Funny Wine Quotes to Get You Through the Rough Days
Sometimes rough days happen in life and a little wine can be just the thing to help you get through it
These funny wine quotes will make you pour a glass.
There is a case to be made for the benefit of drinking wine.
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It can be good for your heart, help prevent things like vision loss and colon cancer, and even improve lung function.
And a lot of people enjoy unwinding after a rough day with a glass of wine.
However, another benefit you can enjoy from wine is laughter.
The following quotes give a good and often funny depiction of why people enjoy wine and the benefits that it brings in their own life.
Below is our collection of cool, inspirational, and funny wine quotes and sayings, collected from a variety of sources over the years.
Also, check out our list of funny alcohol quotes about drinking and partying.
If you like this article, we suggest you explore our most popular quotes article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily encouragement.
Check out more inspirational quotes on our motivational quotes category page.
Funny wine quotes about wisdom
1. “For when the wine is in, the wit is out.” – Thomas Becon
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2. “Compromises are for relationships, not wine.” – Sir Robert Scott Caywood
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3. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin
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4. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra
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5. “An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement.” – Unknown
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6. “I tried to think of a way to always have clean bedsheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same color as my wine.” – Unknown
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7. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” – Louis Pasteur
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8. “Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.” – Aristophanes
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9. “A glass of wine is good for your health… The leftover in the bottle is good for your morale.” – Anonymous
Funny wine quotes about people
10. “Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.” ― Leon Adams
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11. “Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise.” – Charles Kingsley
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12. “A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I’ll have a bottle.” – Unknown
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13. “Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.” – Karl Marx
14. “Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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15. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” ― Pope John XXIII
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16. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemmingway
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17. “If you walk a mile in my shoes, you’ll end up in a wine bar.” – Unknown
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18. “The only thing I throwback on Thursday is a glass of wine.” – Uknown
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19. “If I ever go missing I’d like my picture put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me. – Unknown
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20. “One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and one talks about it.” – King Edward VII
21. “If I did one of those wine and paint nights the instructor would be like wow look at you, you are really good at wine.” – Unknown
22. “I tried cooking with wine. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.” – Anonymous
Funny food and wine quotes
23. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” ― W.C. Fields
24. “What wine goes with Captain Crunch?” ― George Carlin
25. “When a man drinks wine at dinner, he begins to be better pleased with himself.” – Plato
26. “The only thing I can cook is white soup; the only ingredient is white wine.” – Uknown
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Funny wine quotes about happiness
27. “Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.” ― Alexander Fleming
28. “I loved the full heat of being drunk, like I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all directions.” —Leslie Jamison
29. “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.” —Matt Groening
30. “Always keep a bottle of Champagne in the fridge for special occasions. Sometimes, the special occasion is that you’ve got a bottle of Champagne in the fridge.” – Hester Browne
31. “One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” ― Charles Baudelaire
Funny wine quotes about age and wine
32. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” ― Joan Collins
33. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” ― Anonymous
34. “I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often – but I’m well preserved.” – Rose Kennedy
