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Jimmy Fallon Quotes On Life, Politics and Show Business

Looking for hilarious Jimmy Fallon quotes on success, life and poltics?

I would find it hard to believe that I am the only one who secretly wishes that Jimmy Fallon was my big brother, or at least my BFF. No one can say that they do not wait for the few times a year when he is able to get his real life BFF, Justin Timberlake (I will share, as you are kind of talented and adorable in your own right).

I live for Friday nights as he writes his “Thank You Notes”. So I thought I would share 70 of his random and greatest quotes. I am ready to share a hoagie with you. You are Top of the Rock, any time you are, Jimmy.

Funny Jimmy Fallon quotes about success and life

1. “Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I’d have an excuse.” – Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon about being on TV

2. “I’d be nothing without my wife. She’s the coolest. She’s the greatest. She is the smartest. She’s the funniest. I love her so much. She’s like the – it’s like your best friend for the rest of your life.” – Jimmy Fallon

3. “Everyone looks so much better when they smile.”- Jimmy Fallon

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4. “New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That’s encouraging, considering an eight-ounce jar of hazelnuts costs about nine dollars. Yeah, I’ve got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs.”- Jimmy Fallon

5. “Don’t keep reaching for the stars because you’ll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason”- Jimmy Fallon

6. “I want to be a dad. That’s floating to the top of my list. I think it’s such an important thing. I’m at the age where everyone has kids, and I ask them, ‘Is it like a puppy?’ And they go, ‘It’s 10 times a puppy.’”- Jimmy Fallon

7. “I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets… then I got to ‘Saturday Night Live’ where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I’m going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I’m going to go sit with.”- Jimmy Fallon

8. “I do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It.’”- Jimmy Fallon

9. “I’m going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.”- Jimmy Fallon

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10. “I like to see people who are normally serious laugh.”- Jimmy Fallon

11. “Arnold Schwarzenegger’s publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for governor of California, saying that he will make a decision soon. Reportedly Arnold needs that time to learn how to pronounce ‘gubernatorial.’”- Jimmy Fallon

12. “You only think of the best comeback when you leave.”- Jimmy Fallon
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to check out our collection of comeback quotes to help you bounce back.

13. “I didn’t act like I was there. I just got into the story.”- Jimmy Fallon

14. “You can’t reinvent the wheel. I remember when we first started out at ‘Late Night,’ we were trying to hire directors, and this guy was like, ‘I see you behind a glass desk.’ I don’t. And he’s like, ‘Yeah, the glass desk.’ I go, ‘I don’t really see me as a glass desk guy.”- Jimmy Fallon

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15. “I sing in the car if I’m in LA, because you’re like soundproofed.”- Jimmy Fallon

16. “On ‘Late Night,’ it’s like we’re all in on the joke. That’s what I wanted it to be. I’m not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don’t like those. We can all ride together, and everyone’s on the same thing going, ‘Aha, I know where you’re going here.”- Jimmy Fallon

17. “I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.”- Jimmy Fallon

18. “My parents were kind of over protective people. I and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn’t let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a basketball hoop and put it in the middle of the lawn! You can’t dribble on grass.”- Jimmy Fallon

19. “Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.”- Jimmy Fallon

20. “I don’t even read the papers. I read ‘USA Today’ because it has color photos.”- Jimmy Fallon

21. “I wanted to be the next Dana Carve. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on ‘Saturday Night Live.’”- Jimmy Fallon

22. “The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.”- Jimmy Fallon

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23. “I don’t like to kick people when they’re down. I like to kick people when they’re up.”- Jimmy Fallon

24. “I just really don’t like being the center of attention that much. It’s kind of ironic.”- Jimmy Fallon

25. “I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I’m just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. ‘What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What’s going’ – you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I’d just start talking like people. You know, I always had that.”- Jimmy Fallon

26. ‘Have fun’ is my message. Be silly. You’re allowed to be silly. There’s nothing wrong with it.- Jimmy Fallon

27. “I like doing energetic things.”- Jimmy Fallon

28. “When I was a kid, you would tune in to ‘The Tonight Show’ before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it’s a privilege of mine to be able to be in people’s homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.”- Jimmy Fallon

29. “I like being absurd. Being silly.”- Jimmy Fallon

Funny Yet Inspiring Jimmy Fallon Quotes

30. “I don’t shoot guns. I don’t know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.”- Jimmy Fallon

If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of funny inspirational quotes about life to help you get a quick laugh.

