Funny Friendship Quotes About Life and Love

These funny friendship quotes will make you laugh while reminding you just how special your true friends are to you in life.

It can be argued that there is no greater treasure than true friendship.

There have been countless books, movies, and stories based on the value of friendship.

What does friendship mean to you?

Everyone has an opinion on friendship, from authors and politicians, to TV personalities!

Grab a group of friends and enjoy a laugh with these funny friendship quotes.

Some of these are as awkwardly humorous as the best friendships!

Here is our collection of the best quotes about friendship, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

Enjoy!

Funny friendship quotes from famous authors

1. “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” – Mark Twain

2. “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

3. “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?’” – A.A. Milne

4. “Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.” – Charles Lamb

5. “Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

6. “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” – Linda Grayson

7. “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” – C.S. Lewis

8. “Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.” – Virginia Woolf

9. “We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.” –William Somerset Maugham

10. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? thought I was the only one.” – C.S. Lewis

11. “If you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.” – S.E. Hinton

12. “There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.” – Jim Henson

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Funny quotes about friendship between women

13. “Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed.” – Laurie Colwin

14. “One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.” – Marcelene Cox

15. “Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces.” – Anne Lindbergh

Funny Friendship Quotes that are slightly awkward

16. “There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.” – Sylvia Plath

17. “Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.” – Unknown

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18. “Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.” – Unknown

19. “Friends make you smile — best friends make you giggle ’til you pee your pants.” – Terri Guillemets

20. “I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.” – Unknown

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21. “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” – Robert Brault

22. “I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.” – Unknown

23. “Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.” – Unknown

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Funny quotes on what makes a good friend

24. “This is by far your worst idea ever…I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” – Unknown

25. “We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.” – Unknown

26. “Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” – Greg Tamblyn

27. “If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.” – Oprah Winfrey

28. “Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.” – Unknown

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29. “True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together.” – Emilie Saint-Genis

30. “Friends don’t let friends do stupid things… Alone.” – Unknown

31. “A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.” – Jim Hayes

32. “You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” – Laurence J. Peter

33. “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, Damn, that was fun.” – Groucho Marx

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Funny friendship quotes to brighten your day

34. “As your best friend I’ll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.” – Unknown

35. “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” – Bernard Meltzer

36. “I don’t need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.” – Unknown

37. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey

38. “A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.” – Len Wein

39. “A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare

40. “We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.” – Unknown

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Funny friendship quotes involving money and politicians

41. “The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” – Mark Twain

42. “I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.” – Ann Richards

43. “I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends – they’re the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!” – Warren G. Harding

44. “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” – Samuel Butler

45. “There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.” – Benjamin Franklin

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Funny friendship quotes from philosophers

46. “True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

47. “A friend to all is a friend to none.” – Aristotle

48. “Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

49. “No one is a friend to his friend who does not love in return.” – Plato

50. “Plato is my friend, Aristotle is my friend, but my greatest friend is truth.” – Isaac Newton

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Funny friendship quotes that will make your day

51. “Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’” — Cookie Monster

52. “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” — Marlene Dietrich

53. “Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.” — Sicilian Proverb

54. “Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.” —Charles Lamb

55. “I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.” — Jane Austen

56. “You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.” — Elizabeth Taylor

57. “One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” — Euripides

58. “One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.” — George Carlin

59. “To like and dislike the same things, that is what makes a solid friendship.” — Sallust

60. “Friendship is a wildly underrated medication.” — Anna Deavere Smith

Funny Friendship Quotes To Grow a Long Lasting Bond

61. “Never leave a friend behind. Friends are all we have to get us through this life–and they are the only things from this world that we could hope to see in the next.” ― Dean Koontz

62. “A friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.” ― Frances Ward Weller

63. “Friendship consists in forgetting what one gives and remembering what one receives.” ― Alexandre Dumas

64. “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” ― Joan Powers

65. “Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.” ― Richelle Mead

66. “Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.” ― Oscar Wilde

67. “Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.” ― Sarah Desse

68. “I am always saying ‘Glad to’ve met you’ to somebody I’m not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.” ― J.D. Salinger

69. “I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.” ― Robert Brault

70. “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” ― Woodrow T. Wilson