Sometimes rough days happen in life and a little wine can be just the thing to help you get through it. These funny wine quotes will make you pour a glass.
There is a case to be made for the benefit of drinking wine. It can be good for your heart, help prevent things like vision loss and colon cancer, and even improve lung function. And a lot of people enjoy unwinding after a rough day with a glass of wine.
However, another benefit you can enjoy from wine is laughter. The following quotes give a good and often funny depiction of why people enjoy wine and the benefits that it brings in their own life.
Below is our collection of cool, inspirational, and funny wine quotes and sayings, collected from a variety of sources over the years.
Also check out our list of incredible alcohol quotes about drinking and partying.
Funny wine quotes about wisdom
1. “For when the wine is in, the wit is out.” – Thomas Becon
2. “Compromises are for relationships, not wine.” – Sir Robert Scott Caywood
3. “I tried to think of a way to always have clean bedsheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same color as my wine.” – Unknown
4. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra
5. “An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement.” – Unknown
6. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin
7. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” – Louis Pasteur
8. “Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.” – Aristophanes
9. “A glass of wine is good for your health… The leftover in the bottle is good for your morale.” – Anonymous
Funny wine quotes about people
10. “Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.” ― Leon Adams
11. “Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise.” – Charles Kingsley
12. “A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I’ll have a bottle.” – Unknown
13. “Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.” – Karl Marx
14. “Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
15. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” ― Pope John XXIII
16. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemmingway
17. “If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up in a wine bar.” – Unknown
18. “The only thing I throwback on Thursday is a glass of wine.” – Uknown
19. “If I ever go missing I’d like my picture put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me. – Unknown
20. “One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and one talks about it.” – King Edward VII
21. “If I did one of those wine and paint nights the instructor would be like wow look at you, you are really good at wine.” – Unknown
22. “I tried cooking with wine. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.” – Anonymous
Funny food and wine quotes
23. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” ― W.C. Fields
24. “What wine goes with Captain Crunch?” ― George Carlin
25. “When a man drinks wine at dinner, he begins to be better pleased with himself.” – Plato
26. “The only thing I can cook is white soup; the only ingredient is white wine.” – Uknown
Funny wine quotes about happiness
27. “Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.” ― Alexander Fleming
28. “I loved the full heat of being drunk, like I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all directions.” —Leslie Jamison
29. “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.” —Matt Groening
30. “Always keep a bottle of Champagne in the fridge for special occasions. Sometimes, the special occasion is that you’ve got a bottle of Champagne in the fridge.” – Hester Browne
31. “One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” ― Charles Baudelaire
Funny wine quotes about age and wine
32. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” ― Joan Collins
33. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” ― Anonymous
34. “I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often – but I’m well preserved.” – Rose Kennedy
35. “I don’t go by the ratings. I buy wine that tastes good. Statistically, anybody’s ability to predict what will be a good wine a decade from now is limited.” – Richard Thaler
36. “I love everything that is old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.” – Oliver Goldsmith
More funny wine quotes
37. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.” ― Martin Luther
38. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” ― Rumi
39. “Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
40. “I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.” – Bette Midler
41. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman
42. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
43. “About a minute ago, I had this urge to change the world. I quickly came to my senses and opened a bottle of wine instead.” – Anonymous
44. “More wine – Less whine” – Anonymous
45. “Reality is just an illusion that occurs due to lack of wine.” – Anonymous
46. “Spilling your glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.” – Anonymous
47. “Who is this –moderation– people are telling me to drink with?!” – Anonymous
48. “There comes a time in the day when no matter what the question is, the answer is always wine.” – Anonymous
49. “I will drink milk when cows eat grapes.” – Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
50. “I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get!” – Anonymous
Are you ready to pour a glass?
If it’s been one of those days but you aren’t able to enjoy a glass of wine just yet, hopefully, these quotes were able to bring you some enjoyment. Or, if you are laughing as you read these quotes with a glass in your hand, enjoy knowing that you are doing good for your health in more than one way, both your physical and mental health.
Do those around you a favor and pour them a glass and share a few quotes because it’s always more fun to laugh and drink with friends. Just remember to enjoy “with moderation” as mentioned above.
Did you enjoy these funny wine quotes? Which of the quotes is your favorite? Let us know in the comment section below.
