These Parks and Rec quotes will inspire you to binge-watch the entire series.
Parks and Recreation is one of the most beloved sitcoms of all time. This hilarious show is famous for its funny quotes, heartwarming characters, and perfectly executed jokes.
Who is your favorite Parks and Rec character?
Fans of Parks and Rec know that this show is loaded with moments of pure comedy genius. Tune in to follow the journey of Leslie Knope as she climbs the political ladder in Pawnee, Indiana. This show will make you laugh, cry, and feel inspired. As you read this collection of Parks and Rec quotes, think back to some of your favorite scenes.
Parks and Recreation features a fantastic cast, great writing, and nonstop laughs. This list is just a small sample of some of the best jokes and one-liners. Whether you’ve seen the show or not, these hilarious Parks and Rec quotes are guaranteed to make you laugh.
For more laughter, check out our collection of Ron Swanson quotes about the meaning of life, or jump to another iconic show with quotes from Arrested Development.
Parks and Rec quotes that will make you laugh
1. “I don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.” – Leslie Knope
2. “I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes. – Ron Swanson
3. “Everything hurts and I’m dying.” – Leslie Knope
4. “There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.” – Ron Swanson
5. “If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.” – Chris Traeger
6. “I care. I care a lot. It’s kinda my thing.” – Leslie Knope
7. “I want to be a giant head and mouth, and just eat rows and rows of junk food pellets.” – Ann Perkins
8. “Ugh. I hate talking to people about things.” – April Ludgate
9. “I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.” – Tom Haverford
10. “I’m allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 sushis I barf.” – Andy Dwyer
Hilarious Parks and Recreation quotes
11. “It’s like I always say. When life gives you lemons, you sell some of your grandma’s jewelry, and go clubbing.” – Jean Ralphio
12. “When Andy and I used to go to the movies, he would always try to guess the ending of the movie. And he would always guess that the main character had been dead the whole time. Even when we saw Ratatouille.” – Ann Perkins
13. “I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.” – Leslie Knope
14. “My body is finely tuned, like a microchip, and the flu is like a grain of sand. It could literally shut down the entire system.” – Chris Traeger
15. “I totally hear you, but, erm, I also don’t like what you’re saying. So if you say no, I will start a fire in the bathroom.” – Mona Lisa
16. “These dogs are so cute I want to throw up and kill myself.” – Craig Middlebrooks
17. “Treat yo self.” – Donna Meagle
18. “I’m gonna buy some sweat pants and a Nicholas Sparks novel. Might as well lean into it.” – Tom Haverford
19. “One person’s annoying is another’s inspiring and heroic.” – Leslie Knope
20. “Boss man, I wanna go home early. Ooh, hold on actually, hang on. Yeah, no, I wanna quit and never come here again.” – Mona Lisa
Also check out these hilarious Waterboy quotes that will remind you that “you can do it”
Parks and Rec quotes that will make your day
21. “I once forgot to brush my teeth for 5 weeks. I didn’t actually sell my car, I just forgot where I parked it. I don’t know who Al Gore is and at this point I’m too afraid to ask. When they say 2 percent milk I don’t know what the other 98 percent is. When I was a baby, my head was so big scientists did experiments on me. I once threw beer at a swan and then it attacked my niece, Rebecca.” – Andy Dwyer
22. “You know my code. Hoes before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries.” – Leslie Knope
23. “I think you’ve got several options. They’re all terrible…but you have them.” – Chris Traeger
24. “There’s nothing we can’t do if we work hard, never sleep, and shirk from all other responsibilities in our lives.” – Leslie Knope
25. “I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food.” – Ron Swanson
26. “Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Jonas Brothers make out with three Robert Pattinsons. It was amazing.” – April Ludgate
27. “I am super chill all the time.” – Leslie Knope
28. “Do I look like I drink water?” – Donna Meagle
29. “Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?” – Ann Perkins
30. “I’m big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.” – Leslie Knope
Parks and Rec quotes to elevate your mood
31. “If I had to have anybody tell me that I have cancer, I would want it to be me.” – Chris Traeger
32. “I really only listen to, like, German Death Reggae and Halloween sound effects records from the 1950s. And Bette Midler. Obviously.” – April Ludgate
33. “If I had a stripper’s name, it would be Equality.” – Leslie Knope
34. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.” – Andy Dwyer
35. “I regret nothing. The end.” – Ron Swanson
36. “The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.” – Leslie Knope
37. “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it really, really well.” – Andy Dwyer
38. “No one achieves anything alone.” – Leslie Knope
39. “Who hasn’t had gay thoughts?” – Ben Wyatt
40. “Lucky for me, I’ve processed all my feelings. And I’ve gone through the five stages of grief: Denial, anger, internet commenting, cat adoption, African dance, cat returning to the adoption place, watching all the episodes of Murphy Brown, and not giving a flying fart.” – Leslie Knope
Don’t forget to also read these funny Letterkenny quotes that will make you want to pack up and move to Canada.
More Parks and Rec quotes
41. “Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.” – Ron Swanson
42. “No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I’m like a white, male US Senator.” – Leslie Knope
43. “I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.” – April Ludgate
44. “She’s the woooorst!” – Jean Ralphio
45. “I guess some people object to powerful depictions of awesome ladies.” – Leslie Knope
46. “Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have network connectivity problems.” – Andy Dwyer
47. “Calzones are pointless. They’re just pizza that’s harder to eat. No one likes them.” – Leslie Knope
48. “I’m fine. It’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I’m always tired.” – Andy Dwyer
49. “I would like a glass of red wine and I’ll take the cheapest one you have because I can’t tell the difference.” – Leslie Knope
50. “Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.” – Tom Haverford
Which of these Parks and Rec quotes makes you laugh the most?
Parks and Recreation is a hilarious show full of funny quotes and memorable lines. This collection of the funniest quotes will make you laugh even if you’ve never seen the show. Parks and Rec is an awesome show to watch with friends or by yourself. Whether you’re a fan of Leslie, Ron, Andy, or April, you’ll love these hilarious quotes.
If you watched Parks and Rec when it first aired, you may not remember all of these amazing quotes. Take the time to read these lines and refresh your memory. This list of Parks and Rec quotes and lines will make you fall in love with your favorite characters all over again. Share these funny quotes with your friends to make them smile.
What are your favorite funny or inspirational quotes from the Parks and Rec TV show? Let us know in the comment section below.
