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Dumb and Dumber Quotes For Fans of the Movie

If you couldn’t help but laugh when watching the movie, these Dumb and Dumber quotes will take you right back to watching it.

Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels star in the comedy movie Dumb and Dumber. It’s a movie that follows Harry and Lloyd, best friends that aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed.

Lloyd, a limo driver, falls for a woman he drives to the airport. When she leaves her briefcase at the airport, he and Harry drive across the country to bring it back to her. The only problem is that it was a random drop that puts a target on their backs, which makes for a hilarious storyline.

Also check out these hilarious Parks and Rec quotes that will make you laugh.

Dumb & Dumber Quotes by Lloyd

1. “Austria. Well then. G’day, mate! Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie!” – Lloyd

2. “Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?” – Lloyd

3. “Did you pay the Gas-man?” – Lloyd

4. “So you’re telling me there’s a chance!” – Lloyd

5. “Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know?” – Lloyd

6. “That John Denver’s full of sh*t, man.” – Lloyd

7. “It’s ok – I’m a limo driver!” – Lloyd

8. “I’m going to hang by the bar. Put out the vibe.” – Lloyd

9. “Life is a fragile thing, Har. One minute you’re chewin’ on a burger, the next minute you’re dead meat.” – Lloyd

10. “I’ll bet you twenty bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day.” – Lloyd

11. “Big Gulps, huh? Alright!” – Lloyd

12. “I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.” – Lloyd

13. “Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talkin’ bout a little place called… As-pen.” – Lloyd

14. “We landed on the moon!” – Lloyd

15. “That’s as good as money, sir. Those are I.O.U.s.” – Lloyd

16. “We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets heads are falling off!” – Lloyd

17. “Boy this party really died.” – Lloyd  

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18. “Hey, you wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? EEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!” – Lloyd

19. “Thanks. Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I’ll be right back. Don’t you go dying on me!” – Lloyd

You might also like these Sons of Anarchy quotes from the popular crime drama.

Dumb & Dumber Quotes by Harry

20. “Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself.” – Harry

21. “You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?” – Harry

22. “I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.” – Harry

23. “It’s a cardigan but thanks for noticing.” – Harry

24. “Kiss it! You kiss mine! Both cheeks, both lips! Right here! Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!” – Harry

25. “Oh look, frost!” – Harry

26. “Nice set of hooters you got there!” – Harry

27. “I don’t get it, Lloyd. She told me ten o’ clock, sharp! Are you sure you went to the right bar?” – Harry

28. “Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.” – Harry

29. “Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg…” – Harry

30. “According to the map, we’ve only gone 4 inches.” – Harry

31. “What if he shot me in the face?” – Harry

32. “You know what really chaps my ass though? I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog. The alarm alone cost me two hundred.” – Harry

33. “You just drove a sixth of the way in the wrong direction! We don’t have enough money to get to Aspen! We don’t have enough money to get home! We don’t have enough money to eat! We don’t have enough money to sleep!” – Harry

34. “One time we mated a bull dog with a shih-Tzu. We called it a bullshit.” – Harry

35. “You can’t triple stamp a double stamp!” – Harry  

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36. “You had, an extra pair of gloves this entire time?!” – Harry

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Other Dumb & Dumber Quotes

37. “Kick his ass, Sea Bass.”

38. “Pull your vehicle to the side of the road! License and registration, please. You fellas were going a little fast back there, wouldn’t you say? You fellas been doing a bit of boozin’, have ya? Suckin back on grandpa’s old cough medicine?”

39. “Yeah, well you aware it’s against the law to have an open alcohol container here in the state of Pennsylvania? Come on give me them booze you little pumpkin pie hair cutted freak!”

40. “Would you like an atomic pepper, Mr. Mentalino?”

You might also like these Barney Stinson quotes from the popular How I Met Your Mother character.

Funny Dumb and Dumber quotes

41. Harry: I can’t believe we drove around all day, and there’s not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!

Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.

42.Harry:  Why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?

Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.

43. Lloyd: I want to ask you a question, straight out, flat out, and I want you to give me the honest answer. What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together? 

44. Lloyd: If I know Mary as well as I think I do, she’ll invite us right in for tea and strumpets. 

45. Mary: So you’ll pick me up tonight at seven forty-five?

Harry: Yo… well, y’know, I got a few things to take care of first, but what… why don’t we make it quarter to eight?

46. Lloyd: I said, “Do you love me?” and she said, “No, but that’s a really nice ski mask.” 

47. Lloyd: So where are you headin’?

Mary: Aspen.

Lloyd: Hmmm, California! Beautiful!

48. Dale’s man: They’re driving an ’84… Sheepdog. 

49. Lloyd: How about you go over and introduce yourself, build me up, that way I don’t have to brag about myself later.

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50. Lloyd: Some people just aren’t cut out for life on the road. 

Hilarious Dumb and Dumber Quotes from The Movie

51. “I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.” Lloyd Christmas

52. “You had an extra pair of gloves this entire time?!” – Harry Dunne

53. “It’s okay, I’m a limo driver!” – Lloyd Christmas

54. “You don’t kill people you don’t know. That’s a rule.” Mike Starr

55. “You gotta take life by the balls! Chew it up and spit it out! Dance to the tune of a different drummer! Spread your wings and fly and run and jump! God, help me!” – Lloyd Christmas

56. “We are supposed to talk about all expenditures Lloyd! We are on a very tight budget.” – Harry Dunne

57. “Well, it’s not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We’re in a hole. We’re just going to have to dig ourselves out.” – Lloyd Christmas

58. “Yeah, I lost my job too.” – Harry Dunne

59. “Mock! Yeah!” – Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne

60. “I hate when women do that. She wanted to see you again! And now no? Now, wait a minute! Wait! She must have meant 10 o’clock at night!” – Harry Dunne

Which of these Dumb and Dumber quotes is your favorite?

It’s hard to pick a favorite quote from a movie full of hilariously stupid lines. It’s a great movie to watch when you need something to make you laugh and you don’t want to have to think about it.

If you’ve never watched the movie before, these quotes may sound ridiculous. And that’s why you need to watch the movie to hear them delivered by the characters.

But don’t confuse Dumb & Dumber with the prequel that came out years later, Dumb & Dumberer. This movie is a completely different cast and storyline. Make sure you watch the first movie if you want to enjoy these quotes.

Which of these Dumb and Dumber quotes and lines is your favorite? Do you have any other quotes to add? Let us know in the comment section below.

Stephanie Kirby
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