134 Funny Sex Quotes Celebrating Relationships, Love And Intimacy

By Stephanie Kirby | Published October 28, 2023

Sexuality, a beautiful and deeply personal aspect of humanity, has captivated minds, ignited desires, and inspired countless artistic expressions, as seen in these sex quotes.

From the poetic verses of renowned authors to the provocative scenes portrayed on the silver screen, the realm of sex has been a subject of fascination and exploration.

These sex quotes celebrate the intricacies, desires, and connections woven within our intimate lives.

Just as Anaïs Nin fearlessly explored the boundaries of passion or Christian Grey ignited fantasies in “Fifty Shades of Grey,” these quotes offer diverse experiences, emotions, and expressions of human sexuality.

So, open your mind, embrace the beauty of desire, and join us as we uncover the profound wisdom and sensuality nestled within these captivating sex quotes.

Tell us your favorite sex quote in the comment section below.

What are the benefits of reading these sex quotes?

Having that special person who you can count on and be your most vulnerable with can be an incredible thing in life.

Both physical and emotional, shared intimacy goes a long way in helping build and maintain a strong relationship.

These love and sex quotes may:

help open your eyes to things you could improve in your relationship
entertain you and help you find humor in your situation
provide you with different perspectives on sex and relationships

Don’t forget to check out these romantic couple quotes to inspire more love and affection.

Check out our most popular quote article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily inspiration.

If you enjoy this collection, check out our inspirational quotes category page.

Marriage and sex quotes

1. “Sex is not marriage but sex is part of marriage.” – Justice Kojo Betil

2. “Sex can be such a stark barometer for a marriage.” – John Eldredge

3. “Love and sex do not sustain a marriage.” – Majid Michel

4. “Sex is about the quality of your entire love life, not the intricate alignment of your bodies.” – Kevin Leman

5. “The deepest moments of intimacy occur when you’re not talking.” – Patricia Love

6. “Sexual energy is just that, it’s energy. And where we choose to expend that energy makes all the difference in the world.” – Joy McMillan

7. “But you shouldn’t give up on having a great sex life once you’re married. Intimacy is key to having a healthy, functional, and overall happy relationship.” – Chris Kraft, Ph.D.

8. “Passionate sex is great. A passionate marriage filled with passionate sex… so much better.” – marriage.com

9. “Couples who schedule time to connect with each other have healthier, happier relationships.” – Chris Kraft, Ph.D.

10. “Done well, marital sexuality can be a supremely healing experience.” – Gary L. Thomas

11. “That’s why the marriage bed is usually a pretty accurate picture of what else is going on in the marriage.” – Kevin Leman

Love, intimacy, and sex quotes

12. “Sex is one of the most powerful gifts God ever created. It was designed to bring a man and woman together in a physical, emotional and spiritual bond that would create, pleasure, intimacy and also procreation.” – Dave and Ashley Willis

13. “Yes, sex involves our bodies. But it doesn’t involve only – or even primarily – our bodies. It’s so much more than that.” – Sheila Wray Gregoire

14. “Intimacy” includes physical closeness and to many, this quickly gets translated to meaning a sexual relationship. Of course, married love includes sex, as it should, but long-married couples will often relate that the sexual part of their relationship is only one of many ways they are intimate with each other.” – foryourmarriage.com

15. “They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

16. “Intimacy is not something that just happens between two people; it is a way of being alive. At every moment, we are choosing either to reveal ourselves or to protect ourselves, to value ourselves or to diminish ourselves, to tell the truth, or to hide. To dive into life or to avoid it. Intimacy is making the choice to be connected to, rather than isolated from, our deepest truth as that moment.” – Geneen Roth

17. “Men and women approach sex very differently. Men make love to feel loved. Women need to feel loved to make love.” – Sheila Wray Gregoire

18. “Sexual intimacy is a continuing process of discovery.” – Sheri Stritof

19. “Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone – and finding that that’s ok with them.” – Alain de Botton

20. “Real intimacy is a sacred experience. It never exposes its secret trust and belonging to the voyeuristic eye of a neon culture. Real intimacy is of the soul, and the soul is reserved.” – John O’Donohue

21. “Intimacy between the husband and wife is one of the characteristics of a healthy marriage. One of the problems is that we have different ideas as to what it means to have intimacy. For some husbands “intimacy” means “sex”. For most wives, intimacy is something far more emotional.” – Dr. Gary Chapman

22. “When we live at the pace of a NASCAR race, sex is one of the first things that goes. Once again, if you want to improve your sex life as a couple, you need to examine your relationship outside the bedroom. What are you doing that is keeping you from sexual intimacy?” – Kevin Leman

23. “Intimacy is a totally different dimension. It is allowing the other to come into you, to see you as you see yourself.” – Osho

Sex quotes about love

24. “Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top.” – Jimmy Dean

25. “True love is not a hide and seek game: in true love, both lovers seek each other.” – Michael Bassey Johnson

