130 Funny Wine Quotes to Get You Through the Rough Days

Sometimes rough days happen in life and a little wine can be just the thing to help you get through it

These funny wine quotes will make you pour a glass.

There is a case to be made for the benefit of drinking wine.

It can be good for your heart, help prevent things like vision loss and colon cancer, and even improve lung function.

And a lot of people enjoy unwinding after a rough day with a glass of wine.

However, another benefit you can enjoy from wine is laughter.

The following quotes give a good and often funny depiction of why people enjoy wine and the benefits that it brings in their own life.

Below is our collection of cool, inspirational, and funny wine quotes and sayings, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

If you like this article, we suggest you explore our most popular quotes article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily encouragement. 

Check out more inspirational quotes on our motivational quotes category page.

Funny wine quotes about wisdom

1. “For when the wine is in, the wit is out.” – Thomas Becon

Funny Wine Quotes about wit

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2. “Compromises are for relationships, not wine.” – Sir Robert Scott Caywood

Funny Wine Quotes about relationships

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3. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin

Funny Wine Quotes about wisdom

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4. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra

Funny Wine Quotes about alcohol

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5. “An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement.” – Unknown

Funny Wine Quotes and sayings

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6. “I tried to think of a way to always have clean bedsheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same color as my wine.” – Unknown

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7. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” – Louis Pasteur

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8. “Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.” – Aristophanes

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9. “A glass of wine is good for your health… The leftover in the bottle is good for your morale.” – Anonymous

wine quotes about a glass of wine is good for your health

Funny wine quotes about people

10. “Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.” ― Leon Adams

funny wine quotes about people

11. “Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise.” – Charles Kingsley

wine quotes about old friends like wise

12. “A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I’ll have a bottle.” – Unknown

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13. “Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.” – Karl Marx

wine quotes about be careful to trust a person who does not like wine

14. “Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

wine quotes about the heart of man

15. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” ― Pope John XXIII

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16. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemmingway

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17. “If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up in a wine bar.” – Unknown

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18. “The only thing I throwback on Thursday is a glass of wine.” – Uknown

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19. “If I ever go missing I’d like my picture put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me. – Unknown

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20. “One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and one talks about it.” – King Edward VII

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21. “If I did one of those wine and paint nights the instructor would be like wow look at you, you are really good at wine.” – Unknown

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22. “I tried cooking with wine. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.” – Anonymous

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Funny food and wine quotes

23. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” ― W.C. Fields

funny food and wine quotes

24. “What wine goes with Captain Crunch?” ― George Carlin

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25. When a man drinks wine at dinner, he begins to be better pleased with himself.” – Plato

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26. “The only thing I can cook is white soup; the only ingredient is white wine.” – Uknown

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Funny wine quotes about happiness

27. “Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.” ― Alexander Fleming

funny wine quotes about happiness

28. “I loved the full heat of being drunk, like I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all directions.” —Leslie Jamison

wine quotes about melting chocolate and spreading in all directions

29. “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.” —Matt Groening

wine quotes about alcohol

30. “Always keep a bottle of Champagne in the fridge for special occasions. Sometimes, the special occasion is that you’ve got a bottle of Champagne in the fridge.” – Hester Browne

wine quotes for special occasions

31. “One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” ― Charles Baudelaire

Funny wine quotes about age and wine

32. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” ― Joan Collins

33. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” ― Anonymous

34. “I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often – but I’m well preserved.” – Rose Kennedy

35. “I don’t go by the ratings. I buy wine that tastes good. Statistically, anybody’s ability to predict what will be a good wine a decade from now is limited.” – Richard Thaler

36. “I love everything that is old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.” – Oliver Goldsmith

Funny wine quotes that will make your day

37. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.” ― Martin Luther

38. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” ― Rumi

39. “Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

40. “I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.” – Bette Midler

41. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman

42. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

43. “About a minute ago, I had this urge to change the world. I quickly came to my senses and opened a bottle of wine instead.” – Anonymous

44. “More wine – Less whine” – Anonymous

45. “Reality is just an illusion that occurs due to lack of wine.” – Anonymous

46. “Spilling your glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.” – Anonymous

