitement of being in the sky with the security of being in a box.” — Marge

11. “Homer, I like to think that I’m a patient, tolerant woman and that there was no line that you could cross that would make me stop loving you. But last night you didn’t just cross that line, you threw up on it!” — Marge

12. “Only three cavities, Bart, your best checkup ever! I’m going to make you my specialty, butterscotch chicken.” — Marge

13. “If someone did eat Bart’s shorts they’d have a tummy full of pocket garbage.” — Marge

14. “Lisa, you’re learning many lessons tonight. And one of them is to always give your mother the benefit of the doubt.” — Marge

15. “These are Homer’s friends and family. They don’t want him dead. They just want him to suffer.” — Marge

The Simpsons quotes from Lisa

16. “Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired by Hallmark and Disney in a hostile takeover, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.” — Lisa

17. “Why do I get the feeling that someday I’ll be describing this to a psychiatrist?” — Lisa

18. “If you take away our cartoons, we’ll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots.” — Lisa

19. “Does it make you feel superior to tear down people’s dreams?” — Lisa

20. “They want sentiment? I’ll pump ’em so full of sap they’ll have to blow their nose with a pancake!” — Lisa

21. “I think you need Skinner, Bart. Everybody needs a nemesis.” — Lisa

22. “It’s not my nature to complain, but so far today we’ve had three movies, two filmstrips, and an hour and a half of magazine time. I just don’t feel challenged.” — Lisa

23. “I learned that beneath my goody two-shoes lies some very dark socks.” — Lisa

24. “I’m proud of you, Mom. You’re like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.” — Lisa

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25. “Don’t you see? Getting what you want all time will ultimately leave you unfulfilled and joyless.” — Lisa

26. “All the years I’ve wanted to be treated like an adult have blown up in my face.” — Lisa

27. “Shut up, brain. I got friends now. I don’t need you anymore. ” — Lisa

28. “I always knew someday Mom would violently rise up and cast off the shackles of our male oppressors.” — Lisa

29. “Mom, look, I found something more fun than complaining!” — Lisa

The Simpsons quotes from Homer

30. “I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.” — Homer

31. “I have so many questions for you. First of all, is this floor reinforced?” — Homer

32. “Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.” — Homer

33. “Lord help me, I’m just not that bright.” — Homer

34. “Operator! Give me the number for 911!” — Homer

35. “Between your genius and my nothing we make a great team, come on give me a hug!” — Homer

36. “…if anyone asks you something you don’t understand, just say protons.” — Homer

37. “If you’re out of my sight, you must constantly Twitter me what you’re up to…” — Homer

The Simpsons quotes from Mr. Burns

38. “What makes a man endanger his job, and, yes, even his life, by asking me for money?” — Mr. Burns

39. “Morons. Pathetic morons in my employ, stealing my precious money.” — Mr. Burns

40. “Why do I need another penny? I have billions. Still, if I don’t take it, that hoodlum over there might.” — Mr. Burns

41. “You’re not as stupid as you look or sound or our best testing indicates.” — Mr. Burns

42. “This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon they’ll have written the greatest novel known to man. Let’s see. It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times! You stupid monkey!” — Mr. Burns

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The Simpsons quotes from Ned Flanders

43. “Well I can’t say for sure, but as a Christian, I assume the worst.” — Ned Flanders

44. “Can I make my famous mimosa? A little sparkling water in a glass full of regular water?” — Ned Flanders

45. “Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees.” — Ned Flanders

46. “He’s a hero all right, a hero sandwich full of bologna!” — Ned Flanders

47. “I’ve done everything the Bible says – even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!” — Ned Flanders

48. “Sorry is not just the most exciting board game ever devised, it’s a word I need to hear from you!” — Ned Flanders

49. “Call me Delta Airlines, because I can’t handle all your extra baggage.” — Ned Flanders

50. “Did a volcano erupt in Candyland? ‘Cause I just caught me a flyin’ red hot!” — Ned Flanders

Which of these The Simpsons quotes is your favorite?

Because of its huge success, The Simpsons became the longest-running scripted and animated series in U.S history. With over 30 seasons of fun and hilarious episodes, fans can easily pick and enjoy watching some episodes of this series. Some of the episodes will always be more memorable than the others, depending on your preference.

Homer Simpson will always be an iconic character. With his anger management problems, gluttony, low intellect, and relationship with beer, many people can find pieces of his storylines that they can relate to or at least be entertained by with their comedic value.

The series is still going strong and will always be a classic for many. Share these The Simpsons quotes and sayings with your friends and watch some new episodes with them.

Stephanie Kirby
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