35. “I don’t go by the ratings. I buy wine that tastes good. Statistically, anybody’s ability to predict what will be a good wine a decade from now is limited.” – Richard Thaler
36. “I love everything that is old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.” – Oliver Goldsmith
Funny wine quotes that will make your day
37. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.” ― Martin Luther
38. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” ― Rumi
39. “Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
40. “I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.” – Bette Midler
41. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman
42. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
43. “About a minute ago, I had this urge to change the world. I quickly came to my senses and opened a bottle of wine instead.” – Anonymous
44. “More wine – Less whine” – Anonymous
45. “Reality is just an illusion that occurs due to lack of wine.” – Anonymous
46. “Spilling your glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.” – Anonymous
47. “Who is this –moderation– people are telling me to drink with?!” – Anonymous
48. “There comes a time in the day when no matter what the question is, the answer is always wine.” – Anonymous
49. “I will drink milk when cows eat grapes.” – Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
50. “I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get!” – Anonymous
Other funny wine quotes and sayings
51. “Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul.” – Horace
52. “Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” – Paulo Coelho
53. “A meal without wine is like a day without sun.” – Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
54. “Wine to me is passion. It’s family and friends. It’s warmth of heart and generosity of spirit.” – Robert Mondavi
55. “Whenever a man is tired, wine is a great restorer of strength.” – Homer
56. “The best kind of wine is that which is most pleasant to him who drinks it.” – Pliny the Elder
57. “Wine is a living liquid containing no preservatives. Its life cycle comprises youth, maturity, old age, and death. When not treated with reasonable respect it will sicken and die.” – Julia Child
58. “The discovery of good wine is increasingly better for mankind than the discovery of a new star.” – Leonardo da Vinci
59. “Being a wine enthusiast means you care more about quality than quantity.” – Jean-Claude Carriere
60. “More important than the food pairing is the person with whom you drink the wine.” – Christian Moueix
Funny wine quotes to make you smile
61. “Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.” –Napoleon Bonaparte
62. “A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow.” -Kathy Mattea
63. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” -Louis Pasteur
64. “Age appears best in four things: old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.” -Francis Bacon
65. “We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.” -Eduardo Galeano
66. “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.” -Ernest Hemingway
67. “I shall drink no wine before it’s time! OK, it’s time.” -Groucho Marx
68. “Always carry a corkscrew and the wine shall provide itself.” -Basil Bunting
69. “My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.” -Jonathan Swift
70. “Alcohol is a slow killer. I’m not in a hurry.” -Georges Courteline
Funny wine quotes to give you a laugh
71. “‘Novinophobia’ – The fear of running out of wine.” -Author Unknown
72. “I only drink wine when I’m alone or with someone.” –Author Unknown
73. “Most days I juggle everything quite well, on the other days there’s red wine.” -Author Unknown
74. “The best wines are the ones we drink with friends.” -Author Unknown
75. “Every empty bottle is filled with stories.” -Author Unknown
76. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.” -Author Unknown
77. “Wine…because no great story started with someone eating a salad.” -Author Unknown
78. “Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know, like Wednesdays.” -Author Unknown
79. “Wine is the most civilised thing in the world.” -Ernest Hemingway
80. “They say ‘do what you love and money will follow.’ So I ate cheesecake and drank some wine…now I wait.” -Author Unknown
Funny Wine Quotes For Winers
81. “It takes a lot of good beer to make great wine” ― Brian O’Donnell
82. “The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.” ― Benjamin Franklin
83. “Champagne is appropriate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.” ― Madeline Puckette
84. “I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn’t know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.” ― Basil Fawlty
85. “Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy.” — Henry Fielding
86. “I don’t do karaoke. I don’t dance, even at weddings. I’m the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine.” — Ricky Gervais
87. “Wine can be a better teacher than ink, and banter is often better than books.” — Stephen Fry
88. “Time, motion, and wine cause sleep.” — Ovid
89. “There is truth in wine and children.” — Plato
90. “It is widely held that too much wine will dull a man’s desire. Indeed it will in a dull man.” — John Osborne
