60 Gaslighting Quotes That Prove it is Them—Not You

Gaslighting is an insidious and despicable type of emotional abuse, as you will see in these gaslighting quotes.

What does gaslighting look like, and how can you recognize when it is happening to you?

First, it is important to understand that gaslighting is an attempt by someone else to exert power over you.

This can happen in any type of relationship.

If someone is causing you to doubt your own sanity, they might do so by using some common gaslighting phrases listed in these gaslighting quotes.

If someone in your life constantly says any of those phrases to you, then it might be a sign they are gaslighting you.

There are a few other signs you can look out for.

You might not experience them all at once.

It is also important to note that in order for it to be gaslighting, it has to be a habit of the individual.

Keep reading to learn more about what gaslighting is and the signs to watch for.

Gaslighting Quotes From Author Tracy Malone

1. “Gaslighting is a distorted alternate reality.” ― Tracy Malone

2. “Gaslighting is an attempt to change the truth.” ― Tracy Malone

3. “Gaslighting is a slow unconscious loss of reality.” ― Tracy Malone

4. “Narcissists have been planting the seed that you are crazy fro day one.” ― Tracy Malone

5. “Gaslighting is implanted narratives cloaked in secrecy.” ― Tracy Malone

6. “Gaslighting are lies with a purpose to confuse and control.” ― Tracy Malone

7. “Gaslighting is mind control to make victims doubt their reality.” ― Tracy Malone

8. “Gaslighting is when you don’t remember things the same as they do.” ― Tracy Malone

9. “Gaslighting is confusing because they switch to intermittent concern.” ― Tracy Malone

10. “It starts with a lie. Each day the lies amplify. Time goes by, the lies turn to gaslighting. Eventually, the lies become smears about you.” — Tracy Malone

Gaslighting phrases to watch out for

11. “If you were paying attention…” 

12. “You’re being irrational.” 

13. “You can’t take a joke.” 

14. “You are crazy and need help.” 

15. “You are just insecure and jealous.” 

16. “You always jump to the wrong conclusion.” 

17. “You don’t even know what you really want.” 

18. “You’re the only person I have these problems with.” 

19. “You should have known that this was not a good time to talk.” 

20. “Maybe that’s what you heard in your head, but it’s not what I said.” 

Short gaslighting quotes

21. “Gaslighting: An emotional abuse to burn your sanity.” — Unknown

22. “It’s OK to get gaslighted once in a while; that’s how you learn to burn brighter without guile.” — Philusufar

23. “The purpose of gaslighting is to manipulate you into doubting yourself.” — Unknown

24. “Don’t fight hate with hate” is an example of subtle gaslighting.” — Unknown

25. “You tried to gaslight me. You pissed on my foot and told me it was raining.” — Helen M. Pugsley

26. “The narcissist loves playing mind games with you. They are clever to conceal who they are.” — Dana Arcuri

27. “Gaslighting of the soul: They do everything to dim your light, and then they ask you why you’re not shining.” — Unknown

28. “Some people do Oscar-winning performances to gaslight your good heart. Do not forget what they are.” — Dinakar

29. “Gaslighting is a form of covert abuse designed to keep you in a fog and slowly strip away your self-esteem.” — Unknown

30. “Whenever someone is not seeing, accepting, owning and expressing their actual personal truth, it will automatically become a gaslighting situation.” — Teal Swan

Gaslighting quotes about abuse and manipulation

31. “Changed behavior is the only apology; otherwise, it’s just manipulation.” — Maranda Pleasant

32. “Toxic people be like, ‘How dare you set boundaries and not allow me to control and manipulate you?’” — Wingheart

33. “Someone who gaslights you is trying to talk you out of your experience to alleviate their shame and responsibility to an issue. It’s a tool to control and manipulate you.” — Dr. Henry Cloud

34. “Emotional abuse is designed to undermine another’s sense of self. It is deliberate humiliation, with the intent to seize control of how others feel about themselves.” — Lorraine Nilon

35. “Invalidation is crazy-making, and it is also at the root of gaslighting, where victims’ feelings are purposely denied or manipulated in order to make them question their sanity.” — Samantha Rodman

36. “The aim of gaslighting is to make you feel bad about something you need not feel bad about. Gaslighting is emotional abuse… happens in the real world and on social media, too.” — Vikram Karve

37. “Gaslighting qualifies as a form of emotional abuse that involves denying a person’s experience and making statements, such as ‘that never happened,’ ‘you’re too sensitive,’ or ‘this isn’t that big a deal.’” — Ramani Durvasula

38. “Let us not get scooped up by gaslighting manipulators stealing our emotions and taking possession of our inner child to carry out their dark agenda. Let the light of our intuition guide us subtly and wisely along the path of trust and suspicion.” — Erik Pevernagie