47. “Who is this –moderation– people are telling me to drink with?!” – Anonymous

48. “There comes a time in the day when no matter what the question is, the answer is always wine.” – Anonymous

49. “I will drink milk when cows eat grapes.” – Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

50. “I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get!” – Anonymous

Other funny wine quotes and sayings

51. “Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul.” – Horace

52. “Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” – Paulo Coelho

53. “A meal without wine is like a day without sun.” – Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

54. “Wine to me is passion. It’s family and friends. It’s warmth of heart and generosity of spirit.” – Robert Mondavi

55. Whenever a man is tired, wine is a great restorer of strength.” – Homer

56. “The best kind of wine is that which is most pleasant to him who drinks it.” – Pliny the Elder

57. “Wine is a living liquid containing no preservatives. Its life cycle comprises youth, maturity, old age, and death. When not treated with reasonable respect it will sicken and die.” – Julia Child

58. The discovery of good wine is increasingly better for mankind than the discovery of a new star.” – Leonardo da Vinci

59. “Being a wine enthusiast means you care more about quality than quantity.” – Jean-Claude Carriere

60. “More important than the food pairing is the person with whom you drink the wine.” – Christian Moueix

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Funny wine quotes to make you smile

61. “Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.” –Napoleon Bonaparte

62. “A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow.” -Kathy Mattea

63. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” -Louis Pasteur

64. “Age appears best in four things: old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.” Francis Bacon

65. “We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.” -Eduardo Galeano

66. “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.” Ernest Hemingway

67. “I shall drink no wine before it’s time! OK, it’s time.”Groucho Marx

68. “Always carry a corkscrew and the wine shall provide itself.” -Basil Bunting

69. “My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.” -Jonathan Swift

70. “Alcohol is a slow killer. I’m not in a hurry.”  -Georges Courteline

Funny wine quotes to give you a laugh

71. “‘Novinophobia’ – The fear of running out of wine.” -Author Unknown

72. “I only drink wine when I’m alone or with someone.” –Author Unknown

73. “Most days I juggle everything quite well, on the other days there’s red wine.” -Author Unknown 

74. “The best wines are the ones we drink with friends.” -Author Unknown

75. “Every empty bottle is filled with stories.” -Author Unknown

76. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.” -Author Unknown

77. “Wine…because no great story started with someone eating a salad.” -Author Unknown

78. “Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions.  You know, like Wednesdays.” -Author Unknown

79. “Wine is the most civilised thing in the world.” -Ernest Hemingway

80. “They say ‘do what you love and money will follow.’ So I ate cheesecake and drank some wine…now I wait.” -Author Unknown

Funny Wine Quotes For Winers

81. “It takes a lot of good beer to make great wine” ― Brian O’Donnell

82. “The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.” ― Benjamin Franklin

83. “Champagne is appropriate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.” ― Madeline Puckette

84. “I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn’t know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.” ― Basil Fawlty

85. “Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy.” — Henry Fielding

86. “I don’t do karaoke. I don’t dance, even at weddings. I’m the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine.” — Ricky Gervais

87. “Wine can be a better teacher than ink, and banter is often better than books.” — Stephen Fry

88. “Time, motion, and wine cause sleep.” — Ovid

89. “There is truth in wine and children.” — Plato

90. “It is widely held that too much wine will dull a man’s desire. Indeed it will in a dull man.” — John Osborne

Funny Wine Quotes To Give You An Aesthetic

91. “She will learn in time that she can lie, and the words will flow like wine, easily poured, easily swallowed.” ― V.E. Schwab

92. “Drinking wine is like using magic: there’s always a price to pay.” ― Neel Burton

93. “Love is the wine as old as time, which quenches our lonely longing.” ― John Mark Green

94. “People who want you in their lives, respect you whether you are grapes or fine wine.” ― Sanita Belgrave

95. “I’m no connoisseur of wines, but I know what’s bad.” ― Lynne Reid Banks

96. “The truce is broken?” Clearly this was worrying news, but all I could think about was that wine, and how I wanted to taste it again.” ― Giles Kristian

