Jimmy Fallon Quotes On Life, Politics and Show Business
June 30, 2022 5:00 AM EST
These Jimmy Fallon quotes are sure to put a smile on the face of any fan of the famous talk show host.
If you have a favorite of these quotes, be sure to share it in the comments below!
I would find it hard to believe that I am the only one who secretly wishes that Jimmy Fallon was my big brother, or at least my BFF.
No one can say that they do not wait for the few times a year when he is able to get his real-life BFF, Justin Timberlake (I will share, as you are kind of talented and adorable in your own right).
I live for Friday nights as he writes his “Thank You Notes”.
So I thought I would share 70 of his random and greatest quotes.
I am ready to share a hoagie with you.
You are Top of the Rock, any time you are, Jimmy.
Also, check out our most popular quote article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily wisdom.
See the rest of our quote database for even more inspirational ideas and thoughts.
Funny Jimmy Fallon quotes about success and life
1. “Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I’d have an excuse.” – Jimmy Fallon
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2. “Live your life by doing activities that are beneficial.” – Jimmy Fallon
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3. “Life is like a clam, when it opens, you gotta grab the gooey stuff.” – Jimmy Fallon
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4. “Seek, and you shall be disappointed. Knock, and the door shall be slammed in your face.” – Jimmy Fallon
5. “Everyone looks so much better when they smile.”- Jimmy Fallon
6. “I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.” – Jimmy Fallon
7. “I don’t even read the papers. I read ‘USA Today’ because it has color photos.”- Jimmy Fallon
8. “I don’t like to kick people when they’re down. I like to kick people when they’re up.”- Jimmy Fallon
9. “I’m going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.”- Jimmy Fallon
10. “I like to see people who are normally serious laugh.”- Jimmy Fallon
11. “Arnold Schwarzenegger’s publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for governor of California, saying that he will make a decision soon. Reportedly Arnold needs that time to learn how to pronounce ‘gubernatorial.’”- Jimmy Fallon
12. “You only think of the best comeback when you leave.”- Jimmy Fallon
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to check out our collection of comeback quotes to help you bounce back.
13. “I didn’t act like I was there. I just got into the story.”- Jimmy Fallon
14. “You can’t reinvent the wheel. I remember when we first started out at ‘Late Night,’ we were trying to hire directors, and this guy was like, ‘I see you behind a glass desk.’ I don’t. And he’s like, ‘Yeah, the glass desk.’ I go, ‘I don’t really see me as a glass desk guy.”- Jimmy Fallon
15. “I sing in the car if I’m in LA, because you’re like soundproofed.”- Jimmy Fallon
16. “On ‘Late Night,’ it’s like we’re all in on the joke. That’s what I wanted it to be. I’m not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don’t like those. We can all ride together, and everyone’s on the same thing going, ‘Aha, I know where you’re going here.”- Jimmy Fallon
17. “I’d be nothing without my wife. She’s the coolest. She’s the greatest. She is the smartest. She’s the funniest. I love her so much. She’s like the – it’s like your best friend for the rest of your life.” – Jimmy Fallon
18. “My parents were kind of over protective people. I and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn’t let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a basketball hoop and put it in the middle of the lawn! You can’t dribble on grass.”- Jimmy Fallon
19. “Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.”- Jimmy Fallon
20. “I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets… then I got to ‘Saturday Night Live’ where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I’m going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I’m going to go sit with.”- Jimmy Fallon
21. “I wanted to be the next Dana Carve. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’”- Jimmy Fallon
22. “The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.”- Jimmy Fallon
23.. “I do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It.’”- Jimmy Fallon
24. “I just really don’t like being the center of attention that much. It’s kind of ironic.”- Jimmy Fallon
25. “I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I’m just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. ‘What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What’s going’ – you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I’d just start talking like people. You know, I always had that.”- Jimmy Fallon
26. ‘Have fun’ is my message. Be silly. You’re allowed to be silly. There’s nothing wrong with it.- Jimmy Fallon
27. “I like doing energetic things.”- Jimmy Fallon
28. “When I was a kid, you would tune in to ‘The Tonight Show’ before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it’s a privilege of mine to be able to be in people’s homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.”- Jimmy Fallon
29. “I like being absurd. Being silly.”- Jimmy Fallon
Funny Yet Inspiring Jimmy Fallon Quotes
30. “I don’t shoot guns. I don’t know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.”- Jimmy Fallon
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of funny inspirational quotes about life to help you get a quick laugh.