26. “You always gain by giving love.” – Reese Witherspoon

27. “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.” – George Sand

28. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss

29. “If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love.” – Princess Diana

30. “We are most alive when we’re in love.” – John Updike

31. “I believe that love takes time. I believe there is such a thing as infatuation at first sight, but not love at first sight.” – Kevin Leman

32. “The only thing we never get enough of is love, and the only thing we never give enough of is love.” – Henry Miller

33. “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle

34. “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” – Erich Segal

35. “Love is friendship that has caught fire.” – Ann Landers

Funny relationship and sex quotes

36. “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” – Billy Crystal

37. “Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain’t over ‘til you both get your cookie.” – Alex Baldwin

38. “I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was ‘the mangoes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.” – Joan Rivers

39. “I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.” – Rodney Dangerfield

Sex quotes to get you in a kinky mood

40. “Physics is like sex; sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.” – Richard Feynman

41. “A good sexual relationship is built on emotional intimacy and closeness.” – Terry Gaspard

42. “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.” – George Bernard Shaw

43. “Sex is emotion in motion.” – Mae West

44. “There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don’t need a bedroom to prove my womanliness.” – Audrey Hepburn

45. “It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover.” – Marge Piercy

46. “Billions of people have had sex. I don’t know how many have actually made love.” – Sheila Way Gregoire

47. “Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.” – W.C. Fields

48. “There is no age limit on the enjoyment of sex. It keeps getting better.” – Florence Henderson

49. “Society has become so obsessed with sex that it seeps from all the pores of our national life.” – Billy Graham

50. “The physical can be awfully fun. But if we see sex only in the physical realm, we miss out on the potential sex has. We degrade it to be far less than it was created to be.” – Sheila Wray Gregoire

51. “Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.” – Charles Bukowski

52. “I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.” – Woody Allen

53. “Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.” – Hunter S. Thompson

54. “A gentleman holds my hand. A man pulls my hair. A soulmate will do both.” – Alessandra Torre

55. “Sex, whatever else it is, is an athletic skill. The more you practice, the more you can, the more you want to, the more you enjoy it, the less it tires you.” – Robert A. Heinlein

Relatable and timely sex quotes

55. “In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind.” – Nora Ephron

56. “I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.” – Chelsea Handler

57. “Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.” – Suze Orman

58.“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.” – Frank Zappa

59.“Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.” – Robert A. Heinlein

60.“There’s nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.” – Billy Joel

61. “Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.” – John Barrymore

62. “When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better. ” – Mae West

63. “There are four basic human needs; food, sleep, sex and revenge.” – Banksy

64. “Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.” – Sophia Loren

Other sex quotes for intimacy

65. “If earnings are to be spent on sex, what’s wrong in earning from the sex.” ― Swapnil Thakur

66. “If you kiss my neck, I’m not responsible for what happens next…” — Stan Dupp

67. “Sex is like money; only too much is enough.” — John Updike

68. No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor.” — Betty Friedan

69. Sex pretty much cures everything.” — Chuck Palahniuk

70. “When sex involves all the senses intensely, it can be like a mystical experience.” — Jim Morrison

71. “I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

72. “‘Sex’ is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.” — Marquis de Sade

73. “Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.” ― Deepak Chopra

74. “The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty, and to someone else if she is plain.”― Oscar Wilde

Sex quotes from Dr. Ruth

75. “Don’t criticize in the sack. Discuss constructively later.” — Dr. Ruth

76. “When it comes to sex, the most important six inches are the ones between the ears.” — Dr. Ruth

77. “Eating an ice cream cone ‘provocatively’ in public can send out a message, if you dare.” — Dr. Ruth

78. “It’s not a competition. No penis can duplicate the vibrations of the vibrator. And no vibrator can replace a penis.” — Dr. Ruth

79. “The principal concern for women is not having an orgasm. But a woman has to take responsibility for her own orgasms.” — Dr. Ruth

80. “Curvy women need to visit a museum. Men have been attracted to those curves forever and still are. They can’t help it and that helps you.” — Dr. Ruth

81. “Boredom is the biggest problem. The same position. Same day of the week. It becomes boring when you don’t bring any added flowers home.” — Dr. Ruth

82. “Engage in sex in the morning, when the testosterone level is highest and after a good night sleep for her. Have a little breakfast, hang the phone off the hook, go back into bed.” — Dr. Ruth

83. “It’s up to the man to not be offended when she tells him what she needs. He shouldn’t say, “I know that!” And he shouldn’t say, “The woman that I had before you had ten orgasms without her telling me anything!” — Dr. Ruth

84. “Most people at one time or another — when they don’t have a sexual relationship — masturbate. They should. But I don’t want them to masturbate the whole day. Relieve the sexual tension, then go out and find a partner.” — Dr. Ruth

