Funny Wine Quotes to Get You Through the Rough Days

Sometimes rough days happen in life and a little wine can be just the thing to help you get through it. These funny wine quotes will make you pour a glass.

There is a case to be made for the benefit of drinking wine. It can be good for your heart, help prevent things like vision loss and colon cancer, and even improve lung function.

And a lot of people enjoy unwinding after a rough day with a glass of wine.

However, another benefit you can enjoy from wine is laughter. The following quotes give a good and often funny depiction of why people enjoy wine and the benefits that it brings in their own life.

Below is our collection of cool, inspirational, and funny wine quotes and sayings, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

Also, check out our list of funny alcohol quotes about drinking and partying.

Funny wine quotes about wisdom

1. “For when the wine is in, the wit is out.” – Thomas Becon

2. “Compromises are for relationships, not wine.” – Sir Robert Scott Caywood

3. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin

4. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra

5. “An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement.” – Unknown

6. “I tried to think of a way to always have clean bedsheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same color as my wine.” – Unknown

7. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” – Louis Pasteur

8. “Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.” – Aristophanes

9. “A glass of wine is good for your health… The leftover in the bottle is good for your morale.” – Anonymous

Funnywine quotes about people

10. “Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.” ― Leon Adams

11. “Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise.” – Charles Kingsley

12. “A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I’ll have a bottle.” – Unknown

13. “Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.” – Karl Marx
If you’re enjoying these quotes, make sure to read our collection of Karl Marx quotes that inspire critical thinking and questioning of society.

14. “Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

15. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” ― Pope John XXIII

16. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemmingway

17. “If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up in a wine bar.” – Unknown

18. “The only thing I throwback on Thursday is a glass of wine.” – Uknown

19. “If I ever go missing I’d like my picture put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me. – Unknown

20. “One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and one talks about it.” – King Edward VII

21. “If I did one of those wine and paint nights the instructor would be like wow look at you, you are really good at wine.” – Unknown

22. “I tried cooking with wine. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.” – Anonymous

Funnyfood and wine quotes

23. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” ― W.C. Fields

24. “What wine goes with Captain Crunch?” ― George Carlin

25. “When a man drinks wine at dinner, he begins to be better pleased with himself.” – Plato

26. “The only thing I can cook is white soup; the only ingredient is white wine.” – Uknown

You might also like these party quotes that remind you to celebrate life.

Funnywine quotes about happiness

27. “Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.” ― Alexander Fleming

28. “I loved the full heat of being drunk, like I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all directions.” —Leslie Jamison

29. “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.” —Matt Groening

30. “Always keep a bottle of Champagne in the fridge for special occasions. Sometimes, the special occasion is that you’ve got a bottle of Champagne in the fridge.” – Hester Browne

31. “One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” ― Charles Baudelaire

Funnywine quotes about age and wine

32. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” ― Joan Collins

33. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” ― Anonymous

34. “I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often – but I’m well preserved.” – Rose Kennedy

35. “I don’t go by the ratings. I buy wine that tastes good. Statistically, anybody’s ability to predict what will be a good wine a decade from now is limited.” – Richard Thaler

36. “I love everything that is old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.” – Oliver Goldsmith

Funny wine quotes that will make your day

37. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.” ― Martin Luther

38. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” ― Rumi

39. “Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

40. “I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.” – Bette Midler

41. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman

42. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

43. “About a minute ago, I had this urge to change the world. I quickly came to my senses and opened a bottle of wine instead.” – Anonymous

44. “More wine – Less whine” – Anonymous

45. “Reality is just an illusion that occurs due to lack of wine.” – Anonymous

46. “Spilling your glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.” – Anonymous

47. “Who is this –moderation– people are telling me to drink with?!” – Anonymous

48. “There comes a time in the day when no matter what the question is, the answer is always wine.” – Anonymous

49. “I will drink milk when cows eat grapes.” – Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

50. “I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get!” – Anonymous

Other funny wine quotes and sayings

51. “Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul.” – Horace

52. “Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” – Paulo Coelho

53. “A meal without wine is like a day without sun.” – Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

54. “Wine to me is passion. It’s family and friends. It’s warmth of heart and generosity of spirit.” – Robert Mondavi

55. “Whenever a man is tired, wine is a great restorer of strength.” – Homer

56. “The best kind of wine is that which is most pleasant to him who drinks it.” – Pliny the Elder

57. “Wine is a living liquid containing no preservatives. Its life cycle comprises youth, maturity, old age, and death. When not treated with reasonable respect it will sicken and die.” – Julia Child

58. “The discovery of good wine is increasingly better for mankind than the discovery of a new star.” – Leonardo da Vinci

59. “Being a wine enthusiast means you care more about quality than quantity.” – Jean-Claude Carriere

60. “More important than the food pairing is the person with whom you drink the wine.” – Christian Moueix

Funny wine quotes to make you smile

61. “Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.” –Napoleon Bonaparte

62. “A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow.” -Kathy Mattea

63. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” -Louis Pasteur

64. “Age appears best in four things: old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.” -Francis Bacon

65. “We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.” -Eduardo Galeano

66. “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.” -Ernest Hemingway

67. “I shall drink no wine before it’s time! OK, it’s time.” -Groucho Marx

68. “Always carry a corkscrew and the wine shall provide itself.” -Basil Bunting

69. “My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.” -Jonathan Swift

70. “Alcohol is a slow killer. I’m not in a hurry.”  -Georges Courteline

Funny wine quotes to give you a laugh

71. “‘Novinophobia’ – The fear of running out of wine.” -Author Unknown

72. “I only drink wine when I’m alone or with someone.” –Author Unknown

73. “Most days I juggle everything quite well, on the other days there’s red wine.” -Author Unknown 

74. “The best wines are the ones we drink with friends.” -Author Unknown

75. “Every empty bottle is filled with stories.” -Author Unknown

76. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.” -Author Unknown

77. “Wine…because no great story started with someone eating a salad.” -Author Unknown

78. “Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions.  You know, like Wednesdays.” -Author Unknown

79. “Wine is the most civilised thing in the world.” -Ernest Hemingway

80. “They say ‘do what you love and money will follow.’ So I ate cheesecake and drank some wine…now I wait.” -Author Unknown

Funny Wine Quotes For Winers

81. “It takes a lot of good beer to make great wine” ― Brian O’Donnell

82. “The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.” ― Benjamin Franklin

83. “Champagne is appropriate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.” ― Madeline Puckette

84. “I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn’t know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.” ― Basil Fawlty

85. “Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy.” — Henry Fielding

86. “I don’t do karaoke. I don’t dance, even at weddings. I’m the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine.” — Ricky Gervais

87. “Wine can be a better teacher than ink, and banter is often better than books.” — Stephen Fry

88. “Time, motion, and wine cause sleep.” — Ovid

89. “There is truth in wine and children.” — Plato

90. “It is widely held that too much wine will dull a man’s desire. Indeed it will in a dull man.” — John Osborne

Are you ready to pour a glass?

If it’s been one of those days but you aren’t able to enjoy a glass of wine just yet, hopefully, these quotes were able to bring you some enjoyment.

Or, if you are laughing as you read these quotes with a glass in your hand, enjoy knowing that you are doing good for your health in more than one way, both your physical and mental health.

Do those around you a favor and pour them a glass and share a few quotes because it’s always more fun to laugh and drink with friends. Just remember to enjoy “with moderation” as mentioned above.

Did you enjoy these funny wine quotes and sayings? Which of the quotes is your favorite? Let us know in the comment section below.