Everyone seems to have an opinion on tough love; as you can see from these tough love quotes from presidents, supermodels, actors, and authors.
Tough love is usually a concept that comes up when people are discussing how to be a “good” parent. Some are convinced that tough love is the only way to raise children that are thoughtful, moral, and productive members of society.
Other parents hear this phrase and visibly cringe, imagining all sorts of horrible abuse children will suffer under the claim of tough love. The reason here is that what one person considers tough love, and what another deems tough love, is not the same thing. There is no real standard.
The actual definition of tough love doesn’t offer much help, either. It states that tough love is the “promotion of a person’s welfare, especially that of an addict, child, or criminal, by enforcing certain constraints on them or requiring them to take responsibility for their actions.”
Who is this deciding person about what is good for someone else’s welfare? That is an important distinction in my mind.
Also, the three groups the definition brings up are groups of people who are often the most abused and neglected parts of our society, so I think it is important to monitor what is happening to them under the guise of “tough love.”
Keep reading for examples of tough love and what people think it means with these tough love quotes.
Don’t forget to also check out these discipline quotes to fuel your perseverance.
Tough love quotes for parents who are wondering which path to take
1. “Your job as a parent is to listen. And to dole out as much love as you can. That includes tough love.” ― Christie Brinkley
2. “It takes tough love to order kids to step away from the iPhone or iPad during dinner or to take the devices away if they’re interrupting and interfering with everyone else’s pleasure at a movie, concert or other public event.” ― Regina Brett
3. “One cannot prevent abuse through discipline when abuse and discipline feel exactly the same.” ― Joyce Rachelle
4. “I mean, most parents would be proud of a kid like that – good-lookin’ and smart and everything, but they gave in to him all the time. He kept trying to make someone say ‘No’ and they never did. They never did. That was what he wanted. For somebody to tell him ‘No.’ To have somebody lay down the law, set the limits, give him something solid to stand on. That’s what we all want, really.” ― S. E. Hinton
5. “What parents need to teach their children is not how to keep from falling down, but rather to understand that, no matter how many times they fall down, they can always get up again! Right! … It’s like that proverb! The one about the lion pushing his own cubs over the cliff to make them tough… Hey! I got it, Mayama!! Next time you see Yamada, drag her up to the roof and throw her over! That’s not tough love, that’s homicide!” ― Chika Umino
6. “I got a lot of support from my parents. That’s the one thing I always appreciated. They didn’t tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny. “ ― Jim Carrey
7. “My parents loved us, but I wasn’t always sure they liked us.” ― Tahereh Maf
8. “Where parents do too much for their children, the children will not do much for themselves.” ― Elbert Hubbard
9. “If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent. “ ― Bette Davis
10. “Loving a child doesn’t mean giving in to all his whims; to love him is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult.” ― Nadia Boulanger
11. “The greatest gift a parent can give a child is unconditional love. As a child wanders and strays, finding his bearings, he needs a sense of absolute love from a parent. There’s nothing wrong with tough love, as long as the love is unconditional.” ― George W. Bush
12. “It takes tremendous strength and resolve to allow your kids to suffer the consequences of their decisions.” ― Smart Money, Smart KIds
Tough love quotes about relationships and friendships
13. “You realize that tough love is also tough on the lover.” ― Julian Barnes, The Only Story
14. “An acquaintance merely enjoys your company, a fair-weather companion flatters when all is well, a true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear.” ― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
15. “Tough love and brutal truth from strangers are far more valuable than Band-Aids and half-truths from invested friends, who don’t want to see you suffer any more than you have.” ― Shannon L. Alder
16. “And at the end of the day, we all just want someone to tell us when we are heading down the wrong path. That is true tough love.” ― Unknown
17. “There aren’t really many compliments flying around with me and my friends. It’s a lot of tough love. But you know, that love is there and if you need to have a serious conversation, you just gotta wait for the right time to do it.” ― Mark Wahlberg
18. “If someone offers you ‘tough love’, run screaming for the door.” ― Marty Rubin
19. “Once someone’s hurt you, it’s harder to relax around them, harder to think of them as safe to love…” ― Skylar Blue
20. “Gotta love a woman that can hand you your own ass.” ― Penelope Douglas, Until You
21. “It’s tough love. They know I care.” ― Leo Nesmith
22. “Love isn’t about rules. It’s a feeling. You know when it’s there and when it’s not, and it can be brought on by different things for different people. That, that’s truth. One’s truth leads to God. Some people see it in kindness, others in tough love, like you’re showing me. Someone’s truth is in what they love.” ― A.D. Aliwat, In Limbo