Marriage and Sex Quotes

85. “Sex is… perfectly natural. It’s something that’s pleasurable. It’s enjoyable and it enhances a relationship.” – Sue Johanson

86. “Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”― Mae West

87. “Getting married is easy, having sex is easier, but findings someone who can stimulate your mind and make love to your soul, that is rare.” – Habeeb Akande

88. “Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.” ― Marilyn Monroe

89. “There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.” – Mokokoma Mokhonoana

90. “Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex.” – Havelock Ellis

91. “We don’t ask when people age out of singing, or eating ice cream; why would we stop making love?” – Ashton Applewhite

92. “And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It’s good for you.” – Kurt Vonnegut

93. “You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”― Steve Martin

94. “To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth — I count that something of a miracle.” – Henry Miller

95. “I remember the first time I had sex—I kept the receipt.”― Groucho Marx

Sex Quotes To Get You In The Mood

96. “Sex is the best high. It’s better than any drug. I want to die making love because it feels so good.” — Bai Ling

97. “Sex is a body-contact sport. It is safe to watch but more fun to play.” — Thomas Szasz

98. “Love is for the soul and sex is for the body. Both cry out for satisfaction.” — Eric Jerome Dickey

99. “Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love–that’s not so bad either.” — Mae West

100. “It’s so long since I’ve had sex I’ve forgotten who ties up who.” — Joan Rivers

101. “A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.” — Victor Lownes

102. “Sex should be a perfect balance of pain and pleasure. Without that symmetry, sex becomes a routine rather than an indulgence.” — Marquis de Sade

103. “Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.” — Woody Allen

104. “When you don’t have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it’s sex. When you have both, it’s health.” — Marilyn Monroe

105. “Isn’t it interesting how the sounds are the same for an awful nightmare and great sex?” — Rue McClanahan

Sex Quotes To Explore With Your Partner

106. “Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.” — Woody Allen

107. “All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I’ll put it this way – I had it out.” — Rodney Dangerfield

108. “There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats.” — Elton John

109. “Really, sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered – and I still do – which is more important.” — Hermione Gingold

110. “Sex is the driving force on the planet. We should embrace it, not see it as the enemy.” — Hugh Hefner

111. “Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.” — Woody Allen

112. “The major civilizing force in the world is not religion, it is sex.” — Hugh Hefner

113. “Once you see your nature, sex is basically immaterial.” — Bodhidharma

114. “The fact is that young people are going to have sex whether you like it or not.” — Emma Thompson

115. “What holds the world together, as I have learned from bitter experience, is sexual intercourse.” — Henry Miller

Funny Sex Quotes About Intimacy

116. “Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it is a way of showing your appreciation and love to the loved body through her senses.” ― Baris Gencel

117. “Sex is only a three-letter word so how can it be dirty?” ― Erma Bombeck

118. “In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you’re doing.” ― Ray Romano

119. “Nobody dies from lack of sex. It’s lack of love we die from.” ― Margaret Atwood

120. “You musn’t force sex to do the work of love or love to do the work of sex.” ― Mary Mccarthy

121. “Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.” ― Kevin Costner

122. “Sex is a part of love. You shouldn’t go around doing it unless you are in love.” ― Bettie Page

123. “Everyone is having sex until they fall in love. When you fall in love, then it’s making love.” ― Gilbert Arenas

124. “Sex is a flame which uncontrolled may scorch; properly guided, it will light the torch of eternity.” ― Joseph Fetterman

125. “Sexual union is a holy moment in which a part of Heaven flows into the Earth.” ― James Redfield

126. “Writing poetry is like having sex with the universe and the language is just a condom.” ― Tripurari

127. “Sexual liberation is the root of all liberation.” ― J.Adam Snyder

128. “I wanted to be a slut. I rarely had sex with the same girl more than once.” ― Jamie Iredell

129. “Sexual intimacy is a relationship, not just body parts coming together.” ― Ngina Otiende

130. “The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than they have formed an opinion of their own.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

131. “Having sex with a condom is like eating chocolate with the wrap on.” ― Ahmed Mostafa

132. “To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

133. “No one can leave someone they have good sex with. They can try, but they always go back.” ― Jo Nesbø

134. “Sex seemed like a thing that might only happen to me at random, outside my control, like the weather.” ― Catherine Lacey

What did you learn from these sex quotes and sayings?

That last quote is a strong one to end on.

It’s easy for couples to overlook the real benefits and intimacy that can be built through sex, but for that to happen, it has to be seen as more than just a physical act.

True and genuine intimacy within a relationship is much deeper and covers much more than just the physical.

If you want a strong relationship, work on all aspects of it: physical, emotional, and social.

When you do this, you’re on your way to building a lasting relationship because it will be built on more than just physical attraction and good sex.

If you liked these quotes, check out our swingers quotes!

What’s your biggest takeaway from these sex quotes and sayings?

Do you have any other favorite quotes to add?

Let us know in the comment section below.

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