31. “I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I got to say, I’m really rooting for the Red Sox.”- Jimmy Fallon
32. “I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie.”- Jimmy Fallon
33. “In New York, there are so many potholes, they’re like craters on the moon. That’s another traffic thing.”- Jimmy Fallon
34. “People have disliked me. You know, in high school, I wasn’t the most popular kid. I wasn’t the nerdiest kid. I was kind of in the middle.”- Jimmy Fallon
35. “My wife and I had been trying a while to have a baby. We tried a bunch of things – so we had a surrogate.”- Jimmy Fallon
36. “My dad used to work at IBM, so we used to get discounts on computers and stuff, and I did have a ThinkPad.”- Jimmy Fallon
37. “The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.”- Jimmy Fallon
38. “There couldn’t have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It’s beyond baseball. It’s rooting for your family.” – Jimmy Fallon
39. “When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who make balloon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.”- Jimmy Fallon
40. “Politics is pop. Our job as comedians – especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience – is to amplify what we think America is thinking.”- Jimmy Fallon
41. “I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I’m like ‘You know, maybe I shouldn’t be a Priest.’”- Jimmy Fallon
42. “I honestly, purposely have not gone to therapy because I know some crazy stuff’s going to be dragged up and, you know, I’ll be like, ‘Wait, what?’”- Jimmy Fallon
43. “If you’re a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don’t have a choice.”- Jimmy Fallon
44. “Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.”- Jimmy Fallon
45. “I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch.”- Jimmy Fallon
46. “The running across the field thing that was the first scene we shot in the movie. We asked the audience to stay for the scene, and 37,000 people stayed.”- Jimmy Fallon
Jimmy Fallon Quotes To Make You Smile
47. “Thank you… motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I’m waving hello to a wall robot.”- Jimmy Fallon
48. “Thank you… Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Now it’s just like the iPhone except it can’t make calls. So basically, it’s just like the iPhone.- Jimmy Fallon
49. “Thank you… fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would’ve happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.”- Jimmy Fallon
50. “Thank you… adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for being a great way to say, ‘Hi, I’m over 80 years old.’”- Jimmy Fallon
51. “Thank you, people who say ‘Wow, you’re really photogenic,’ for not saying what you really mean: ‘Wow, you’re really ugly in person.’”- Jimmy Fallon
52. “Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.”- Jimmy Fallon
53. “Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: ‘We think we’re important enough to charge money for our garbage.’”- Jimmy Fallon
54. “Researchers tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn’t get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, ‘Thank you?’”- Jimmy Fallon
55. “Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.”- Jimmy Fallon
56. “I’m on so late I’m definitely the last seconds of anyone’s attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, ‘That’s funny,’ then fall asleep.”- Jimmy Fallon
More Jimmy Fallon quotes and sayings
57. “Thank you… preseason football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the regular season, but with none of the mattering. I appreciate it. Thank you.”- Jimmy Fallon
58. “We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you’re a pretty good fan. You don’t have to win everything to be a fan of something.”- Jimmy Fallon
59. “My wife and I got engaged in New Hampshire at this lake house that her family’s had forever, and it’s on Lake Winnipesaukee. And so we went there every summer as we were dating.”- Jimmy Fallon
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60. “We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car, up in the air and over to another car in a continuous shot while the film was still rolling, going 90 mph.”- Jimmy Fallon
61. “Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world’s lamest Ghostbuster. I am not afraid of no leaves.”- Jimmy Fallon
62. “Thank you… fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.”- Jimmy Fallon
63. “Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to what they are saying.” – Jimmy Fallon
64. “New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That’s encouraging, considering an eight-ounce jar of hazelnuts costs about nine dollars. Yeah, I’ve got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs.”- Jimmy Fallon
65. “Don’t keep reaching for the stars because you’ll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason”- Jimmy Fallon
66. “I want to be a dad. That’s floating to the top of my list. I think it’s such an important thing. I’m at the age where everyone has kids, and I ask them, ‘Is it like a puppy?’ And they go, ‘It’s 10 times a puppy.’”- Jimmy Fallon
67. “I often try to reassure myself by saying, ” Well, at least it can’t get any worse.” But the truth is, it always can. And that’s what really terrifies me.” – Jimmy Fallon
68. “Did you ever sit back and evaluate your life and think, “Boy, things are going just as I always wanted them to?” I didn’t think so.” – Jimmy Fallon
Which Jimmy Fallon quotes were your favorite?
Rarely have you seen a more personable, down to earth, and naturally humorous man as Jimmy Fallon.
May his wit – and hidden wisdom – inspire you to be the best that you can be today.
December 31, 2018 at 11:42 PM
Taco shells……SO TRUE!!!
ALOT of them are good …..thanks Jimmy for the laughs….thinking…..more laughs and all without profanity. Who knew 🐣