25 Hilarious Dodgeball Quotes From Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

We hope you enjoy these hilarious Dodgeball quotes.

It’s been over 17 years since Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story was released and since then this film has become a comedy classic.

In 2004 Dodgeball, starring Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn, was released to mixed reviews.

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But despite lower critical ratings, this film has stood the test of time and is now a modern comedy classic.

Silly, funny, and a little weird, Dodgeball follows a group of misfits led by Peter Le Fleur (Vince Vaughn) who enter Las Vegas’s Dodgeball tournament to save Le Fleur’s gym from being overtaken by a corporate gym chain run by White Goodman (Ben Stiller).

It’s the story of true underdogs who go against some of the world’s best and most villainous dodgeball athletes in order to save a place that they love.

We can learn several lessons from Dodgeball, like:

• there are things in life you will need to dodge
• it is ok to hit the floor sometimes and stay there until the coast is clear
• give up control sometimes and make the moves necessary to keep the momentum going

We hope these Dodgeball quotes take you back to the first time you saw this movie and make you laugh harder than ever before.

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If you like this article, we suggest you explore our most popular quotes article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily encouragement.

 Check out more inspirational quotes on our motivational quotes category page.

Classic Dodgeball movie quotes

1. “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” — Patches O’Houlihan

2. “Oh, I don’t think I’m a lot dumber than you think that I thought that I thought I was once.” — White Goodman

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3. “We ARE the Globo Gym Purple Cobras … and we will, we will, rock you!” — White Goodman

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4. “I know you. You know you. You know that I know that I know you.” — White Goodman

5. F*ck you, Chuck Norris!” — White Goodman

6. “Remember the 5 D’s of dodgeball: Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.” — Patches O’Houlihan

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Best Dodgeball quotes and one-liners

7. “L for ‘love.’ Good times.” — Gordon

8. “Thank you, Chuck Norris.” — Peter LaFleur

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9. “Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!” — White Goodman

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10. “I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.” — Kate Veatch

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11. “Ouchtown, population: You, bro!” — Pepper Brooks

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12. “I guess you’re right, I’m not really a Pirate.” — Steve the Pirate

13. “You’re about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.” — Patches O’Houlihan

14. “Line up ladies!” — Patches O’Houlihan

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Best Dodgeball quotes and lines from White Goodman

15. “Peekaboo!” — White Goodman

16. “We shouldn’t be shackled up the employer/employee relationship…unless you’re into that kind of stuff a ha ha, cause I got some shackles in the back! a haha, just kidding, but really, I got them.” — White Goodman

17. “It’s called the Freedom of Information Act, Kate. The hippies finally got something right! Haha! Just kidding. But not really.” — White Goodman

18. “In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I never been there, but I read about it… in a book.” — White Goodman

19. “Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, like baldness or necrophilia, and it’s your fault if you don’t hate yourself enough to do something about it.” — White Goodman

20. I love happy endings. You know, that’s the problem with… the American cinema: can’t handle any complexity in it, you know? “Don’t make me think, I just wanna be entertained”. — White Goodman

21. “Yeh, that’s me taking the bull by the horns, it’s how I like to run my business. It’s a metaphor. But that actually happened though.” — White Goodman

22. “We’re opening a new Globo Gym in Mexico City, so I’ve been boning up on my Spanish.” — White Goodman

23. “My gym is worth more than four million dollars, your gym isn’t even worth four. My gym has stockholders, your gym doesn’t even have cup holders.” — White Goodman

24. “Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey… Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.” — White Goodman

Funny Dodgeball quotes

25. “Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn’t have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you, Peter. I’m sure this decision won’t haunt you forever.” — Lance Armstrong

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Though Dodgeball is undoubtedly one of the greatest comedies of the 21st century, it apparently wasn’t all fun and games to film.

The actors were required to train rigorously by attending a “dodgeball boot camp” several times a week.

The brutal training must not have been enough though because Christine Taylor (who played Kate Veatch) was accidentally hit in the face twice by her husband Ben Stiller, once while rehearsing and once on set.

Justin Long, who played Average Joe’s teammate, Justin, was also hurt several times while filming.

In the scene when a wrench was thrown at his face, the wrench (which was rubber) caught his skin and caused a nasty cut.

Another time, during the film’s training montage, Long was hit with enough dodgeballs and was left “slightly concussed.”

None of the actors were left permanently damaged and we’re glad they could tough it out long enough to finish making this comedy gem.

We hope you enjoyed these Dodgeball quotes and lines.

Let us know your favorite quote in the comments below.

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