It’s been 17 years since Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story was released and since then this film has become a comedy classic. We hope you enjoy these hilarious Dodgeball quotes.
In 2004 Dodgeball, starring Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn was released to mixed reviews. But despite lower critical ratings at first, this film has gone on to stand the test of time and is now a modern comedy classic.
Silly, funny, and a little bit weird, Dodgeball follows a group of misfits led by Peter Le Fleur (Vince Vaughn) who enter Las Vegas’s Dodgeball tournament in order to save Le Fleur’s gym from being overtaken by a corporate gym chain run by White Goodman (Ben Stiller). It’s the story of true underdogs who go against some of the world’s best and most villainous dodgeball athletes in order to save a place that they love.
We hope these Dodgeball quotes take you back to the first time you saw this movie and make you laugh harder than ever before.
Don’t forget to also check out these Beetlejuice quotes for the strange and unusual.
Classic Dodgeball movie quotes
1. “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” — Patches O’Houlihan
2. “Oh, I don’t think I’m a lot dumber than you think that I thought that I thought I was once.” — White Goodman
3. “We ARE the Globo Gym Purple Cobras … and we will, we will, rock you!” — White Goodman
4. “I know you. You know you. You know that I know that I know you.” — White Goodman
5. “F*ck you, Chuck Norris!” — White Goodman
6. “Remember the 5 D’s of dodgeball: Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.” — Patches O’Houlihan
Best Dodgeball quotes and one-liners
7. “L for ‘love.’ Good times.” — Gordon
8. “Thank you, Chuck Norris.” — Peter LaFleur
9. “Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!” — White Goodman
10. “I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.” — Kate Veatch
11. “Ouchtown, population: You, bro!” — Pepper Brooks
12. “I guess you’re right, I’m not really a Pirate.” — Steve the Pirate
13. “You’re about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.” — Patches O’Houlihan
14. “Line up ladies!” — Patches O’Houlihan
Best Dodgeball quotes and lines from White Goodman
15. “Peekaboo!” — White Goodman
16. “We shouldn’t be shackled up the employer/employee relationship…unless you’re into that kind of stuff a ha ha, cause I got some shackles in the back! a haha, just kidding, but really, I got them.” — White Goodman
17. “It’s called the Freedom of Information Act, Kate. The hippies finally got something right! Haha! Just kidding. But not really.” — White Goodman
18. “In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I never been there, but I read about it… in a book.” — White Goodman
19. “Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, like baldness or necrophilia, and it’s your fault if you don’t hate yourself enough to do something about it.” — White Goodman
20. I love happy endings. You know, that’s the problem with… the American cinema: can’t handle any complexity in it, you know? “Don’t make me think, I just wanna be entertained”. — White Goodman
21. “Yeh, that’s me taking the bull by the horns, it’s how I like to run my business. It’s a metaphor. But that actually happened though.” — White Goodman
22. “We’re opening a new Globo Gym in Mexico City, so I’ve been boning up on my Spanish.” — White Goodman
23. “My gym is worth more than four million dollars, your gym isn’t even worth four. My gym has stockholders, your gym doesn’t even have cup holders.” — White Goodman
24. “Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey… Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.” — White Goodman
Funny Dodgeball quotes
25. “Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn’t have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you, Peter. I’m sure this decision won’t haunt you forever.” — Lance Armstrong
26. “Bollocks!” — Steve the Pirate
27. “Because I think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” — Owen
28. “Maybe we could pay it off in Canadian Dollars and save ourselves some money!” — Owen
29. “If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.” — Patches O’Houlihan
30. “I drink my own urine cause it’s sterile and it tastes good.” — Patches O’Houlihan
31. “That’s a bold move, Cotton.” — Pepper Brooks
32. “I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don’t have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya… it feels phenomenal.” — Peter La Fleur
33. “Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion, and degradation.” — Patches O’Houlihan
34. “Hey, White. I didn’t think that Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?” — Peter La Fleur
35. “Too bad Hallmark doesn’t make a “Sorry your dodgeball coach got killed by two tons of irony” card.” — Peter La Fleur
Did you enjoy these Dodgeball quotes?
Though Dodgeball is undoubtedly one of the greatest comedies of the 21st century, it apparently wasn’t all fun and games to film. The actors were required to train rigorously by attending a “dodgeball boot camp” several times a week.
The brutal training must not have been enough though because Christine Taylor (who played Kate Veatch) was accidentally hit in the face twice by her husband Ben Stiller, once while rehearsing and once on set.
Justin Long, who played Average Joe’s teammate, Justin, was also hurt several times while filming. In the scene when a wrench was thrown at his face, the wrench (which was rubber) caught his skin and caused a nasty cut. Another time, during the film’s training montage, Long was hit with enough dodgeballs that he was left “slightly concussed.”
In any case, none of the actors were left too permanently damaged and we’re glad they were able to tough it out long enough to finish making this comedy gem.
We hope you enjoyed these Dodgeball quotes and lines. Let us know your favorite quote in the comments below.
April 29, 2021 7:00 AM EST