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Funny College Quotes that are on Another Level

Norbert Juma, Editor

When you come across funny college quotes, they remind you of the best elements of college life you have enjoyed.

When reading these funny quotes, it will bring related memories back as fresh as ever.

There are so many funny college experiences and therefore quotes because a lot of young adults are in one place and learning about life on their own.

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Tell us your favorite college quote in the comment section below.

What are the benefits of reading these college quotes?

To give you a reminder of those fun times, we have compiled some of the best funny college quotes.

Going to college imparts academic wisdom to young adults, but it also teaches them about:

  • friendships and relationships
  • how to live on their own (sort of)
  • their interests and who they are

You will find this list extremely useful whenever you need a funny quote that fits the situation well.

Enjoy the funny college quotes below, and don’t forget to share your personal, funny college moments!

Top 10 funny college quotes

This first collection of quotes is some of our favorites! Take a look and let us know which one is your favorite.

1. “College has given me the confidence I need to fail.” Jarod Kintz 

2. “A senior always feels like the university is going to the kids.” Tom Masson 

3. “Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner.” Will Rogers

4. “Colleges don’t make fools they only develop them.” George Horace Lorimer

5. “A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library.” Shelby Foote

6. “They teach anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies.” Orson Welles

7. “I was a modest, good-humored boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable.” Max Beerbohm

8. “If you feel that you have both feet planted on solid ground, then the university has failed you.” Robert Gohen

9. “Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology.” Clive James

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10. “Let me say no danger and no hardship ever makes me wish to get back to that college life again.” Joshua Chamberlain

Funny college quotes everyone loves

11. “I’m majoring in philosophy so I can be unemployed all my life.” Unknown 

12. “After four years, I’ve realized that the meaning of life can’t be found here!” Unknown

13. “Do not be afraid to ask for help. Nobody gets through college on their own.” Michelle Obama

14. “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” — G. B. Trudeau

15. “The aim of a college education is to teach you to know a good man when you see one.” William James

16. “A college education should equip one to entertain three things: a friend, an idea and oneself.” Thomas Ehrlich

17. “If the college you visit has a bookstore filled with t-shirts rather than books, find another college.” R. Albert Mohler Jr.

18. “The things taught in schools and colleges are not an education, but the means to an education.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

19. “Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.” Elbert Hubbard

20. “That’s what college is for—getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you’re forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of ’em on the wall in my room.” Jeph Jacques

Funny college quotes for the graduation ceremony

21. “When they hand you your diploma, keep moving. Just in case they try to take it back.” Unknown

22. “I can’t wait to hear your name horribly mispronounced at the graduation ceremony.” Unknown

23. “At graduation you get to wear a cap and gown, but it’s a good idea to also wear something underneath it.” Greg Tamblyn

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24. “My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives.” Lin-Manuel Miranda

25. “Graduation: A ritual event where they award you a diploma, in the hope that you have learned enough to be able to read it.” Unknown 

26. “Struggling to decide what to do after graduation is, and always will be, a sort of rite of passage to the next phase of your life.” Gloria Davidson

27. “I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes – which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.” Art Buchwald

28. “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car. But if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” Theodore Roosevelt

29. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.” Erma Bombeck

30. “You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that’s wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that’s worse. This is a day.” Andy Samberg

Hard to resist funny college quotes

31. “College is for idiots!” Unknown

32. “Blurry eyes is my normal look.” Unknown

33. “Ramen noodles are a food group.” Unknown

34. “College life is character building! Really?” Unknown

35. “Help me! I’m stuck in class and can’t get out!” Unknown

36. “College is hard. I have to wake myself up every morning.” Unknown 

37. “Zombies have the right to attend college. They’ve had it for centuries!” Unknown

38. “The chief value in going to college is that it’s the only way to learn. It really doesn’t matter.” George Edwin

39. “You are the nerds who are going to make some serious bank, which is why I am here today… to marry the best-looking amongst you.” Minday Kaling

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40. “Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income—which he then spends sending his son to college.” Bill Vaughn

Funny college quotes you can’t ignore

41. “Stress moved in and I checked out.” — Unknown

42. “A real friend wouldn’t let me be here!” Unknown

43. “You have to be really serious to study math.” Unknown

44. “You can lead a boy to college but you can’t make him think.” Elbert Hubbard

45. “Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.” R. S. Ingersoll

46. “Colleges are like old age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.” Bob Dylan

47. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” Claude McDonald

48. “80 percent of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read.” Unknown

49. “The freshmen bring a little knowledge in and the seniors take none out, so it accumulates through the years.” — A. Lawrence Lowell

50. “I’ve yet to be on a campus where most women weren’t worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I’ve yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing.” Gloria Steinem

Did you like these funny college quotes?

After reading the funny college quotes listed above, you might have found something you can relate to your college life.

Even if you aren’t old enough to attend college, you would have felt excited about your upcoming college life. 

Life at college mainly depends on your perception.

Those interested in learning new things would enjoy every aspect of their college life.

If you like the funny college quotes listed above, mention them in the comments below.

Besides you can also tell us about your favorite funny college quotes.

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