50 Bartender Quotes from Television, Movies & Life

By Stephanie Kirby | Published July 19, 2023

Enjoy these funny, inspirational, and catchy bartender quotes.

A bartender serves beverages—alcoholic or otherwise— from behind the bar.

They are known for their mixology skills or their ability to mix cocktails; however, not all bartenders are mixologists.

The bartending profession traces back to ancient Greeks and Romans.

During the 15th century, bartenders were more commonly known as innkeepers.

Cocktails became increasingly popular in America during the 20th century, but bartenders were pushed to underground events and locations during the Prohibition era.

Today many bartenders work at restaurants and bars, while others work at special events like banquets, weddings, and other social gatherings.

While there are many stereotypes about bartenders, such as being uneducated or alcoholics, they can also be known for their connection with the people they serve.

As they serve drinks, they can end up listening to people air what’s troubling them.

Common problems they listen to include:

Relationship struggles
Work challenges
Financial trouble
Health concerns

While bartending was once a frowned-upon occupation, bartending schools are now open where you can learn to become a master bartender.

Some turn it into a full-time career, while others use it to make money for college or to hit other goals they have set for themselves.

Here is a list of top bartender quotes found online.

Popular Bartender Quotes

Here are some common quotes about bartenders found online.

1. “A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.” — Albert Einstein

2. “Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows.” — James Crumley

3. “You know you’re in trouble when the bartender cries.” — Michael Peterson

4. “The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” — Richard Braunstein

5. “The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer.” — Harry Gordon Johnson

6. “A professional bartender is someone who can do his or her best work when he or she doesn’t feel like it.” — Bruce Tomlinson

7. “By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.” — Don Marquis

8. “You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name—and you’ve never been to that bar before.” — Zach Galifianakis

9. “The basic thing is to be humble and pretend you’re a bartender in the tavern of life. Don’t get too comfortable and don’t really listen to anybody else.” — James McBride

10. “I’m a bartender. I like recipes. They’re concretes. Was the drink recipe for seduction one shot charm and two shots self-deception, shaken, not stirred?” — Karen Marie Moning

Bartender Quotes from Movies and Television

Here are some additional quotes and sayings about bartending.

11. “The bartender got a hundred just for keeping the ice cubes cold.” — Goodfellas

12. “You better remember what you put in that so it won’t happen again.” — The Sin of Harold Diddlebock

13. “Bartender, a bit of advice. Always inspect a jukebox carefully. These machines can be deadly.” — Batman

14. “Yo, bartender! Jobu needs a refill.” — Major League

15. “He could be a f***ing bartender for all we know.” — Die Hard

16. “I don’t take no mouth from no bartenders, neither.” — Tombstone

17. “Hey, bartender. Bloody Mary, O-positive.” — A Bug’s Life

18. “Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.” — Back to School

19. “Gimme a whiskey, ginger ale on the side, and don’t be stingy, baby.” — Anna Christie

20. “I’ll have a single shot of whiskey and a double shot of whiskey, and she’ll have a water. Oh, what the hell, it’s our anniversary, bring her a Pepsi.” — Waiting

Bartender Quotes From Song Lyrics

Bartenders are referenced in many songs and lyrics.

21. “I see love in that bartender girl” — Nina Duschek

22. “I like the bartender / I’m at the bar with her” — T-Pain

23. “Bartender, I really did it this time / Broke my parole to have a good time” — Rehab

24. “I said, bartender, pour some more / Don’t wanna be able to walk out that door” — Mickey Aaron

25. “Pour me a drink, yeah, I want another shot / Bartender line ’em up whiskey on the rocks” — Landon Axel

26. “I swear this will be my last call / Now I ain’t drunk dialing no more at 3 am / Mr bartender hittin’ me again” — Morgan Wallen

27. “Bartender, bartender / for all the things you do and just being you, / Say-hey bartender, this song’s for you” — Scatterbrain

28. “Hey bartender, pour ’em hot tonight / ‘Til the party and the music and the truth collide / Bring it ’til his memory fades away / Hey bartender” — Lady A

29. “I’m a bartender / I pour the drinkers / Laugh with the sinners / And cry with the saints / And even if they don’t remember / I try to make their bar tender” — Harley Allen

30. “Mr. bartender could you pour me one round / Something strong to turn this frown I’m wearing upside down / Oh please, could you give me the best drink you’ve got / Mr. bartender, take me out with one shot” — Brad Paisley

Additional Bartender Quotes About the Profession

There are many ways people mention bartenders and the bartending profession, from proving a point to making jokes, as seen in the following quotes.

31. “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” — Oscar Wilde

32. “A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.” — Ernest Rutherford

33. “Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please.” — P.J. O’Rourke

34. “Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.” — Mark Twain

35. “Set up another case, bartender. The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.” — W.C. Fields

36. “Hey bartender, hey man, look here. Give us one more, two more, three more glasses of beer.” — Koko Taylor

37. “Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said, ‘God beat me to it.’” — Rodney Dangerfield

38. “A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.” — Jim Bishop

39. “A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, what’ll it be? The duck doesn’t answer because it’s a duck.” — Jodi Picoult

40. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that—it’s called everybody, and they meet regularly at the bar.” — Drew Carey

41. “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” — Rodney Dangerfield

42. “Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, ‘Where’d you get the pig?’ Guy says, ‘This is a duck.’ Bartender says, “I was talking to the duck.’” — Rodney Dangerfield

43. “He had a habit of remarking to bartenders that he didn’t see any sense in mixing whiskey with water since the whiskey was already wet.” — Joseph Mitchell

Acting and Bartender Quotes

There are plenty of people who use bartending as a way to make ends meet while they go after their dream career.

44. “I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school.” — Nick Frost

45. “I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. Then I started thinking about how cool it was.” — Brandon Routh

46. “I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cab driver. Then they would really be educated.” — Al McGuire

47. “I was frustrated because I couldn’t get going, as I was trying to figure out how to make films. I had various jobs; I taught a SAT class, I was a bartender, I had a day job at an office, and was making short films.” — David O. Russell

48. “From 1965 to 1974, I served the best possible apprenticeship for an actor. I learned firsthand how a truck driver lives, what a bartender does, how a salesman thinks. I had to make a life inside those jobs, not just pretend.” — Brian Dennehy

49. “I was a bartender in New York, and I overheard this girl saying she made $3000 doing a commercial. A kid at work told me, ‘Hey, I know this director, and he’d really like you!’. So I walked into this guy’s office and was like, ‘I was thinking maybe I could make $3000,’ and he hired me for commercials, short films, like 15 jobs in a row.” — Pauley Perrette

50. “I was a bartender for a long time, so I know how to make drinks, but I’m more likely to offer them than to have them. I think this is one of the reasons why I get to live longer than my great-grandmother did, and why I get to produce more writing than she did, and why my marriage isn’t in dire straits.” — Elizabeth Gilbert