31. “I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I got to say, I’m really rooting for the Red Sox.”- Jimmy Fallon

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32. “I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie.”- Jimmy Fallon

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33. “In New York, there are so many potholes, they’re like craters on the moon. That’s another traffic thing.”- Jimmy Fallon

34. “People have disliked me. You know, in high school, I wasn’t the most popular kid. I wasn’t the nerdiest kid. I was kind of in the middle.”- Jimmy Fallon

35. “My wife and I had been trying a while to have a baby. We tried a bunch of things – so we had a surrogate.”- Jimmy Fallon

36. “My dad used to work at IBM, so we used to get discounts on computers and stuff, and I did have a ThinkPad.”- Jimmy Fallon

37. “The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.”- Jimmy Fallon

38. “There couldn’t have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It’s beyond baseball. It’s rooting for your family.” – Jimmy Fallon

39. “When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who make balloon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.”- Jimmy Fallon

40. “Politics is pop. Our job as comedians – especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience – is to amplify what we think America is thinking.”- Jimmy Fallon

41. “I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I’m like ‘You know, maybe I shouldn’t be a Priest.’”- Jimmy Fallon

42. “I honestly, purposely have not gone to therapy because I know some crazy stuff’s going to be dragged up and, you know, I’ll be like, ‘Wait, what?’”- Jimmy Fallon

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43. “If you’re a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don’t have a choice.”- Jimmy Fallon

44. “Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.”- Jimmy Fallon

45. “I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch.”- Jimmy Fallon

46. “The running across the field thing that was the first scene we shot in the movie. We asked the audience to stay for the scene, and 37,000 people stayed.”- Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Quotes To Make You Smile

47. “Thank you… motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I’m waving hello to a wall robot.”- Jimmy Fallon

48. “Thank you… Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Now it’s just like the iPhone except it can’t make calls. So basically, it’s just like the iPhone.- Jimmy Fallon

49. “Thank you… fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would’ve happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.”- Jimmy Fallon

50. “Thank you… adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for being a great way to say, ‘Hi, I’m over 80 years old.’”- Jimmy Fallon

51. “Thank you, people who say ‘Wow, you’re really photogenic,’ for not saying what you really mean: ‘Wow, you’re really ugly in person.’”- Jimmy Fallon

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52. “Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.”- Jimmy Fallon

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53. “Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: ‘We think we’re important enough to charge money for our garbage.’”- Jimmy Fallon

54. “Researchers tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn’t get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, ‘Thank you?’”- Jimmy Fallon

55. “Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.”- Jimmy Fallon

56. “I’m on so late I’m definitely the last seconds of anyone’s attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, ‘That’s funny,’ then fall asleep.”- Jimmy Fallon

More Jimmy Fallon quotes and sayings

57. “Thank you… preseason football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the regular season, but with none of the mattering. I appreciate it. Thank you.”- Jimmy Fallon

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58. “We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you’re a pretty good fan. You don’t have to win everything to be a fan of something.”- Jimmy Fallon

59. “My wife and I got engaged in New Hampshire at this lake house that her family’s had forever, and it’s on Lake Winnipesaukee. And so we went there every summer as we were dating.”- Jimmy Fallon

If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of lake quotes to bring your life peace.

60. “We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car, up in the air and over to another car in a continuous shot while the film was still rolling, going 90 mph.”- Jimmy Fallon

61. “Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world’s lamest Ghostbuster. I am not afraid of no leaves.”- Jimmy Fallon

62. “Thank you… fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.”- Jimmy Fallon

63. “Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to what they are saying.” – Jimmy Fallon

64. “Live your life by doing activities that are beneficial.” – Jimmy Fallon

65. “Life is like a clam, when it opens, you gotta grab the gooey stuff.” – Jimmy Fallon

66. “Seek, and you shall be disappointed. Knock, and the door shall be slammed in your face.” – Jimmy Fallon

67. “I often try to reassure myself by saying, ” Well, at least it can’t get any worse.” But the truth is, it always can. And that’s what really terrifies me.” – Jimmy Fallon

68. “Did you ever sit back and evaluate your life and think, “Boy, things are going just as I always wanted them to?” I didn’t think so.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Which Jimmy Fallon quotes were your favorite?               

Rarely have you seen a more personable, down to earth, and naturally humorous man as Jimmy Fallon. May his wit – and hidden wisdom – inspire you to be the best that you can be today.

Dr. Nikki Martinez, Lead Contributor
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1 Comment
  1. Carol

    December 31, 2018 at 11:42 PM

    Taco shells……SO TRUE!!!
    ALOT of them are good …..thanks Jimmy for the laughs….thinking…..more laughs and all without profanity. Who knew 🐣

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