Funny Wine Quotes To Give You An Aesthetic
91. “She will learn in time that she can lie, and the words will flow like wine, easily poured, easily swallowed.” ― V.E. Schwab
92. “Drinking wine is like using magic: there’s always a price to pay.” ― Neel Burton
93. “Love is the wine as old as time, which quenches our lonely longing.” ― John Mark Green
94. “People who want you in their lives, respect you whether you are grapes or fine wine.” ― Sanita Belgrave
95. “I’m no connoisseur of wines, but I know what’s bad.” ― Lynne Reid Banks
96. “The truce is broken?” Clearly this was worrying news, but all I could think about was that wine, and how I wanted to taste it again.” ― Giles Kristian
97. “If you ask a server for a seriously old wine in my neighborhood, they’ll look at you funny and then bring you a half-finished glass from somebody else’s table.” ― Gina Barreca
98. “There’s wine spilled all over the floor and I wish to write stories with it.” ― Maya Zaveri
99. “The greatest wines are those that speak of life and death, power and mercy, sex and sensuality.” ― Neel Burton
100. “A glass of wine will set you free, Or so I thought, It only brought me misery, Sweet alcohol” ― Soroosh Shahrivar
Funny Wine Quotes To Make You Smile
101. “I am falser than vows made in wine.” ― William Shakespeare
102. “I’ve entered the world of wine without any professional training, but a definite appetite for good bottles.” ― Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
103. “Good wine is a good familiar creature if it is well used.” ― William Shakespeare
104. “It’s a smile, it’s a kiss, it’s a sip of wine … it’s summertime!” ― Kenny Chesney
105. “Wine is earth’s answer to the sun.” ― Margaret Fuller
106. “What I do and what I dream include thee, as the wine must taste of its own grapes.” ― Elizabeth Barrett Browning
107. “A bottle of wine was good company.” ― Ernest Hemingway
108. “When the wine goes in, strange things come out.” ― Friedrich Schiller
109. “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.” ― Benjamin Franklin
110. “Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried with fewer tensions and more tolerance.” ― Benjamin Franklin
Funny Wine Quotes To Make You Wanna Get Tipsy
111. “I believe that love and wine have a similar potential to get better over time.” — Aaron Ben-Ze’ev
112. “You don’t need a suitable occasion to drink a great wine because the drinking of a great wine is in itself the occasion!” — Tara Devon O’Leary
113. “Wine is God’s special drink. The purpose of good wine is to inspire us to a livelier sense of gratitude to God.” — John Calvin
114. “Keep your friends close. Keep your wine closer. Be kind. Be helpful. Bring wine.” — Clare Pooley
115. “A drink of fine wine cleanses the soul.” — Benjamin Michael Scarlato
116. “Wine is the most precious and stimulating element of the human diet.” — Patrick Alexander
117. “If I could write a love letter to my alcohol, wine would be adored for it’s constant shoulder and its sweet okayness.” — Dana Bowman
118. “Merry as good company, good wine, good welcome can make good people.” — Shakespear
119. “Nothing creates friends more quickly than a shared laugh over a glass of wine.” — Malcolm Kushner
120. “I don’t see why boxed wine doesn’t have a little straw stuck to the side!” — Catherine Gray
Funny Wine Quotes to Raise a Glass
121. “One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.” ― Samuel Johnson
122. “Drunken with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you will. But be drunken.” ― Eugene O’Neill
123. “Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.” ― Dorothy Parker
124. “Wine is bottled poetry.” ― Robert Louis Stevenson
125. “Wine is like music, it can take you on a journey and evoke emotions.” ― Bradley Cooper
126. “Wine is one of the most civilized things in the world and one of the most natural things of the world that has been brought to the greatest perfection.” ― Ernest Hemingway
127. “Wine is inspiring and adds greatly to the joy of living.” ― Napoleon Bonaparte
128. “When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does – faked it.” ― Art Buchwald
129. “Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.” ― Andre Simon.
130. “Wine is sunlight, held together by water.” ― Galileo Galilei
Are you ready to pour a glass?
If it’s been one of those days but you aren’t able to enjoy a glass of wine just yet, hopefully, these quotes were able to bring you some enjoyment.
Or, if you are laughing as you read these quotes with a glass in your hand, enjoy knowing that you are doing good for your health in more than one way, both your physical and mental health.
Do those around you a favor and pour them a glass and share a few quotes because it’s always more fun to laugh and drink with friends.
Just remember to enjoy “with moderation” as mentioned above.
Did you enjoy these funny wine quotes and sayings?
Which of the quotes is your favorite?
Let us know in the comment section below.
Ramon Robledo
December 3, 2021 at 5:25 PM
Who is this – moderation- people are talking to drink with?
GREAT
Angela
April 23, 2020 at 1:07 PM
What wine goes with Captain Crunch? George Carlin make me laugh out loud, so funny, but most all of them are, thank you.