97. “If you ask a server for a seriously old wine in my neighborhood, they’ll look at you funny and then bring you a half-finished glass from somebody else’s table.” ― Gina Barreca

98. “There’s wine spilled all over the floor and I wish to write stories with it.” ― Maya Zaveri

99. “The greatest wines are those that speak of life and death, power and mercy, sex and sensuality.” ― Neel Burton

100. “A glass of wine will set you free, Or so I thought, It only brought me misery, Sweet alcohol” ― Soroosh Shahrivar

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Funny Wine Quotes To Make You Smile

101. “I am falser than vows made in wine.” ― William Shakespeare

102. “I’ve entered the world of wine without any professional training, but a definite appetite for good bottles.” ― Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

103. “Good wine is a good familiar creature if it is well used.” ― William Shakespeare

104. “It’s a smile, it’s a kiss, it’s a sip of wine … it’s summertime!” ― Kenny Chesney

105. “Wine is earth’s answer to the sun.” ― Margaret Fuller

106. “What I do and what I dream include thee, as the wine must taste of its own grapes.” ― Elizabeth Barrett Browning

107. “A bottle of wine was good company.” ― Ernest Hemingway

108. “When the wine goes in, strange things come out.” ― Friedrich Schiller

109. “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.” ― Benjamin Franklin

110. “Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried with fewer tensions and more tolerance.” ― Benjamin Franklin

Funny Wine Quotes To Make You Wanna Get Tipsy

111. “I believe that love and wine have a similar potential to get better over time.” — Aaron Ben-Ze’ev

112. “You don’t need a suitable occasion to drink a great wine because the drinking of a great wine is in itself the occasion!” — Tara Devon O’Leary

113. “Wine is God’s special drink. The purpose of good wine is to inspire us to a livelier sense of gratitude to God.” — John Calvin

114. “Keep your friends close. Keep your wine closer. Be kind. Be helpful. Bring wine.” — Clare Pooley

115. “A drink of fine wine cleanses the soul.” — Benjamin Michael Scarlato

116. “Wine is the most precious and stimulating element of the human diet.” — Patrick Alexander

117. “If I could write a love letter to my alcohol, wine would be adored for it’s constant shoulder and its sweet okayness.” — Dana Bowman

118. “Merry as good company, good wine, good welcome can make good people.” — Shakespear

119. “Nothing creates friends more quickly than a shared laugh over a glass of wine.” — Malcolm Kushner

120. “I don’t see why boxed wine doesn’t have a little straw stuck to the side!” — Catherine Gray

Funny Wine Quotes to Raise a Glass

121. “One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.” ― Samuel Johnson

122. “Drunken with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you will. But be drunken.” ― Eugene O’Neill

123. Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.” ― Dorothy Parker

124. Wine is bottled poetry.” ― Robert Louis Stevenson

125. “Wine is like music, it can take you on a journey and evoke emotions.” ― Bradley Cooper

126. “Wine is one of the most civilized things in the world and one of the most natural things of the world that has been brought to the greatest perfection.” ― Ernest Hemingway

127. “Wine is inspiring and adds greatly to the joy of living.” ― Napoleon Bonaparte

128. “When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does – faked it.” ― Art Buchwald

129. “Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.” ― Andre Simon.

130. Wine is sunlight, held together by water.” ― Galileo Galilei

Are you ready to pour a glass?

If it’s been one of those days but you aren’t able to enjoy a glass of wine just yet, hopefully, these quotes were able to bring you some enjoyment.

Or, if you are laughing as you read these quotes with a glass in your hand, enjoy knowing that you are doing good for your health in more than one way, both your physical and mental health.

Do those around you a favor and pour them a glass and share a few quotes because it’s always more fun to laugh and drink with friends.

Just remember to enjoy “with moderation” as mentioned above.

Did you enjoy these funny wine quotes and sayings?

Which of the quotes is your favorite?

Let us know in the comment section below.

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  1. Ramon Robledo

    December 3, 2021 at 5:25 PM

    Who is this – moderation- people are talking to drink with?


  2. Angela

    April 23, 2020 at 1:07 PM

    What wine goes with Captain Crunch? George Carlin make me laugh out loud, so funny, but most all of them are, thank you.

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