39. “Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse. The gaslighter avoids responsibility for their toxic behavior by lying and denying and making you question facts, your memory, and your feelings. Basically, the gaslighter makes you feel crazy and confused.” — Karen Salmansohn

40. “Gaslighting, brainwashing, cults, hostage situations, and totalitarian propaganda have a common basis. They use similar techniques to confuse, intimidate, and disempower people. These methods are used by abusers of all kinds for the purpose of controlling other people, and promoting the abusers’ interests.” — Linda Hatch, PhD

‘What is gaslighting’ quotes

41. “Gaslighting: These predators prey on susceptible individuals who believe in their false altruism, affection, and promises of protection.” — Ross Rosenberg

42. “It is not okay for someone you like to treat you poorly and then pretend it didn’t happen, making you question your own grasp of reality. This dynamic is called gaslighting.” — Unknown

43. “Your narcissistic abuser withholds information in a conversation and replaces it with false information. That’s gaslighting.” — Unknown

44. “Gaslighting can be subtle and unintentional, but as feminist writer Nora Samaran explains, it is particularly insidious because it undermines people’s trust in their own capacities.” — Carla Bergman

45. “Gas-lighters are most successful when they believably cast themselves as loyal and dutiful protectorates who are unconditionally invested in defending and caring for their beloved gaslit victims.” — Ross Rosenberg

46.“Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or members of a group, hoping to make targets question their own memory, perception, and sanity.” — Unknown

47. “Gaslighting is the systematic attempt by one person to erode another person’s reality by telling them that what they are experiencing isn’t so—and the gradual giving up on the part of the other person.” — Dr. Robin Stern

48. “This term is used in the 1944 Ingrid Bergman film Gaslight, in which a husband purposefully drives his wife insane by flickering lights, making noises in the attic, and then claiming the very real experience was all in her head.” — Samantha Rodman

49.“This doesn’t happen in all instances but it is remarkable the lengths these malicious individuals exceed to trash you, put you at fault, and lead others to believe that you are “crazy;” you need immediate psychiatric help, you have always been unstable, etc.” — Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

50. “In terms of gaslighting, I define it as “to implant false and/or distorted narratives that are specially designed or formulated to manipulate a person into a destructive web of deception, loss of control, and the surrender of personal freedom and beliefs of self-worth, self-value, self-esteem, and productivity.” — Ross Rosenberg

Gaslighting Quotes To Secure Your Feelings

51. “It also makes them vulnerable to more gaslighting, because their defenses have weakened, and the best gaslighting victims are those who doubt themselves.” ― Jackson MacKenzie

52. “Remember, a fact is a fact, no matter how hard the liars amongst you might try hushing it up.” ― Billy Childish

53. “The secret to healing is when you learn that you had the power all along. The brainwashing fades and the fears retreat as you rebuild and create the happiest you. Be strong and fight for the future of drinking lemonade in peace.” — Tracy Malone

54. “Driving someone to insanity is the devil’s work.” ― E.A. Bucchianeri

55. “Secrecy Requirement: gaslighting can only work if the victim is manipulated into a covenant of secrecy. Such is implemented when the victim is convinced that the outside world, or formerly trusted people, have a vested interest in hurting them.” ― Ross Rosenberg

56.“You love someone. You don’t leave her to drown. And you don’t tell her she’s crazier than she already knows that she is!” ― Caitlín R. Kiernan

57. “Conspiracy theories of the feeble or gaslighting of the twisted.” ― Et Imperatrix Noctem

58. “Gaslighting their partners into believing the abuse isn’t real by denying, minimizing or rationalizing the abuse. This includes deflecting any conversations about accountability using circular conversations and word salad in order to avoid being held accountable for their actions.” ― Shahida Arabi

59. “If you alter your behaviour because you are frightened of how your partner will react, you are being abused.” ― Sandra Horley

60. “Some people will label you as vindictive, unforgiving or even evil for not allowing them to hurt you, yet again.” ― Wayne Gerard Trotman

Signs of gaslighting

The first sign of gaslighting is lying, especially about things you know to be true.

It doesn’t matter the size of the lie.

In fact, it will probably start out with small, seemingly insignificant things.

That behavior of lying will also turn into them denying things.

If you try to bring up something they said or did, and they deny it, be careful.

This will start eating away at your sanity and leaving you to question if you are losing your mind.

Someone who is gaslighting you will also criticize you and say nasty things but follow it up with positive phrases or actions.

This keeps you unbalanced and confused, just like how they want you to feel.

If you never know what version of someone you are going to get, then they might be gaslighting you.

Overall, they will do whatever they can to keep you guessing and confused.

This slow erosion of your confidence will eventually take its toll on you.

It is important to remember that things do not happen overnight but are part of a slow process designed to wear you down.

What’s your biggest takeaway from these gaslighting quotes and sayings?

Share some of your experiences with gaslighting with us in the comments below.

You never know if your story might help someone else recognize what is happening in their relationships.