A look at the dictionary’s definition of charming, reveals a variety of descriptive words and terms. These expressions cover a range of explanations and illustrations of what it means to be charming. Some of these words and phrases represent charming by using physical characteristics: good-looking, attractive, easy on the eye, on fleek, and gorgeous.
Others explain charming in terms of behavioral connotations: hypnotizing, mesmerizing, beguiling, spellbinding, entrancing, bewitching, captivating. While some use designations that are typically associated with arousal or sexuality: seductive, babelicious, bodacious, desirable, comely.
When you review the scope of these definitions, it becomes clear that developing, mastering, and displaying charm requires some flexibility and diversification in how you act, think, dress, and present yourself.
Being charming is by no means a one-dimensional trait that is merely superficial and lacks depth. While, you can have or display a single or a few charming features; to gain full recognition as a charming person, you must show a variety of qualities across several categories.
So, if you are trying to figure out how to be charming, consider these ten practical suggestions as a starting point:
How to be charming
1. Develop and display confidence and presence
Your attitude, demeanor, posture, decisiveness, and self-esteem will immediately draw the attention of those you meet. These traits help to build real interest and physical appeal. The definition of beauty may vary from person to person.
Likewise, everyone may have a different fashion sense or style. But, if you can capture the attention of others based on an impressive manner and hopeful perspective, they will also use more than initial physical evaluation or style assessments to sum-up your appeal level.
2. Exhibit vulnerability
Revealing your emotions and concerns lets others know that you much like them have human frailties – weaknesses. So, it makes you easily relatable. This characteristic draws others to you because you are willing to let down your guard and trust them.
When you open the door to trust in your interactions, it can create instant attractions and become a show of strength because through this; you can captivate great attention. Showing your vulnerability without fear can open the door for others to do the same, and in so doing, people may regard you as a leader.
3. Communicate through active listening
When you communicate with others, you typically want to get your point across, share your views, present your findings, or display your knowledge. The opportunity to share their story or their idea is essential to most people.
So, when you listen intently and allow others to present the information, they wish without disruptions, and by demonstrating attentiveness, you may realize that they find you endearing because your action represents kindness and caring.
Also, listening allows you to carefully discern the things that are important or of great concern to others. This information gives you a head start in knowing what to share or which subject are sensitive to others. So, when you interact in the future, you can be prepared on how to respond to these topics.
4. Hold substantive, not frivolous conversations
You’ve heard of small-talk, chitter chatter – unimportant and unlikely to stir debate, concern or emotions. Well, too much small-talk gets very dull. To capture and hold the curiosity of others, you need to engage in discussions that are meaty, meaningful, and of concern to all parties.
Simply talking about generic things like the weather can only hold the attention span for a short period. But, having lengthy talks that reveal your stance on specific topics, disclose your knowledge level of relevant subjects, and show your interest in particular matters can command attention and become riveting or even mesmerizing.
5. Cultivate and use your sense of humor
Laughter is a tool for building camaraderie and captivating attention. So, to gain notice from an individual or a group, make them smile and make them laugh.
The good feeling that emanates from the smiles and laughter will work in your favor as you will draw crowd reaction whenever you walk into a room. You may find that your very presence becomes spell-binding as everyone wants to hear what humorous and uplifting thought you have to share.
More tips on how to be charming
6. Respectfully, personalize your conversations and interactions
Relax and present a friendly disposition as opposed to a stoic and business-like demeanor in your social interactions. Treat people as if you’ve known them for a long time, but maintain a high level of respect.
Do not use rude language. Slight touches in a courteous manner during conversation may build attraction. However, be careful that you do not cross the line of sexually appropriate behavior.
Look directly at the person you are speaking with – be present at the moment. Don’t focus your attention on others or other sections of the room, while your lips spew words with no thought to the person or persons with whom you are supposed to be speaking.
7. Show insight and passion
In everything that you do, show that your knowledge, interest, and concern go below the surface. Demonstrate your deep understanding of topics that are at the forefront of the day.
Discuss your point of view with vigor and conviction; but not with anger and disdain for other opinions. Show those around that you are not just aware; but that you also care.
8. Foster patience
It’s been said that “patience is a virtue,” and by mastering this attribute, you can calmly draw others to you in a state of hypnosis leaving them feeling mesmerized.
Patience is a combination of restraint, kindness, and determination. These three can work together to paint a soft and attractive perspective of your overall being and garner great desire and willingness to be in your presence.
9. Be unique – not run of the mill
Whenever you stand-out in the crowd, you stir the curiosity and interest of others. Differences are not necessarily negative. Instead, they can be admirable and positive characteristics.
Also, when you have traits that are significantly different than most other individuals have, many will want to learn more about you, your interests, and desires. Some may find you desirable simply because you are not like anyone they ever met.
Still, while there is nothing wrong with being like or doing what others do, your unique qualities can work as tools of seduction and attraction to charm those within your reach.
10. Subtle and diplomatic beats blunt and abrasive
Sharp and curt words can leave hurt feelings and a negative perception of the one delivering the information. People are not drawn to those who they expect to say hurtful things or speak of someone in a disparaging manner.
But most people welcome thoughtful and tactful responses or articulation of specific thoughts. A strong message delivered thoughtfully can reduce the potential for explosive behavior and allow the receiver to respond without fear or threat. This method of sharing a message can initiate interactions that result in a charming communication exchange.
Summary: Use charm as a positive tool and not as an element for manipulation.
Have you figured out how to be charming?
So, there you have it, a few suggestions to build your charm factor. Don’t take this lightly, because building charm doesn’t necessarily mean taking on an effort to be slick and worm your way into people’s world for personal satisfaction or gain.
Instead, remember that building charm is a valid way of developing tools to facilitate desirable human interactions. Charm gives you the ease to associate and communicate in all situations without worry or fear.