Tough love quotes about certain situations and whether it is good or bad
23. “I believe in tough love. But for tough love to work, love must come first. We must love tough to bring out the best in those who lead.” ― Jon Gordon
24. “Sometimes giving into that tough love is exactly what you need.” ― Anonymous
25. “I am tough, and sometimes I tell it like it is. Tough love can work wonders.” ― Bikram Choudhury
26. “In a world that has gone soft, tough love is a necessity.” ― Asad Meah
27. “Tough love will either break you or it will make you into the person that you can truly be.” ― Asad Meah
28. “If you listen long enough, you can hear my skin grow tough love is painful to the touch must be made of stronger stuff.” ― Tom Petty
29. “Sometimes you must seem to hurt something in order to do good for it.” ― Susan Cooper
30. “Receiving tough love is never easy, especially when you know the person is right.” ― Anonymous
31. “Tough love is just the right phrase: love for the rich and privileged, tough for everyone else.” ― Noam Chomsky
32. “What’s the difference between tough love and acting like a jerk?” ― Ricki Lake
33. “No, I don’t believe in tough love. I just believe in love.” ― David Sheff
34. “This tough-love, winner-take-all narrative dominating policymaking is far too limited a way to think about how a complex, modern, diverse economy like ours expands and thrives. The strongest periods of economic growth in the 20th century were also times when incomes rose across the board.” ― John Podesta
35. “Tough love―I’m kind of weary of that. I don’t think it’s so effective.” ― Marguerite Moreau
What is ‘tough love’ quotes and how to describe what it means
36. “Tough love means being firm but kind while setting boundaries and sticking to them.” ― Unknown
37. “Tough love does not mean to be mean. It’s called tough love because accepting the impossibility of changing someone else’s behavior is tough to do.” ― Unknown
38. “Real love is tough love.” ― Unknown
39. “Tough love is what we need to really ask ourselves, ‘What am I even doing?’” ― Anonymous
40. “Real love is tough love. Why? Because it’s never easy. It hurts the giver far more than the receiver.” ― Bobby W. Miller
41. “Tough love is the hardest to give.” ― Octavia Spencer
42. “Words ride on the energy of tone, its warmth or coldness; think of tone as the music of how words are expressed. You want this music to be soulful, whether you’re giving sweet talk or tough love.” ― James Cook
Tough love quotes on growth and success
43. “Tough love may be tough to give, but it is a necessity of life and assurance of positive growth.” ― T.F. Hodge
44. “Hope is important. It allows you to survive. But there’s a point where tough love is required if you want to change. Action is necessary. It allows you to live.” ― Brittany Burgunder
45. “You must show tough love to yourself so that you get to the next level.” ― Asad Meah
46. “Over the years, I’ve grown more comfortable with making people uncomfortable because that is when growth can happen. You need a little conflict. You need a little tension. And that is part of my calling. A little tough love goes a long way!” ― Mark Batterson
47. “By not standing firm and by not exercising tough love, we often cause the figurative ‘death’ of others and sometimes ourselves, our goals, our destiny.” ― Deborah Smith Pegues
48. “Tough love makes you tough.” ― Asad Meah
49. “Tough love builds character.” ― Asad Meah
50. “Tough love makes you grow stronger from within.” ― Asad Meah
What did you learn from these tough love quotes?
So, what does tough love actually mean? Again, it is different for everyone, but I certainly agree that people should know and accept the consequences of their actions.
Not just addicts, children, and criminals, but the privileged businessman who cheats the government out of money, too.
People should always understand the ramifications of their words and actions and if they don’t I am ok with others letting them know what those would be, and calling it “tough love.”
However, when dealing with children, who are literally learning how to be people, anything that harms them, doesn’t teach them a real-world lesson, or is outright mean, is not tough love.
Children should absolutely learn that not doing their best doesn’t get them a perfect grade. Or not practicing their sport or instrument will affect the way they play. They shouldn’t learn that they need to be perfect, or worse, get physically punished for not doing those things.
When was the last time your boss hit you for not getting something done? Never should be the answer, so that type of punishment doesn’t teach your child a real consequence of their actions.
A parent’s job is to love, teach, and guide, and sometimes that is very tough. Especially watching your children struggle for something, and if that is what we are referring to as tough love, then so be it. Anything else becomes a troubling grey area.
Now, sure, in a friendship or relationship, and even with your own personal growth, there might be a time where you have to get real and look a part of yourself in the eye. Figuring out how to grow and develop is tough, but no one should need to belittle you to make that point.
What did you learn from these tough love quotes and sayings? Share your thoughts on tough love in the comment section below!
August 31, 2021 7:00 AM EST